Positive signs you’d found a keeper.

[Whodafeck]

Inspired by another thread.

Small things, or maybe larger, that meant you knew you’d got a decent caring person.

I’ll start.

On our second date.

I’d made a balls of flights and ended up coming into a different airport. He drove 80 miles each way to pick me up and took me to dinner.

Fourth date. Got up at 5am to drop me to an early train. I was going to get an Uber or walk (it was only a 5-10 min walk).

He always has a hot water bottle in the bed for me when I've been on nightshifts.
He also cut up his favourite tshirt to use as a cold compress when I had a migraine mid moving house.

My DH is a locum so moves jobs a lot and without exception whenever I meet his new colleagues someone (usually a woman) will tell me “he is SO proud of you!” - we work in the same field so I think he must be boring them with tales of my success

Also I was whinging on Instagram once that I felt poorly and my slightly ‘woo’ aunty commented recommending various lotions and potions. I thought nothing of it and hadn’t even realised DH has seen it, until he came home with said lotions and potions that he had tracked down and bought for me.

Turned up on my doorstep the morning after our (very boozy and late) third date with flowers, coffee and a muffin. He knew I had plans and couldn't spend any time with him that day but he still travelled 90min each way just to bring me coffee so I could face my family obligations sans hangover! It was a small thing but it meant so much and he's replicated the same kind of selfless compassion on a huge scale ever since.

On a more serious note, he took three months off work to care for me and our daughter when I had severe PND and never complained once, even though it caused him loads of grief. He never gave up on me even when I had given up on myself completely.

After our second date he had planned a romantic meal for us I work from home and the afternoon of the date I had a knock on the door and he had sent me a huge bunch a flowers with a note saying he can’t wait to see me tonight. He now buys me flowers or chocolates or a small thoughtful gift on the date we met every month (cringe for some but I like it) we’ve been together for 4 years! He is so supportive, loving, romantic and caring :)

6 months into dating, he bought me a car....(was only a little banger to replace my dead banger, and told me he'd rather I pay him back this small amount that go get one from Carcraft and spend £1,000's on one that wasn't worth the price tag)

He was put on 8 weeks of night shift and he'd spend his weekends awake for nearly 24hours, just to see me for a couple of hours.

It's our 6 year anniversary on Sunday and I couldn't think of my life without him

How I know my guy is a keeper....

I hate being a passenger as it all looks wrong and I get anxious we'll crash, so he drives at 40 just so I feel safe.

Is generally strong and silent, calm, gentle and affectionate. Sticks up for me, says sorry when hes wrong.

So respectful in my space.

We play rugby together, I tackle him and he stands there taking it, then grabs me and tumbles me onto the sofa or whatever.

Drives two hours to see me every weekend and still cooks when he gets here.

Painted my flat for the tenant. Shifted the furniture.

Is fabulous in bed. Genuinely values my orgasm first, then sorts me out with a good seeing to. Is a big rugby player type with huge arms, chest, wrists, legs etc, so wonderful to cuddle up to and just yummy.

It's been just over a year and I dont know what we'd do without each other. Both of us were abused kids, well he was neglected I was abused, and we've found each other now and that's that.

I'm selling my flat and he's working all hours to build up a share of the deposit. We've both got something to aim for now. And we have days out all the time and he puts up with me looking everything up and then going on about it.

I love this thread. It gives me hope

One of the earliest things was when we were at the pub with mutual friends, and the one who introduced us was being a real dick. Saying things that would upset the rest of the group without directly attacking them. DH and I hadn’t been dating long but he knew the other guy was getting to me, and he spent the whole evening distracting me by being annoying. Banter, kicking my chair etc. Sounds silly but I enjoyed every minute of it and the other guy’s nonsense was just forgotten.

For Christmas on our first year together, he bought be a really nice necklace, but while buying it he knew that being pretty clumsy I’d feel like I couldn’t wear something that nice very often, so he also bought me one that was also nice but far cheaper (silver rather than white gold) to wear the rest of the time, and wrote the tag as though it was from my cats. He didn’t live with me at the time, but he’s bought a gift from the cats every year since.

He had to walk a mile to the train station, then get 2 trains and walk another mile to see me. He done that 5/6 times a week for a few years until we cld drive.

If I went to his, he wld always get the train back in with me, see me on my final train home and then have to get another train back to his.

This may sound stupid, but on an early date, there was a dead bird on the ground and he moved it out to the side of the pavement so it wouldn't get trodden on.

Admittedly, he does laugh at the fact that I am so easily impressed (though I didn't tell him I was impressed by his respect for dead birds!).

When I moved, I got a second-hand Ikea cupboard and he helped me put it up. Three screws of a particular kind were missing so we couldn't finish. The next day, he cycled out to Ikea (about 45 mins each way) to buy the screws so we could finish the job.

Has his daughter 50/50 and misses her when she's not there. Is kind, forgiving and generous with his time to neighbours, family and friends.

Not known him long, and there's no such thing as "keeping" someone, but like others, this is amazing after 20 years with someone who never once thought to offer me a cup of tea.

You’re right to pull me up on my use of keeper.

My ex never knew how I liked a cuppa and never made me one either.

What a gorgeous thread.
Babdoc, your DH sounds wonderful, and your post made me first cry, then hug my own DH tightly in recognition of how fortunate I am. Huge hugs to you too.

Weirdly, I knew my DH was a keeper when, on one of our first dates, we discussed pre boys relationships and he talked about his long-term ex with respect and fondness, without making me feel like he was pining or regretting anything. I just knew then that he was a decent man, and, while we have had our ups and downs he has continued to demonstrate this for over 20 years.

• previous not pre boys

Three months in (luckily he had met DD5 by that time- Pls mo judgment on that as there were reasons...) I was in hospital with quinsy and DD from 10am in morning as GP sent me straight to hospital after appointment. I had a 5yo, a raging temp and pain and only my phone and a semi charged tablet to entertain her. He went out and bought me new jammies, toiletries in case I had to stay in, then bought DD a car seat, came to get her and took her out for day, then once my parents finished work came and sat with me til I was discharged and drove me home. No idea how I would've managed DD on a ward all day if I'd been well let alone as ill as I was

Place marking to read later 😁 lovely thread

Love these threads! Have been with my husband since our late teens, we're now in our early thirties.
I've never been able to figure out how I got so lucky. He's handsome, funny, hardworking, and thoughtful. He's always looked after me.
And i agree with a pp- it's the small, consistent things that mean the most... making breakfast so I can have a lie in, buying me chocolate, turning on the electric blanket or the heating in the bathroom in advance for me (i hate being cold!!), letting me put my ice cold legs all over him in bed if i get in from work late...
and sometimes the bigger things: like the time i got suddenly acutely ill and he found me semi naked, collapsed and vomiting blood - doc recommended A&E and despite me being disgusting, he carried me onto the bed, dressed me, organised everything and whisked me straight to hospital... refused to leave me there, saying "in sickness and in health" and stayed sat by the bed all night long holding my hand and entertaining me.... I love him so bloody much! I try to be equally as thoughtful for him, I hope I am..
the only annoying thing is that he gloats about how much my parents love him, and how much the dogs love him, and it's annoying cos it's true

First date we met at a nice pub.

Near the end of our first drinks she popped off to the bar to get the next round. It sounds trivial but the number of dates I have been on where the woman just sat there nursing an empty glass or scurrying off to the bathroom to powder her nose come bill time was a pleasant surprise.

Oh and he gave me a car once we were both broke students- but he was less broke than me -and he gave me his old one when he was replacing it! That was a bit of a shock!

At the end of our first date "I don't want to leave you wondering whether I'll call you or not, so I'd just like to say now I'd like to take you out again, what are you doing Friday?". After so much dating fuckwittery I was so happy!

Two weeks later "erm, would you like to be my girlfriend?"

Six weeks later "Will you marry me? I found your mum's number in your phone and called her, she said it's ok with her".

Reader, I married him.

He knows how to calm the bees. He knows how to extract the honey into large jars for my toast in Winter. He knows how to press some beeswax into bars so I can waterproof my shoes. Oh and he knows how to distill honey into mead.

Hee'z a beekeeper.

OnlyFools - I want a Caramel Latte & Bacon Sarnie now

Dh has major phobia of soup but when I had flu, he made it for me.

Also when I had our first ds, it wemt wrong and ended in emergency csection. He never left me, hospital didn't mind partners staying so he spent 4 days sleeping on an arm chair on a hideous ward.

Mother87
I always want a caramel latte and a bacon sandwich