Would you email the other woman?!?!?

[purplepoppet]

Help! I'm so hurt & angry..I have started another post (previouse one - Advice Please, husband blaming me for going off with another woman)

I have just found out that this woman is back on the scene again and they have been emailing each other constantly and recently seeing each other...

He has completely fed her a load of bullsh*t as he has done with me...god there's so much, I wouldn't know where to start!

The thing is, I'm so hurt & angry...this woman made our life a misery over christmas and during the time we were trying to make it work...now she's on his case again and what makes matters far worse is that he's snivelling to her about how he only made a go of it with me because of our daughter...and that his happiness didn't come into it

Anyway, I'm rambling, sorry...been up all night and felt like I wanted to email them both to put the record straight and let her know what a lying, cheating, b&st&rd he is!!

I realise I'm very upset and don't want to do anything I regret...should I email them both and have my say, or should I somehow just let it go and let her realise for herself??

Help!! So frustrated, but then on the other hand, don't want to stoop to their leave iykwim...

i think ur feeling sorry for him because you can actualy see what he has actualy done to himself through being a wanker.......you have the dd and a lovely place u can actually call HOME,you have dignity, feelings and a consience........something he doesnt have and all he has is the bit on the side and we all know that its going to tits up

Oh I do hope it does goes tits up

I think you're right, I have far more in my life now than he does...I have my 3 gorgeous children (the youngest is his), I'm moving soon so it will be a fresh start for me and the children, I have very supportive family & friends and you MNers..what more could I wish for

im just glad that its making u feel better about urself,you are getting stronger each day, u look back on the other thread and the beginning of this one to the top of this one and see how far you've come emotionally x

No doubt I'll crash and burn again at some point though...I feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster at the moment. One minute I'm strong, next I'm a wreck, then I'll be sad, then hurt...blimey, it's exhausting!!

I do understand what ur going through honestly, me and dp split up for a while a few years back, and although we split up before he started dicking around it didnt matter to me, i still felt as hurt as i would have had he cheated (he told me 3 days after he left he was sleeping with other ppl......nice}but really u know that u cant do anything but sit this out and pretend that every time u see him that your life is fabber than ever

PP you are being normal for wanting it to be an illness - i too thought that and to some extent it was/is. The thing is whatever it is called depression mid-life crisis they still have to admit it and get help. There may come a time when he does ask you for help. Mine did and when we look back on it now he too can see that he was not in his right mind. There seems to be a desire for self-destruct mode with most of these men it is not an excuse but it seems to happen an awful lot. It could be to do with work in that they dont see the full impact on what they are doing. Anyway just a theory.

Good to see you are being a bit more possitive. Whatever the outcome i am certain you will be a stronger person because of it.

The thing is though, even if he is depressed or as ill as he says he is, surely even that is no excuse for his vile behaviour, surely its purely just a case that he has the capacity to be a cheating lying devious bar steward!!

Alot of people get depressed etc (myself included), but don't go around wrecking their lives to that extent!!

Nope, decided there's no excuses really...

See I've swung again...

its just bullshit if he was serverely depressed he would have gone to the effin doctors, theres nothing on the nhs website that says screw another woman and shit all over ur wife as a remedy for depression

The thing is, as with alot of people we have always struggled financially..part and parcel of being a family with 3 children. However, when this pshyco bird got her claws into him, he felt (and he admitted this too) that all his christmasses & birthdays had come at once, because she was, in his words, 'showing him affection, buying him presents, saying what he wanted to hear'. She also had her own house, flash car and lots of cash...far more than we have ever had. He was given this opportunity to start a new life with lots of 'things' and 'luxury holidays' that he had always wanted...so he took it, not giving a second thought to his wife & children he was walking out on!!

Therefore that just makes him a self obsessed, shallow, materialistic, lying, devious, bar steward!!

Oh suezee, that made me giggle!! lol

..plus severely depressed people find it very hard to function and he's been 'functioning' pretty damn well from where I'm standing!!!

goes to show how shallow ppl are, hes basically traded his family in for a few extra quid, he is a fcukin gigalo

Just looked up gigolo!! pmsl

Although, I have to say, he does reckon himself a bit...I think he'd be flattered if I called him that!! lol

I think the reason these men go back to the woman they dumped to "give the marriage another go" think that they might as well go back to a sure thing
I dont get why the dumped mistresses take them back - THAT surely is low self-esteem...

Maybe he does genuinely love her Maybe it's just as simple as that...he doesn't love me anymore..but then he reckons nothing wouldn't have happened again had I not told him to go! Maybe it would have, maybe it wouldn't..

Oh I don't know, I'm rambling again

its nothing to do with that, men are scared of being alone, they cant leave one woman without running into another relationship, and these whore bag women are making it even easier for them to just get up and go.she may think shes got the last laff at the moment..........little does she know

?????????????????so he only went back to her because you told him to go!!!!!!!!!!!!if he was that arsed he would have fought to keep you, not just walk out on you and the kids.......thats what it was all about wasnt it?????? you wanted him to fight for u,and if i can see it over a computer he must be fcukin blind

well in my experience, I found out about the affair and my H reaction was "you've ruined everything as I was going to stop the affair"

after 8 weeks, we had an arguement on the friday night & as hed been drinking, I caught him on his mobile to her
kicked him out the next day & he went str to her.

if she was that fabulous or they were that much in love, hed have gone day one. I truely believe that they go to the mistress cos they believe its easier than staying & trying...

I dont believe they really are the love of their lives.....Im sure some people do have affairs & its the real thing, but I bet they dont "try" at the marriage

hes weak & you are strong
you will see this one day - Im 20 mths on & still have bad days

concentrate on building a stable life for you & your children & dont bother wasting your energy on him

{{{hugs}}}

exactly suezee - both purplepoppet & I TOLD our Hs to leave & they went str to their mistresses - talk about 2nd best

i honestly do not know how these bastards sleep at night??????????

suezee you're absolutely 100% spot on...that's exactly what I wanted, all I wanted for him to take responsiblity for what he had done and to stop blaming me...thats why I said if he couldn't to that then we had come to the end of the line.

I thought he may have fought for me, that's exactly what I was expecting him to do if he was serious about making our marriage work....but he didn't...instead he ran decided to start up relations with her again!

That's a good way to look at it MM, they're definately 2nd best!!

Is the woman with the nice house, nice car and all the cash still of childbearing age? If so I'd bet my bottom dollar that she wants children and will discover in her own time that life with children leaves you more tired, more broke and with a more "practical" car. And all this with a man who can't cope with normal life. Rather her than you purplepoppet!