Positive signs you’d found a keeper.

[Whodafeck]

Inspired by another thread.

Small things, or maybe larger, that meant you knew you’d got a decent caring person.

I’ll start.

On our second date.

I’d made a balls of flights and ended up coming into a different airport. He drove 80 miles each way to pick me up and took me to dinner.

Fourth date. Got up at 5am to drop me to an early train. I was going to get an Uber or walk (it was only a 5-10 min walk).

[flowers]@Babdoc

Where to start ?

Came back from the pub with him, his housemate and an acquaintance of mine. I was sitting on the sofa with him next to me. He asked to stroke my feet. I agreed and was surprised/impressed he had asked. As he stroked my feet, I wondered what he could do with the rest of my body. A couple of weeks later I found out !

He took me to Paris for our second date.

He always had a bottle of wine ready when I visited him at his house share on a Friday, for the weekend. If we hadn't made plans we would MAKE plans. No gawping at the t.v. in silence.

Upon his return from an overlanding trip, literally a few hours after landing, he asked to see the church where we were getting married a few months later.

I always felt welcome in his life/in his arms. I never felt that I would do for now. In turn, he was Mr. Right. Not just Mr. Right Now.

After we had just got together, I was working out in the countryside for a month with a gang of other people and we were having a bbq one evening that you could invite partners to. He and a workmate's new bf turned up while we were still out working and only the cook and her helpers were at the house. Friend's bf went into a strop and sat sulking in the pub all afternoon; dh-to-be went out into the kitchen and helped with the preparations. When we got back he was playing volleyball with the cooks in the garden. I knew then I'd picked the right one.

We met while I was reeling after my marriage broke down. I kept him at a distance and he completely respected it.

I once had to complete a diy job that my disability made somewhat difficult. I mentioned this very obliquely, in passing. (Weeks before I had mentioned the disability in a separate conversation.) I didnt want him in my house/business and it didnt occur to me to ask him to help me. I was in that stage where I was trying to prove to myself that I could do everything alone.

Next day i went to see him for a shag and he gave me a toolbox fully stocked with brand new tools, including several that help me overcome the disability in the context of this specific task. He had researched the disability etc and put together what would help. He had gone so far as to visit some specialist tool shop to find things that were sized/weighted for me.

I was speechless and probably really ungracious. He loaded the toolbox into my car. I later cried all the way home out of a weird mix of embarrassment and gratitude.

I'm so happy that so many of you have met and love such lovely men.

If I had read this when I was with my ex, or in the two years after leaving him, I would have thought you were all exaggerating / deluded / papering over the cracks. My ex was good at pretending to be kind and gentle but he was not; he is very selfish, occasionally violent, horribly unreasonable and very controlling.

We separated and I dated deliberately casually for a bit - I met some nice men and I've had some really decent fwbs who've been kind and honest - but the kind of true honest lovely consideration, putting someone else first, really seeing you, and really showing up for you, that you lot are talking about here, was completely alien to me.

Then I met my guy about 9 months ago. He was a slow burner because I was not prepared for love, but he was incredibly patient and always kind. REading this thread now is a completley different experience from what it would have been been back then.

I really hope everyone with a crap guy reads this thread and believes it and bins the loser off.

I have health issues which have previously been used against me... Now I live with a gorgeous man who cooks for me, willingly, whatever I fancy. Has a constant rotation of chilled (reusable, so spends his time chasing them down from wherever I leave them 😂) water bottles in the fridge, and brings them to me to stop me getting dehydrated (I WFH and forget to drink). Sends me to bed and looks after me when I'm ill. Gets up with little one in the morning when he knows I need a lie in, instead of them lying in bed chatting/dozing so I don't get woken. Strokes my ankles/neck/back. Visits me in hospital for hours even when I'm asleep the whole time. Never whinges when I ruin plans/am bloody miserable and whiney. Gives the best cuddles. Runs me baths. Honestly he's amazing, he's not perfect but he shows me that he loves me with the little things every day ❤😊 after 2 shitty relationships it's even more important

Thanks for this thread op. Sick to death of the cheating ones.

He cycled for over an hour to get me a chocolate bunny for Easter that I liked (he didn't know theh sold Thornton s in Tesco over the road)

He also ran three hours (he is a n ultrathon runner, and he planned the stop into his training) to get me some naice chocolate in the next county over.

... I do like chocolate incase anyone is wondering.

He literally expects nothing of me, and I feel like a bit of a sponge sometimes. He s out the house for fourteen hours a day, at times comes home and the house a shit tip, and he'll ask how my day's been and make ME a drink.
Basically, he's never nagge d kr expected anything from me.

He brings me a coffee a nd puts it on my nightstand before he leaves for work.

He is the sole reason I was able to esca pe a very bad homelife (I genuinely doubt I'd be alive today if it weren't for him). I l iterally owe him my life.

Not all heroes wear capes!