Would you email the other woman?!?!?

[purplepoppet]

Help! I'm so hurt & angry..I have started another post (previouse one - Advice Please, husband blaming me for going off with another woman)

I have just found out that this woman is back on the scene again and they have been emailing each other constantly and recently seeing each other...

He has completely fed her a load of bullsh*t as he has done with me...god there's so much, I wouldn't know where to start!

The thing is, I'm so hurt & angry...this woman made our life a misery over christmas and during the time we were trying to make it work...now she's on his case again and what makes matters far worse is that he's snivelling to her about how he only made a go of it with me because of our daughter...and that his happiness didn't come into it

Anyway, I'm rambling, sorry...been up all night and felt like I wanted to email them both to put the record straight and let her know what a lying, cheating, b&st&rd he is!!

I realise I'm very upset and don't want to do anything I regret...should I email them both and have my say, or should I somehow just let it go and let her realise for herself??

Help!! So frustrated, but then on the other hand, don't want to stoop to their leave iykwim...

Hi Sugarplum!

Thanks for asking..I'm not too bad at the moment actually. I went to the doctors as I just wasn't coping very well at all and I needed to do something as it wasn't fair on the kids if I crashed & burned. After my awful PND I was well aware of the signs...she gave me a nice high dose AD and they seem to have started to kick in now...they are really helping and I'm starting to feel like my old self again.

DH is denying that he is involved with this other woman now...plus I had an email from his mother yesterday telling me not to text or email him anything that would upset him because he's had a complete breakdown! . Not sure what she was implying but I certainly took it that they felt it was my fault! No doubt he has given them a warped version of the truth.

What upsets me most is that neither her, nor him have even asked how I am or if I'm ok...it's like they've cut me off now and I'm just left to get on and fester again like I did last time

...how are you doing?? You ok?

hi pp sorry about mil but they can be right bitches where their ds are concerned. As a mum of 3 ds i hope im more understandingt o both especialy if i have gc involved.

Glad you have ad i took them once for nerve damage didnt do a think for me!

Anymore news from h at all? Is he still denying his with this woman? typical man.

I hope you this all works out for you i know the pain is so hard. But remember if he does come back that is just as hard. you can forgive you just dont forget.

I have updated on my situation on fab and glam thread.

I am out and about as its such beautiful weather and kids drive me nuts if i stay in although they drive me nuts if i go out with them! But i get on when i can so i will be around eventually if needed.

I have to say, I'm a bit p*ssed off at the moment to be honest. I apologised for reading his emails - which I did to make myself feel better as I wasn't proud of doing it, so felt it was the decent thing to do, to apologise for my part in all this.

He said, 'thanks, that means alot to me' To apology, no are you ok, no kiss me arse, NOTHING!!

Now he's acting all friendly and as if nothing has happened!! What's all that about?!?!?!

I just don't get it!!!

Be careful and remember your gut feel. Unless he truely 'understands' how you feel you will not be happy because you will be looking for reasurances that he will not want to give because he thinks he has nothing wrong.

Hope that makes sense.

I couldnt get hold of my H this morning and i have had 3 fantastic emails from him as he knows i worry if i cannot get hold of him. And it was only for about 10mins anyway!!!

That will make sense if you know my story by the way.

Hi hurtwife...yes, I do know you're story, sorry you've had such a hard time

I know exactly what you're saying...he still feels he has done nothing wrong and has now managed to lie his backside off and convince his parents the same!! It's unreal!

I just feel so betrayed by them all

As long as you know the truth that is all that matters

Yes you're absolutely right. I seriously need to find a way to detach myself now and move on...it's completely doing my head in

Help!

I'm really struggling at the moment Why can't I just let this all go and move on...it seems to be torturing me all the time and I just can't get it all out of my head

I'm a mess. I started smoking again when all this happened, but I'm now trying to stop again. I'm on AD's but can't seem to stop drinking (far too much) wine of an evening. That's not helping how I feel I'm sure and no doubt is affecting how well the AD's work.

I just feel totally useless and completely out of control I'm not surprised dh felt the need to bugger off with a newer model

Small steps pp

How about finding just one thing to achieve each day. Make the list thing - it does work. Jot down a couple of things you really want/need to do today and then do them before you allow yourself to think and 'wallow' in it all.

You feel crap because you feel as if you have lost and are feeling like the victim (which is ok) but you need to turn this around and you will feel better.

Dont be too hard on yourself you have to grieve for the loss of the relationship and as we all know it can take a long time. Youa are not going to get over this suddenly but slowly and at your own pace.

I once spent a whole week just wallowing in my own self pity and just crying and screaming it all out. I felt exhausted at the end of it and still had to carry on but i did and slowly i am rebuilding my life.

hey purple.......havent been on under this name for a bit, just wanted to change so u knew who i was x.there is no quick fix for healing all the hurt,and i know how shit u must be feeling,but u need to start thinking about urself.........remember that he doesn't deserve u anyway.He didnt have the balls to fight for ur relationship together, dont waste anymore tears on him.The whore bag bitch will love that ur still wallowing in pain and hurt.The best revenge for this man will be for u to get on with ur life and show him you can function fine without him, and that you will NEVER in a million years want to be with him again

i honestly know its easier said than done, but deserve to be happy,not miserable.

PP

I feel for you, very much and what I am going to say will sound harsh- but it's meant well.

It's time to stop wallowing in self-pity. It's time to ditch the ciggies, the booze and the ADs. It's time to get your life back- but no-one but you can do that. All the posts in the world from us won't help- unless YOU really WANT to change things.

It is not hard- just don't buy booze, don't buy ciggies- get to the dr and get nicotine patches instead- and ask about starting to cut down your ADs.

Just go to the phone and make an appt to see your dr - do it today!

You can either let this man control how you feel, or you can take control yourself- it's up to you.

None of us can choose what life throws at us, but we can choose how we respond to it.

I haven't read all your posts and I don't know about your kids or a job. But youneed toget out of the house. I have seen other people suggesting courses etc- now is a perfect time to start- everything starts in Sept. Contact your local college for a prospectus and see what takes your fancy.

You CAN change how you are feeling, but you have to decide that is what you want to do. You might also benefit from counselling- again, yur dr might be able to refer you via the NHS or many places do cheap cunselling where the counsellors are qualified, but still getting more experience under more experienced counsellors. Contate Relate for details.

Good luck.

Harsh, but true Gordiegirl2

I'm feeling quite pleased with myself...I haven't bought or had any ciggies today and I have no wine in the house...feeling a tad better than I did earlier.

Thank you all loads for your support.

Hi new to this websit, but need to talk. 10 months ago my h left me for a woman 12 years younger to live with her and her child (is it his?).Left me with two children to bring up. He is also blaming for everything now, his family has turned against me as they are listen to his lies. He is agreesive and abusive to me and yet after 20 years I still love him and my decree nisi comes through this week and I feel devastated.Cry all the time and cannot see a future. Want to move on but do not know how too!!

foxalina treat yourself to your own thread that way we can all focus on you and yours, not being cheeky but things can get a bit mixed up. But isn't it strange that lowered libido is a symptom of clinical depression. Bizarrely all these bumsforbrains get increased libido in their so called depressed states . How many of them have actually been diagnosed, I wonder?