Was I a beard?

[Guardsman18]

This is probably going to sound strange. A Pp said about her BF and people commented that he may be asexual or gay.

I am so upset because I can see (I think) that is what I've been for all these years.

If anyone has the time or inclination, would you ask me questions and then I'll answer? I want to be wrong. It's not an ama honest. I'm so sad.
Thank you

Yes, that'll be the one @Allsortsofroses. Regarding the holiday - I probably didn't write it properly. Son sorted it on his own and was getting a cheap bus to London, then a long wait in Paris to wait for another bus or train etc. It would have taken about 50 hours (I think).

Father took him on very expensive train trip to Spain, saw him on a boat to the island, stayed a week in the resort and met up with him for return journey. As a parent I think it would have been a better call to help him get over his fear of flying rather than encourage what he did.

He's 21 now and is dong ok I guess. No gf or bf. It just makes me sad but I really don't think I can do anything now except be here for him.

Apologies if I've wasted posters time. As I said, I did try to delete my question. It was a low point. Thanks x

You haven’t wasted anyone’s time. We’re all here for you and happy to listen, advise or just be a friend. You will be welcome to come back and tell us what’s happening.
For what it’s worth, I think you are doing all you can. To be there for your elder son and to make sure he knows that it very important. And you’re doing that. You have to look after yourself and your younger son. You cannot pour from an empty cup.
I also think that your elder son will come to the realisation that the relationship with his father is not normal. When he does he will need your support and if you keep strong , you will be able to be there for him.
You’re not mad.
I wish you all the best and hope that things work out, which I really think they will, given time.
X

Totally agree with @Nevercloser
You’re definitely not wasting people’s time @Guardsman18
Come back whenever you need to

Thank you so much for your lovely words. I can feel the kindness in them. It means a lot x

I can only speak for myself but I believe that everyone else wishes and hopes that you can find peace in this awful, difficult situation.
At the risk of repeating myself, I want to say that the only thing you can do is be available for your eldest son, whenever he needs it. I know you will be and I think he knows that as well.
I hope and pray that things work out for you and your son.
Please keep posting. We will all try to help. But even if you just need to vent and don’t need advice, that’s fine too.