Positive signs you’d found a keeper.

[Whodafeck]

Inspired by another thread.

Small things, or maybe larger, that meant you knew you’d got a decent caring person.

I’ll start.

On our second date.

I’d made a balls of flights and ended up coming into a different airport. He drove 80 miles each way to pick me up and took me to dinner.

Fourth date. Got up at 5am to drop me to an early train. I was going to get an Uber or walk (it was only a 5-10 min walk).

He went for an HIV test about 6 weeks after we'd met, because I was ill and convinced myself he might have given me HIV! He knew his chances of being positive were approximately zero but went anyway just to reassure me.

About a month in I was feeling pretty insecure, and although things had been going well I noticed he hadn’t asked me when the next time he could see me was (this was over 24 hours after we’d last met up). I’m not someone who is clingy and wants to meet all the time but it made me feel like he wasn’t that fussed dating me if he hadn’t tried to narrow down when our next date was! It had been fairly even up until then btw so wasn’t like I was chasing him one sided.

Anyway I messaged and said I was getting the sense things were cooling a bit between us and that it was fine but maybe we’d be better off just being friends. He replied saying he was sorry to have made me feel that way and asked me to meet up soon.

I think we met the next day, we went to the pub to play pool and as soon as we walked in once we’d gotten a drink he said shall we go sit down? And we found a sofa. And he basically said to me that he was crazy about me, trying to play it cool as he didn’t believe someone like me would be into him and was trying not to scare me off, and he was sorry I’d taken it that way and he was very much into me and excited to see where we were going. He’d also brought me a gift as a congrats on the new job thing.

It sounds like a small thing, but it just really made him seem like a great guy to me, he’s four years younger (I was 28 him 24), still a student at that time, and I was kinda unsure about dating him very early on as I wondered if we were in different places (I told him on the second date I wanted to try for a family within the next three years and if that didn’t fit with his plans that was fine but I didn’t want to start anything with someone where we had incompatible goals). I dunno, it just impressed me that this 24 year old guy would have the maturity to not only acknowledge his part in the very minor issue but to be brutally honest with me about his insecurities, and that he was mature enough to address it with me face to face and take the lead on sorting it out so we were back on the same page. My ex had been a bit of a man child so I was kinda thinking what a great sign it was.

We’ve been together almost three years now and we’re very newly pregnant (five weeks! Anything could happen I know) with our first, very much planned child. And in the middle of buying our first home, been living together two years. He’s amazing and I’ve never been so happy or felt so lucky with any guy in my entire life. He’s the love of my life.

He texts me to say goodnight and to sleep well. Then he texts every morning to ask how I've slept and telling me to have a nice day.

I had an amazing man. Always told me I was most beautiful woman in the room even when I'd put on 5 stone after DC1.

Told me he'd never knows anyone as clever as me and supported me by working all the hours so I could start my own business.

He made me a cup of tea in bed every single day, no matter what time I had to get up.

He used to push DC2 for hours and hours around in his pushchair, even on holiday. DC2 was a nightmare.

He also used to give me the "good" egg if one got broken.

When I lost the weight and was a size 8 again he was so incredibly proud of me but still said he didn't mind what weight I was. He loved me whatever.

When I went overnight for work, I'd come back to a nice clean bed and wonderful home made meal with copious amount of chocolate. We'd all snuggle up on the sofa and be a family again.

Sadly he was also shagging everyone and everything behind my back for the whole of our 20 year marriage. He nearly destroyed me. :(

Sorry for spoiling the thread.

We’d not been together that long and I had to be in hospital for really sad reason, I thought he’d come visit around 7pm after work but he suddenly was there 6 hours early!! He’d woken up at 3am and gone to work then, so early, just so he got more time being on the ward with me.
He makes me cuppas and can tell when I need a cuddle, years later he’s just as lovely and caring.

20 years together and he works away most of the week (maybe why we’re still together 😁). He always leaves me meals for the week because I’m a terrible cook and will basically live on pot noodles otherwise!
He’s a good un

Lovely thread btw. I agree with PP, this should be required reading for the women on here who are putting up with nonsense from a guy, disinterest, wondering whether he likes her or not. Good men show you how much they value you, even very early on!

This is such a great thread, place marking so there I can see that there are still some lovely chaps around!

Thanks for starting op x

No 'buts'

Eg I like him but his laugh annoys
I like him but he is untidy

My DH is number three

The first two marriages were to men I had settled for. They had flaws ( I know I do) but as the years went on they became annoying.

Number three is different. Been together 15 yrs and I see no faults ( I know he has some though) ....just a man who is the love of my life. A person I would lay my life down for and know he would do the same for me. We are each other's best friends and spend all our down time together.

And I fancy him ....even though he is nearly 60!

Second date, I had a sore throat feeling generally sinus head and unwell, wevwere out for dinner, he could see I felt crap, paid the bill and went to mine, he made me a bowl of hot water and vaporub to steam with he went to chemist at train station and bought me some tablets, then rubbed my head till I fell asleep.

What a lovely change to read these stories, almost makes me want to be in a relationship again, well almost. Lots of lucky people out there.

He makes me laugh everyday . He expresses how he is feeling . He cooks and will be disappointed if I start cooking when I am home first . He will lay with me and make meLemsip every 4 hours as well as tuck me in , recently when I had a stinker of a cold . He adores the dog actually the dog adores him . Nothing is ever too much . Always always kisses me goodbye , when I have been an absolute cow . Always kisses me goodnight .

Never thought I would find anyone like that .
They’re out there .....

He leaves little notes in slightly odd places, knowing I will find them at some point in the day, the cutlery drawer, microwave, car dashboard, my beauty advent calendar was a good one, pocket of my coat.

I’d just got out of an abusive marriage so I’m constantly astounded by how wonderfully my new dp treats me (and he finds sad that I find it so amazing as he says it’s just how I should always have been treated)
Each month he arranges a surprise and takes me somewhere I’ve not been before. He sent me flowers to work when I had finished my first placement as a nursing student. He always brings me a bottle of water to bed when I stay at his. We always wake up and find we’ve been holding hands in our sleep. We don’t get to spend a lot of time together as we are both shift workers and have children that we haven’t introduced yet as we are taking it slow so he calls me every night to ask how my day was and talk about his. He proof reads my uni work. He knows how to help me when I’m feeling anxious. He’s just a wonderful person!

All of the above is what I’m going to hold out for when I’m ready to start looking around for a partner!
Lovely stories and lovely men

Name changed for this one, as it’s totally outing!

He is the funniest person I’ve ever met; nobody can make me laugh more than he does!
He’s my biggest cheerleader and encourages me to do things that scare me. He recently took time to help me learn to sing in a different style than I’m used to; hours in rehearsal studios patiently working with me.
He strokes me to send me to sleep, then carries on until he’s sure I’ve definitely dropped off.
I wanted a specific guitar with a very specific colour/finish...so he found a cheap one then took time to make it look right for me.
When a live action Disney film came out at the cinema, I really wanted to see it. He hates Disney but took me anyway...then sobbed the entire way home in the car because he didn’t know the story and he actually loved it.
He remembered when I told him about the first ever Fisher Price tape player I had as a kid in the early 80s and presented me with one he’d managed to find, along with the first ever album I’d ever owned on tape, for my birthday months later.
I had major surgery, so he took time off work to stay in the hospital with me from the moment he was allowed to be there until he was told to leave, keeping my spirits up, making me laugh, being ridiculous and generally just being lovely. When I was allowed home, he did literally everything (including caring for my cats, with no complaints, despite being very allergic to them!)
He’ll drive half an hour just to give me a quick kiss if that’s all we can manage some days.
He always, always sends me a good morning message when he’s not around. He tells me how much he loves me, and why, daily. In four years we’ve never even bickered, never mind argued.

I bloody adore him and feel very lucky!

Shaved my legs for me when I was 42 weeks pregnant and going to be induced the next day. My pre-birth depilación efforts had all grown back!
It's really the little things and this thread is a lovely reminder how much he loves and cares for me and how much love and care others receive and give too.
It's made me all glassy eyed.

Here

Thanks for all the kind wishes. I wasn't posting out of self pity or whatever, I was just so privileged to have been given 16 years with DH, and it's nice to still be able to mention him after all these years without him.
And I wanted to add to this lovely thread, to show that there are lots of decent lovable men out there, to help reassure and encourage women who are in abusive relationships - don't feel afraid to leave, thinking all men are just as awful. They really aren't! There are some absolute angels among the dross, if you have the courage to look.

Bertrand whilst I appreciate where you’re coming from, I was more looking for real life examples

This thread is making me cry so much.

I'm with my partner for a little bit over 2 years. Currently going through a patch where the sex is stale and dry and just lacking. We haven't had sex in over 4 and half months. That was the last time. Every time we try, it results in him taking his hand to himself. I feel like rubbish. It has knocked my confidence. I'm mad at him and I had my phone turned off for the past two days to avoid his calls and any whatsapp messages and Snapchats.

He brought me two big bottles of lucozade when I was sick. I was going through a bad time last year. My father was in debt and my dog died and he sent me flowers.

Our first date started with lunch and went on for the rest of the day as we got on so well. He went back to Paddington Station with me so I could catch my train home only for us to find that due to signal failures no trains were running.

I told him to go home as he had work the next day but he insisted on staying with me until my train eventually arrived (a couple of hours later)and he didn't leave until he saw me safely onto the train. That was seven years ago and we've been together ever since.

He has never said a mean or unkind word (we have argued but he NEVER gets nasty), he always makes me feel beautiful and valued. He respects my opinions and intellect. He gets on brilliantly with my grown up DS(and the cat!). He looks after me if I'm not well, he makes me laugh and I fancy him rotten.

On meeting him, my late mum said 'DareDevil, this one is a keeper' and she was right.

The first time he ever came over to my house it was pancake day, he gave me all the good pancakes and had all the bad ones. He still does it now.

I've just come out of an horrific three month stint of morning sickness where my DH, despite working 15 hour days sometimes, picked up the slack and took over everything. Pack ups (including one for me at home!), shopping, cooking, laundry, housework, childcare. The list goes on. That probably doesn't sound particularly amazing but none of my four children are biologically his, and he still did all this without question. He's very excited to meet our first baby together :)

For our first date, he drove an hour to meet me, then insisted on driving another half an hour to take me out for lunch.

I love wearing make up but sometimes I just can't be arsed. On those days he'll come in and tell me I look even more beautiful than usual.

When he gets home from work and I'm in the living room he gives me a great big grin through the window.

He bought a house big enough for us all to live in (me, him, my four children and our baby).

He loves his food but a few weeks ago he abandoned his dinner to wipe toddler's bum... The smell made feel nauseous so I ran to a different toilet where I proceeded to throw up all over myself and the floor, and piss myself at the same time. He rushed upstairs and cleaned it all up.

He's awesome x

He upset me when we hadn’t been together very long. He called me a nerd because I was excited about the new and final Harry Potter book coming out. I got quite upset (hey I was v.young and sensitive.)
The next morning he phoned me to come outside. Sulkily, I did and he was on my mum’s drive with the new Harry Potter in his hand. He’d queued up for hours and got it for me. Just remembering that has made me fall back in love with him a bit 12 years later!