Unexpectedly pregnant very early on in relationship!

[penguinsmarching]

Earlier I took a test (more like 5) and well I'm pregnant. I'm not sure how to feel, I've only been with my bf for a few months, I already have two DD's and never really saw myself having anymore. I just can't believe it, I'm on the pill but I was sick over a month ago for quite a while, perhaps that effected it. I've yet to even tell my youngest that I'm in a relationship, oldest knows but hasn't met him, the rest of my family haven't either some know about him some don't. Then there's telling him, I don't even know how he'll react

I’m appalled at women outright telling a woman she has no business doing anything other than having an abortion. It’s a very personal choice, one that is her right IF she so decides but comments such as ‘3 kids to 3 dads I wouldn’t go ahead’ are unhelpful and judgey. Good luck OP, I hope whatever decision you make is the right one for you.

In your situation I would terminate.

There's always time if things get more secure.

Oh look at the comments on here. @Ellenborough why don't you shut up eh?

penguins, FWIW I got pregnant very early on in a relationship. 11 years later we're still together and have 2 DC (second was planned!).

As the relationship is so new, if you go ahead you need to be mindful you may end up going it alone - but then again, that's true of any relationship, and it's not a forgone conclusion for this one.

I’m appalled at women outright telling a woman she has no business doing anything other than having an abortion

Me too. AIBU is full of small minded arsehole waiting to pounce on someone and judge them, these days. But telling someone to have an abortion is a new low.

I'm reporting them now. If it was my website I'd ban them!

Its not a disaster

Well that’s a matter of opinion. It’s not looking great from here.

And no I won’t shut up, Avenger I’m as entitled to an opinion on this as anyone else.

OP Maybe it's not ideal timing but tbh is it ever? Congratulations and go with your gut :)

Ellenborough is the voice of reason and someone told her to shut-up. Good lord. She's asking sensible questions.

Your body, your choice, your responsibility to support another person in every way for the next 20+ years.

Bloody hell, some people are vile.

OP I understand how you feel. I don't want a third child either but I know that I could not ever have an abortion. In a choice between inconvenient third child or abortion, the (future) child would win every time.

Some people don't agree. That's their right be it's absolutely every woman's right to choose, no matter which choice she makes. It is hers and hers alone.

Good luck OP.

Reporting? Are you fucking serious. This is AIBU. What do you think the OP expected, if not a range of opinions on her situation?

She’s given several reasons why having a baby is less than ideal, she’s said she didn’t see herself with more children and she’s asking if she’s being unreasonable.

I’m not sure some of you know how this works.

Ellenborough is the voice of reason oh FFS, she comes with a fan club too, does she?

Telling another woman to terminate is despicable. I don't think she has a clue what being reasonable is.

I’m not sure some of you know how this works

I've been here over a decade, I know very well how it works, thanks.

A "range of opinions" is not the same as telling someone to terminate. If you can't see how wrong that is, there's not point trying to explain it to you.

I'd not continue the pregnancy but on MN it's completely verboten, it's all 'you'll never regret a baby' and no thought for already existing children and financial support.

Aibu at its vilest. This is a pregnancy we are talking about with all the emotions that come with it. A would expect most of the babies in the world would not have been born if the parents had been practical about it
I got pregnant at a bad time and I kept my baby and have no regrets at all
Go on relationships Op.

howmany show me where I told the OP to terminate.

Gosh I can’t believe the amount of people telling you you shouldn’t continue with the pregnancy!
Yes it’s a surprise and a shock but if your gut instinct is telling you that this is right for you then go with that! You know yourself best. Other things, telling people etc, are tough but will work themselves out. A close friend was in a near identical situation (short term relationship, other kids) and it has all worked out very well. I hope you take your time and listen to yourself more than anyone

it's all 'you'll never regret a baby'
Actually I would say it’s the other way round on this thread. The main seems to be terminate oh and while you are at it get back to work

You need to think very carefully about how this will affect your existing children, e.g financially and in terms of your attention

How long is "a few months"? (Have you been dating for 2 months, 3, 6 ?) I find it hard to believe that you didn't know that being sick would likely make the pill ineffective. Presumably you have missed your period and your first thought today has been to take a pregnancy test. Perhaps subconsciously you were wanting to get pregnant?

I doubt this thread will be here in the morning, so good luck OP with whatever you decide

Well, frankly, Drifting, in an era of Universal Credit, cutbacks and continued austerity, financial support of a child is a serious consideration.

Still waiting for toomany to show me where I told the OP to terminate.

howmanyleftfeet I'm not a member of anyones fan club. I'm not a follower.

The OP was here, on a public forum, asking for advice and/or venting. No one can TELL a woman to abort their baby.

Someone needs to be the grown-up and speak-up when people are ruining not only their own life, but the lives of their children and the life of some man they hardly know.

My view is that if you are going to terminate, or want to explore that option, the sooner you do it the better, as the procedure will be more straightforward for you medically.

Your body, your future, your choice. Best of luck.