Positive signs you’d found a keeper.

[Whodafeck]

Inspired by another thread.

Small things, or maybe larger, that meant you knew you’d got a decent caring person.

I’ll start.

On our second date.

I’d made a balls of flights and ended up coming into a different airport. He drove 80 miles each way to pick me up and took me to dinner.

Fourth date. Got up at 5am to drop me to an early train. I was going to get an Uber or walk (it was only a 5-10 min walk).

The big things are to show off to other people. The small things are just for you.

DH writes the most lovely messages in cards.

I really hope this thread gets put into Classics. So lovely to hear/read such nice REAL things when there's so much confusion and horrible/negative things going on currently.

He bought me pj's, slippers and a personalised mug for when I spent time at his house.

Delivers lunch to work when he knows I hadn't eaten or knows I don't have time (we work together but in different offices)

Came to my house on his lunch hour when I was off ill to bring me shopping and drugs.

Came and brought me chocolate just because I said in a phone call that I fancied some.

Gave up a free trip to races so he could do the school run for me when I was ill.

Runs me a bath with candles and a glass of wine.

Buys me flowers just because..

Carries bags/stuff for me

Took my son shopping for mothers day/birthdays/xmas etc as he knows my ex wont bother.

He is incredibly thoughtful and kind .....he can be a stubborn bugger though!!

He gets my favourite tea and milk in specially if I am popping in to see him (he lives in the next county).

He is a caring and involved 'step-Dad' to my teens, he gets up every Saturday morning to take DD to her dance class so that I can have a lie in.

He is away visiting relatives in his home country and has just been on a shopping trip to buy some local specialities for DS as he knows how much he likes them.

He turns up with random odd 'gifts' - just stuff for the house or unusual snacks that he thinks I would find useful/enjoyable - more touching than the valentines and birthday bouquets which are more of a grand gesture but he has to keep doing them too now as he has set a precedent

He helped me clear up a child's vomit. Keeper right there.

He didn't mind that I called him at 7am because I was freaking out about a giant spider in the bathtub, despite him being 600 miles away and being unable to do anything about it. He stayed talking to me until my flatmate got up to deal with the spider.

Our first date went a bit wrong- he turned up to the Wrong cinema so by the time he arrived we had barely any time for dinner and I’d booked ‘touching the void’ not realising he was going on a climbing expedition the next day but instead of being ‘oh shit’ those things were funny. Then we got a cab home and he was first drop off and he paid for the whole cab before he got out. The cabbie told me he was a keeper.

He also took on my own 2 kids and loves them as fiercely as if they were his own. He tells me I'm beautiful every day, he puts us before anything else and values time with us. So different to my ex husband who made me feel like a burden all the time. This man is amazing. I pinch myself every day. We are now engaged and expecting our first child together. Happy ever afters are possible!

If I look at something in a shop and say Oh that's nice isn't it, he will have his wallet out in a moment. I refuse 99 times /100 I should add, I'm not a gold digger! Showing genuine interest in what I'm saying. Giving me thoughtful gifts. Generous and caring. He's lovely. I try to spoil him too.

Oh yes. I try to spoil him too. His favourite drink and crisps are always here and I iron his shirt for him when he stays (this is a big deal lol I don’t iron).

He listens to me. Properly listens.

I went to the ladies when we were camping and it started raining cats and dogs and of course I hadn't taken a coat.
I came outside and there he was with a big smile and an umbrella!

Not shouting for help when he collapsed on the floor with a brain haemorrhage, “in case he woke up the baby”. He lay for half an hour before I found him, and got him to hospital, where he then became unconscious and died.
Driving 80 miles a day to take me to work in a different city to his own work, before I passed my driving test.
Hand making me get well cards and buying gifts when I was ill.
Coming into the hospital every night I was on call, to bring me a home cooked dinner.
Doing more than his share of nappy changing and baby care.
Rescuing me from my toxic parents and making me feel loved and wanted for the first time in my life.
As the minister said at his funeral “Even in death, he gave of his own self, that others might live” - DH had said in the past that he would be willing for organ donation, and his heart was transplanted to save a young patient dying of congenital heart disease.
So yes, DH was definitely a keeper. And irreplaceable. I can’t wait to hug him again when I eventually die myself, and am reunited with him!

Love this thread! Recently divorced (separated a year, his decision and I thought my world had ended.. god I was so wrong!) and at 28 I had hopes of meeting someone else one day but thought I’d be on my own for a long long time ... I’ve been dating someone a few months and it’s so refreshing... totally aware it’s early days but he is just so thoughtful.

Turned up at my house with a hot water bottle and pain killers and left them on the doorstep when I had to cancel a date due to Mother Nature rocking up. Good luck card and bunch of flowers for my first day at a new job are a few of the lovely things he’s done.

I really tried to push him away at the beginning, I’d only been single around 7 months and was so worried about people judging and commenting.. we’re still keeping things fairly private but I’m hoping one day I’ll be able to shout loud and proud about how special someone finally makes me feel.

First time I realised he was a decent sort, we’d just arrived outside the cinema when I realised I’d forgotten my unlimited pass. I was beating myself up about being such an idiot and he calmly said “no problem, we’ll go back and get it, don’t worry!” It was a revelation

After that we had a discussion about past relationships and I told him how my XH would check my shopping receipt and make me go back and claim any missed offers etc while moaning about anything that he considered frivolous (including orange juice!). One evening DP took me to Tesco and told me to pick whichever juice I wanted (plus other treats) and told me I deserve nice things.

He’ll often bring me random flowers and cakes, etc.

We were talking about extending my house to create a home office. I said I’d better make sure my business grows to justify the investment. He replied that money isn’t the only way to measure success and that if it made me happy it would be a good investment!

Most recently I’ve had some health concerns - he’s been very supportive, offered to pay for private treatment if I need it.

I suffer with low self-esteem and worry that he’ll find someone younger, prettier, easier etc at the best of times. Worrying that this illness could change me physically has been one of the most stressful parts. He sent me a message reassuring me that, just in case I wasn’t sure, whatever happens he’ll always love me and be there for me.

I think I finally believe him!

Badoc. Hugs. Your DH sounds wonderful.

@Babdoc Wow, my heart goes out to you. Reading that after posting my comment certainly makes me realise life is too short to worry about other people’s opionons. Sending you love and thank you for sharing xx

*Babdoc. Sorry

Babdoc your DH sounds wonderful.

He made me laugh so much, I snorted and nearly fell off my chair. Still does that, many years later! His sense of humour has got us through some bad times. He also changed his shifts at work permanently so we could see each other.

One of my friends was ill and I had to take her to A&E at 11pm. I said to my dh, fiance then, he shld go to bed and I can look after my friend. He said he'd come to look after me.

Babdoc, he sounds lovely

I'm as hard as old nails but your post brought a tear to my eye Babdoc. I live in hope I may meet someone as wonderful as your husband one day.

This is a beautiful thread and goes some way to restoring my faith in humanity. I'm usually found on the "I can't believe I spent that many years with a narcissist" threads.

@Babdoc your dh sounds like he was lovely. Sorry for your loss.

Mine once drove 17 hours home from Germany (where he was based) for one day to turn around and drive back the next because I had a rare Saturday night off and he wanted to take me out.

We went on a caravan trip early into our (now 20 year) relationship, he went out one morning and came back to happily tell me that he'd found me something!

It was a plug socket, in a disused barn for my hairdryer because the caravan didn't have electricity!

Lots of little things over the years, but what I really remember is when he carried me into the shower when I was seriously ill, washed and dressed me and looked after dd.

Currently pregnant and texted him saying I couldn’t wait to get out of work to buy a particular brand of doughnuts. He turned up with flowers and the doughnuts.

When dating I kept losing my contact lenses at his house. Turned up and he’d bought me the cutest little contact lense case to keep there, and cleared out my own drawer.

He hasn’t always been perfect but I do know he’s a good man and he loves me and our children.

@Babdoc what an amazing man. Feeling teary now