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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Would you email the other woman?!?!?

241 replies

purplepoppet · 16/07/2007 05:37

Help! I'm so hurt & angry..I have started another post (previouse one - Advice Please, husband blaming me for going off with another woman)

I have just found out that this woman is back on the scene again and they have been emailing each other constantly and recently seeing each other...

He has completely fed her a load of bullsh*t as he has done with me...god there's so much, I wouldn't know where to start!

The thing is, I'm so hurt & angry...this woman made our life a misery over christmas and during the time we were trying to make it work...now she's on his case again and what makes matters far worse is that he's snivelling to her about how he only made a go of it with me because of our daughter...and that his happiness didn't come into it

Anyway, I'm rambling, sorry...been up all night and felt like I wanted to email them both to put the record straight and let her know what a lying, cheating, b&st&rd he is!!

I realise I'm very upset and don't want to do anything I regret...should I email them both and have my say, or should I somehow just let it go and let her realise for herself??

Help!! So frustrated, but then on the other hand, don't want to stoop to their leave iykwim...

OP posts:

suezee · 17/07/2007 10:06

dont feel ashamed about sending him a song.....shame u cant hack into his emails,just forget it happened and get on with things x

sugar34plum · 17/07/2007 10:09

it does get better

sugar34plum · 17/07/2007 10:32

they are all at it! just phoned insurance to tell them new address with g/f and girl on other end said oh i know this one going through it myself!! Thay should all be castrated

Original poster

purplepoppet · 17/07/2007 10:40

Shocking isn't it sugarplum...you bearing up ok though?

OP posts:

sugar34plum · 17/07/2007 10:44

having my moments! penny started yesterday (period) so im in a could mash his balls and grate them over spag dick right now but have my weepy moments too. When i realise the dream of the future we had together is gone and can never have it back. But life does go on and i will be happy again .And so will you and every other woman going through this.

How are you doing?

mistressmiggins · 17/07/2007 10:49

the fear is that your planned future has gone

you now have a different maybe better future

I am 20 mths on & still have bad days/moments but it does get easier

regarding Eidsvold comment on the appearance of her ex....my H is now fatter than he ever was with me. He always had good haircut & now frequently turns up with it looking scruffy. If that is what being happy does to you, shes welcome to him

Original poster

purplepoppet · 17/07/2007 10:51

I'm struggling I have to say I just still can't believe how he could do it to me, AGAIN!! I think I'm still in shock!!

OP posts:

sugar34plum · 17/07/2007 10:58

this is 2nd time i have known of other girls but have found texts before that he always explained away. And i was stupid enough to believe. My h is a complete charmer with the gift of the gab.

If it was raining outside he could convince you it was beautiful sunshine and you were merely imagining the rain.

I have been the biggest twat but im wide awake now hurting like hell. But im determined i will get on and i will be happy again.

I have to admit i wish i had more rl friends but trust is an issue. As even up my dc school there are women who have had affairs with their friends dh.

But we have mn which is a blessing! Couldnt get through some days without it.

suezee · 17/07/2007 11:04

i dont understand y they always end up smellin of roses, and these dirty slag women shud be hung drawn and quatered.....they have NO shame

mistressmiggins · 17/07/2007 11:12

I only have MN because I dont like to admit to RL friends that sometimés Im still struggling - it makes them worry & get angry with H & I dont want to burden them

eidsvold · 17/07/2007 11:23

poppet - it was a moment of weakness. Just let it go and tomorrow or today( your time) is another day. Don't dwell - easier said than done I know.

Leati · 17/07/2007 11:28

Hell yeah I would. I would make sure she knew everything that SOB was telling me. You both should dump him. Or if you are the vengeful type go have your own fling or flirt ruthlessly with somebody he can't stand.

sugar34plum · 17/07/2007 15:08

thing is she wont believe a word of it anyway!

suezee · 17/07/2007 15:11

yeah shes too far up his arse to realise hes feeding her mounds of bullshit..........dont worry he will shit on her like hes shit on you then she'll be sorry

sugar34plum · 17/07/2007 15:13

thats it and when se is left really shite you can laugh because you have moved on

suezee · 17/07/2007 15:17

exactly.......its called karma,it turns round and bites like a bitch

Original poster

purplepoppet · 17/07/2007 15:54

Do you really think so...maybe she is the perfect woman for him who knows...would be nice if he someday did really regret what he's done..at the moment, he's still blaming me...it was my fault the first time and it's my fault the second time..this is the latest, (his words) 'nothing would have happened if you'd have cheered up and tried to help me, but instead you always wanted to keep punishing me' I didn't want to punish him, I just wanted him to accept and take responsibility for what he'd done and not keep blaming me.

Apparantly I always took him forgranted and he's so ill with depression and I never helped him...

Therefore, all this is my problem!!

OP posts:

sugar34plum · 17/07/2007 16:10

near enough what mine said. i pushed him away i couldnever give him what he wanted! Too frigging right i couldnt he wanted an open marriage on his part. Maybe its me ah? but i dont think there are many women who would allow h to sleep around as and when it suited him and be ok with it?

Original poster

purplepoppet · 17/07/2007 16:24

oh my god that's outrageous!! I certainly wouldn't be happy with that kind of relationship either and I don't think there's many woman that would!

OP posts:

sugar34plum · 17/07/2007 16:32

at least someones on my side. when this all hit his mums bf said to be let him have a couple of weeks fun then he'll come back to you! wtf???

Honestly the thought of being alone is not appealing dating is not appealing but beeing in a shite marriage is not appealing either! Help!!! lol

Original poster

purplepoppet · 17/07/2007 17:33

You see now this baffles me!! Why is it that a man is excused of this sort of behaviour because its his natural instinct to sow his seed!!

I know how you feel...the thought of meeting a man ever again fills me with complete horror!! Don't think I will ever be able to trust a word a man says again!!

However, I have been told that in time I will feel differently and if the right person comes along I won't feel like that...

Mmmmm, not convinced myself!

OP posts:

sugar34plum · 17/07/2007 17:53

no it will happen. been here before me and h split up for 7 months and i did date again. Some horror stories but some good too.

Just right now cant see me at that point but will happen. Will for you too.

suezee · 17/07/2007 17:57

"mens nature to sow their seed" bet u a cheating man made that theory up, bollock brains!!!!!!!!!!!!

Original poster

purplepoppet · 17/07/2007 18:09

lol

OP posts:

hurtwife · 17/07/2007 18:20

at least you have some smiley faces now. It is slow going but you are doing so well.

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