Dating thread 155 - Spring lovin'

[supercali77]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Waving from the smitten bench Am bloody knackered as met with Mr BC at around 4.30 yesterday afternoon. Much shagging until about 9 am this morning. Resting now as seeing him tomorrow, 2 overnights (Saturday and Sunday).

LooUpdate oh god yes bullet dodged. What a twat! I'm probably 13 years or more older than you and I understand people have lives and commitments and don't answer texts immediately!

Life hope you're okay. MyOld I'd be suspecting married, too.

I think the messaging thing is a mind fuck. loo I'm not criticising you here but if I had forked out tickets for something and The arrangements hadn't been made till the actual day of it and someone didn't get back to me in a few hours, I would probably assume they didn't want to come. He's probably been ghosted before. It is totally irrational what he did and you have dodged a bullet - I wouldn't have sent that message but I probably would have arranged for someone else to go and assumed you weren't keen!

I'm one of those people that HATES not having arrangements all sorted out. I think women are generally more like this when they are resident parents to dcs as we are always constantly juggling when we are available.

mrdrummer I really think it's incredibly dangerous trying to message people who don't want to be messaged. I would actually say it's a little bit stalkerish. I'm not a fan of blocking and personally don't do it unless it can't be avoided but I don't think you should bother people who have actively blocked someone.

LooUpdate bullet dodged! The date was arranged, tickets bought. There was no need for him to throw a hissy fit because you didn't jump to his command.

BatshitCrazyWoman sounds great. I am jealous!
And WarIsPeace as well. Hope you both get a bit of rest.

I would probably assume they didn't want to come

But he blocked me, so I cannot reply? If he was genuinely pissed off he would want an explanation from me?

I've sent a polite text to Mr Probably Married just saying that I'm not sure what's going on. And pointing out the inconsistencies in his texting habits etc.
I didn't come straight out and accuse him of being married. Thought I'd see what he said first.

And this is where the multi-dating/chatting comes in handy. I've been exchanging a few messages with someone else on Fab. I think they're too young and too good looking for me. But he seems keen.
If Mr Probably Married disappears or can't provide a good explanation, then I'll try and arrange to meet Mr Way too Young.

Why would he want an explanation though? He's just wrongly assumed you don't want to come and thrown a strop! It's v immature. Can't think why he would want an explanation though as he's already decided you don't want to go!

It was me that suggested the date (actual day and location).

@LooUpdate it was what I was saying about the fragile male ego and inability to deal with rejection in a removely adult manner. In this case it was perceived rejection as he had not had an answer. The adult thing to do would have been to message "I don't want to hassle you lou, but I would really appreciate an answer asap either yes or no so I know what I am doing"

Pointless post but I'm just catching up with 'first dates' and I have a mahoooosive crush on Merlin 😛

The adult thing to do would have been to message "I don't want to hassle you lou, but I would really appreciate an answer asap either yes or no so I know what I am doing"

That would have been lovely and I would have apologised for the delay.

Such a shame (for him) as I wanted to jump his bones so bad.

Oh loo that is very frustrating!

I think he's blocked me on Facebook too lol. The man is determined. I thought he would have cooled off by now.

Nowt as queer as folk

Well I seem to have a date tomorrow! Coffee on the beach with Mr NVQ. He seems normal. I've reached a point in OLD where that seems the best I can hope for!

Another person has messaged me but his profile says he's looking for someone of Asian ethnicity, which I'm not. Is it worth replying?

I agree with the last minute arrangements frustration. MrPlumber messaged me at 9am this morning asking if we were still on for our date tonight, I replied 30 minutes later that yes we were, and I was looking forward to it, just let me know time and place, then nothing....4pm he phones me to say he'll pick me up from mine at 7.30pm. He's been doing his laundry, took his son to football etc but I would have loved to have known at 10am what the arrangements were!!

@DaffoDeffo

Point taken. I offered because LooUpdate said she tried to contact him via facebook, which I think comes across even worse, in the terms you describe. I think having a go at someone then blocking them is quite a passive-aggressive move though, i.e. he got to launch his attack, knowing full well he didn't have handle a reprisal. Meanwhile, Loo is left with the emotional damage from the attack, with no means of resolution other than "sucking it up". We are all adults, disagreements and misunderstandings do occur. Mr BMW judged LooUpdate for whom he thought she was, not by what circumstances she would find herself in. ie busy.

In terms of organisation in advance, surely it was organised? They knew where they were going and when, at least roughly. Other than agreeing an exact time and place to meet, it was sorted. I do get what you are saying about organisation, though. My last LTR was the worst because she had never had kids.

looupdate after one date his reaction os OTT and you do not at all have to explain anything. Block and move on, for all the reasons you list.

Don't we all have red flags to some degree?
Unless some one is being abusive /lying which obviously is a no, i'm trying to be more open minded.
I don't think any of my previous dates would have even heard of the phrase red flags!

Good luck putastraw, my date has been brought forward so i'm meeting tomorrow too

I did a swipe right mad few hours on Bumble and ended up with over 300 matches.
One guy out of all of them took my eye and I messaged him. He's not replied. Two hours left .....that's a sods law situation isn't it?
Pah!

I understand MrDrummer it is a passive aggressive move but remember we don't know these people. And by contacting someone to get closure or get the final word or put our side across, it's all about you in the way that them blocking you is all about them!

The grown up response when someone blocks you is to hold your head high and walk away!

And jesuis that drives me utterly mad too. I think we've had this conversation before . Just reading your post made me feel annoyed that he hadn't told you earlier .

@LooUpdate do you really share facebook details and connect on social media early doors? I would never do that.

I live a minutes walk from the beach in a major seaside town. this morning I went for a walk and sit and people watch and soak up the great atmosphere, did not take my mobile as I am not a slave to it, if someone had contacted me during those 2 hours I would not realise.

vwman it's not general messaging I think that's the issue but more confirming arrangements. I often turn my phone off etc but I just like to know arrangements the day before preferably. It's mainly because I have so much going on, I just like to fit the day around what I'm doing.

We exchanged fb details for verification purposes but didn't add each other until after we'd met, if that makes sense. I quite liked that, could check its a real person (and we had a mutual in common) but weird to add before dating has commenced imho

putastraw Mr NVQ sounds promising! For the other bloke, presumably he saw your pics but still liked you - I would give it a chance if you are interested