Dating Thread 157 - Kitten or Smitten: Which bench are *you* on?

[MrDrummer]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3566658-Dating-Thread-156-It-is-hot-hot-hot

LilyRose88 I think that would have freaked me out a bit, I hate talking on the phone so a call out of the blue wouldn’t have made me happy, he sounds a bit full on?

Cassettes he works in my area and seems to think it’s ok to drop in for a coffee when he’s passing, today he sent a message asking what I was up too, I told him I was busy doing my tax return (which I was, paper work everywhere), he then said ‘put the kettle on’ and before I could reply he was knocking on my door. I then told him ‘we won’t be having sex’ he then got funny with me saying ‘is that all you think I’m after?’ ,he had a coffee, things got a bit friendly and it was all over with pretty fast and al a bit disappointing. So he implies he doesn’t just want sex, we then have sex and then he goes back to work. I don’t want a relationship with him, FWB would be ok if I was getting something out of it but I’m not. I need to start making sure I’m out around lunch time 🤣

Thanks Cassettes Stealth and supercali for confirming that I am not a nasty person. Without sounding too mean he really did sound very odd on the phone, and clearly had no self awareness. He just started talking as soon as I said hello, and didn't take any notice when I said that it wasn't a good time to call. Bullet dodged there I reckon.

It must be a busy time on POF as I have had about six messages this afternoon. Most are either not my type or too far away, but there may be a couple who look promising. I'm not naming them yet though.

@StealthNinjaMum @LilyRose88 yes it helps strengthening the muscles down there

Wait.... there's a cougar bench?! I need to move my butt from the smitten bench to the cougar bench - budge up! 😬

Mr camper likes to chat on the phone as well as message but he always texts first to ask if convenient - it's just good manners 🤷‍♀️

vwman sadly there are a few men that can’t seem to master the ‘making it last longer’ technique

lilyrose maybe lots of guys had a lonely easter and are now wanting to quickly arrange something for the next bank holiday. I have had lots of men looking at my profile in addition to B from B* who stalks me everyday and x*10

How big an age difference does there need to be to qualify for the cougar bench? Is 6 years younger enough? I really want to be on a bench!

11 years here 🙋🏼‍♀️

Stealth I will look out for those profiles as I think we are in the same county. Yes of course the bank holiday weekend is approaching. That makes sense.

Hi guys.

I've got date #2 with Mr Teach in 10 minutes. Not really feeling it but will give him a second shot.

I almost have the opposite problem here...MrSAS lasts...and lasts...and lasts....

Not actually a problem yet though

@Lovemusic33 If LTR I'd consider fronting it out for a while to see if things could be improved with a bit of time, but a FWB arrangement where he's getting his rocks off in 2 minutes and you're plugging in a love wand as soon as he's left - no way! I'd send a "I'm sorry, but this arrangement isn't working for me - wish you all the best" message.

Looupdate it is very tempting to say something rude about your date with Mr Teach, but I am trying hard to be adult about it

Sunshine I like it to last, Mr SA used to go for way too long though 🤣🤣. I’m not a fan of the quickie, it gets boring and I get nothing out of it.

JeSuis edging you say. I will be busy with Google tonight! I do have a slight suspicion that I know what you mean, but will double check tonight.

Love no need to make sure you're out around lunchtime if you just make it clear that this is not what you want and therefore it ends here.

Hi everyone. Well I am out of the country for work. Just catching up from the airport.
Keeping a few irons warm but non shouting out at me. No time to date now for about 6 weeks but that’s ok I need a break

I think after a few days of quite honest and lovely chatting with Mr Big he might have fallen out with me. I messaged him yesterday saying I find it really rude when he just drops out of a convo (when messaging back and forth quickly) and I havnt heard back from him since. I am surprisingly not bothered I think he is actually more confused about what he wants than I am and I cannot be doing with him blowing hot and cold anymore. I am the damn prize! 😂

Love I agree with Cassettes it is time to tell him that it is not working for you. He sounds a bit entitled - just dropping round when you said you were busy, insisting he didn't want sex and then having sex with you! He must realise that you are not getting anything out of it if he only lasts a couple of minutes.

Marlboro sometimes you just have to say what you think, and see where it gets you. If you are not bothered what happens with Mr Big then that tells you a lot.

lilly I am a bit bothered but if I wrote up the pros and cons of him the cons would be massive! I know he isn’t a real iron and I told him what I am looking for and he said he wants the same but I didn’t dare ask if he wants that with me! But it’s out there now.

It does really frustrate me when you are having a proper messaging convo with someone and they disappear so I thought fuck it and told him. I wouldn’t put up with it from a friend so why should I put up with it from him?

Anyhow blah blah. I will no doubt get drunk later and retract my bitchy message 😂

@lilyrose88 just cooking dinner but will message you when dc are in bed. I do have a fan club who view my profile frequently (a couple every day) and wink at me. There's nothing really wrong with them (although B from B doesn't understand punctuation) but just not my cup of tea. I don't know if it's a Match thing but HairyArsedMan* also has a fanclub of regulars too.

love I also agree to doesn’t sound like the best FWB!

Does anyone have a real long laster sex wise? Mr Big lasts for hours. It’s amazing (for me) and he seems to really enjoy it BUT I do worry that I am not doing it for him. He does always errrrr complete 😂 but I do wonder.
Is this edging? Does he watch too much porn? Do I have a wizard sleeve? (Others I have dtd with have all been much quicker and smaller than Mr Big so I am thinking it must be him not me??)

@Marlboro Yes, MrSAS can go for hours too. Sometimes with a break, sometimes he’ll erm, complete but then go again straight after. I also worry sometimes that I’m not doing it for him but he tells me he loves having sex with me and gets really turned on so I’m hoping it’s not me!

Monday evenings and Tuesdays are usually busy times for me and the only reason I haven't yet sent Ant330 my profile to laugh at review. Only just caught up with the thread!

As expected, my match from yesterday hasn't replied, with two hours to go. He seems to live an hour and a half away, although he was up the road when the match happened. That keeps happening! Can I add to the Thread Park one of those big boards with a map on it, and a huge red arrow saying "I am here not there"?!!!

Today is the four month anniversary of my last date. I have red wine and vegetable crisps on the Bench of Invisibility. All welcome if you can find me...😭

I like it to last for ages sometimes but also I like a fast, urgent, hell yeah! session. Variety is everything