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Original poster

Unexpectedly pregnant very early on in relationship!

286 replies

penguinsmarching · 22/04/2019 22:33

Earlier I took a test (more like 5) and well I'm pregnant. I'm not sure how to feel, I've only been with my bf for a few months, I already have two DD's and never really saw myself having anymore. I just can't believe it, I'm on the pill but I was sick over a month ago for quite a while, perhaps that effected it. I've yet to even tell my youngest that I'm in a relationship, oldest knows but hasn't met him, the rest of my family haven't either some know about him some don't. Then there's telling him, I don't even know how he'll react

OP posts:
CaptSkippy · 22/04/2019 23:39

OP, why can't you see yourself having an abortion?

NoHolidaysforyou · 22/04/2019 23:45

Congratulations OP Flowers

Considering you have a 20 year old, I would guess that makes you an older mum. I would keep the baby but I would also plan to be a single parent. You have another 8 year old, so you already know how to make ends meet. I think you'll be able to handle it. Don't listen to some of the judgemental people here, you never know who is behind a keyboard and just gets off on being a troll.

GabsAlot · 22/04/2019 23:46

noone sees themselves ever having an abortion sometimes things happen though and its noones choice but yours but you have to weigh up all pros and cons

Penguincake · 22/04/2019 23:48

Congratulations on the baby. There is never a perfect time to be pregnant but you can make it work. You have done it twice before. Deep breath, tell the boyfriend and your 20 year old and start planning for the precious arrival.

Rose87777 · 22/04/2019 23:49

OP huge hugs to you for your surprise news Flowers

I have my own ‘surprise!’ baby asleep in the next room and I totally relate.

Those saying “shrug, op, why aren’t you considering abortion?!” This isn’t just a trip to the dentist or something.

Bless you OP I wish you all the best xxx

Ellenborough · 22/04/2019 23:50

I’m appalled at women outright telling a woman she has no business doing anything other Han having an abortion.

Not ONE SINGLE person on this thread has done that. NOT ONE.

PregnantSea · 22/04/2019 23:52

Wow, the amount of people on here pressuring OP into an abortion is shocking.

Don't let yourself be pushed into something like that OP. Do some soul searching and do what is right for you. If anyone IRL tries to pressure you into an abortion I'd drop them like a hot potato

CaptSkippy · 22/04/2019 23:56

I am shocked at the amount of people here congratulating OP with an unwanted pregnancy and a difficult situation. Do you also congratulate the people in your lifes when they have the flu?

Asking why someone feels they can't do something is not the same thing as suggestint it's easy. It's a sincere request for more information.

agnurse · 23/04/2019 00:02

If you do not want a baby and can't see yourself having an abortion you might consider placing the baby for adoption.

Rachelle11 · 23/04/2019 00:04

I'm another one who would also suggest adoption if you do not feel you want another child but abortion is not the right path either. Can you meet with a counselor to talk over all of your options?

OneDayillSleep · 23/04/2019 00:08

This thread is pretty nasty, some of the comments and posters telling op to get an abortion like it's a none event are horrible. Some people don't believe in abortion, some people just know they couldn't live with having had one, everyone is different who knows what op's stance is.

I say it's completely up to you whatever decision you make, the ages of your children and different dad's shouldn't matter. The main thing is whether you actually want another child and whether you can support another child financially should the dad not want to be involved?

WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 23/04/2019 00:13

Again I cannot see where anyone has told the op to have an abortion
People have said what they would do in that situation. I really don't think those telling op 'awwww it'll be okay bbz all u need is luv' are being much better tbh. The op doesn't work and will be relying on handouts in a time where quite frankly there are none. Encouraging irresponsibility and a child with no say growing up in hardship doesn't make you morally superior

GreenTulips · 23/04/2019 00:19

This child is your choice and your decision
I really wouldn’t fancy that conversation and it must be terrifyingy!

My friend did something similar and they are still together 14 years later

Sad how we all put money before babies

WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 23/04/2019 00:21

Its called being responsible @GreenTulips

Food heating clothing etc are all part of a child's basic needs as far as I last remember and don't pay for themselves
I've got a whole lot of love for my three but funnily enough that doesn't cut it when I try and pay British Gas with it

Ellenborough · 23/04/2019 00:34

Sad how we all put money before babies

Let's not be too quick to knock those who do. They are the ones who make is possible for those who don't.

DoctorDread · 23/04/2019 00:41

In your situation op m, personally, I'd consider a termination. But that's me. You're you, so really no-one can advise you because only you know how you really feel!

MattFreisWeatherReport · 23/04/2019 02:09

I’m really struggling to get my head around how you just literally found out today and yet in spite of all the reasons you’ve given us why this should have come as an awful shock and a massive problem, you immediately say you think you’ll keep it. confused I think maybe you ware not being entirely honest with us, or yourself.

Stop being a cow to the OP, Ellenborough.

@penguinsmarching I think I would feel the same in your shoes. It's one thing to be shocked, even appalled, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you're comfortable with a TOP, nor that it would be the right thing to do for you.

If you've only just done the test today, you're probably not ready to make any decisions just yet. You need to think about this some more. Do you have someone in RL you can talk to? A friend or maybe your DD20? Your mum? Do you feel able/ready to talk to your bf? His reaction may help you become surer of your own feelings. If your pill failed a month ago, you have a bit of time to play with here. Don't rush into anything until you're less shellshocked. And don't listen to the pearl clutchers here. Flowers

TakemedowntoPotatoCity · 23/04/2019 02:33

I'm largely pro choice but encouraging a woman to abort when she has not made her mind up and indicates she would like to continue with the pregnancy is despicable.

WhyTho · 23/04/2019 03:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

youknowmedontyou · 23/04/2019 03:23

@howmanyleftfeet you'd ban posters with a different option to you? Go get a fucking grip!

FWIW OP you have a lot to consider, mostly your existing children, it may be foolhardy to continue!

youknowmedontyou · 23/04/2019 03:24

A "range of opinions" is not the same as telling someone to terminate. If you can't see how wrong that is, there's not point trying to explain it to you.

It's not wrong, some people are pro choice!

CJsGoldfish · 23/04/2019 03:26

Some people need to calm down.

The OP was always going to continue this pregnancy, that couldn't be clearer, so no need for so much angst.
Did you really not know how sickness can affect the pill OP? Wow!
5 mins together is the best time to decide to have a child right? Always ends well, I'm sure.
Time to tell the kids OP. Perhaps the baby daddy as well. Good luck with it all.

user1457017537 · 23/04/2019 03:37

Not every woman would terminate a pregnancy. Why should they

FoxFoxSierra · 23/04/2019 04:17

Wow there are some disgusting responses on here Hmm

Op I think I would speak to the father first and work out how active a role he plans on playing/how involved you want him to be and then work out your next steps from there. It sounds like you have made your decision so congratulations and good luck Thanks

Suliemantra · 23/04/2019 04:41

I really don't think it's despicable to suggest that someone who already has commitments to existing children as well as a relationship which is very early days should seriously consider not continuing with an accidental pregnancy.

Op I have a friend who decided to continue in a similar situation. It is an absolute disaster.