Dating thread 155 - Spring lovin'

[supercali77]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

fuck I'm so bad at replying to people. You would all hate dating me.

MrDrummer personally I like something to hang on to and I think I am not alone!

kerkyra agree with what pps have said about the love bombing

So I am meeting Mr Chicago.for drinks tonight - I am going out where he is (within london not a far journey) but he said can he help with travel expenses... I am trying to decide if this is nice or a red.flag!

Stealthninjamum this thread moves.so fast!!

@MrDrummer I don't mind a delay at all. But it's when they've read the message but then blatantly gone on to speak to someone else for a considerably long time 👊🏼

@DaffoDeffo
I agree, but as I don't multi date I find it quite rude. I understand that may be the case for them. But they'll sharp learn I'll walk away quicker than they left me on read

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking they'll learn the hard way unfortunately. They are on two strikes already for this. Once more and I will just move on with my life. Regardless of planned date.

ponyprincess I had a really busy couple of days and decided to read a book (recommended by mrdrummer) rather than go online and I have no idea what's going on.

The thing with me is that I don't like a lot of txting before a date, a few messages and then lets meet! Otherwise i'm collecting phone numbers and most don't turn in to a date. You get the 'morning hun' txts from complete strangers. Also a phone call I find pretty pointless as I get on with most people and I try and explain it's all in the first meet.

Mr Marvel is still txting away,says he maybe able to meet before car goes to friend later. I won't hold my breath.

I have met him...…..we met a year or two ago,he was at a bar but was dating someone. says he had hoped I was single and on pof and was made up when he saw I was.

hmmm,lets see lol

lifegoes I have the opposite problem. I'm trying to work (honest!) and Mr Exclusive keeps messaging me. He wants me to skip work and meet him. Not going to happen.

So I ignore his messages for as long as I can but as soon as I reply he pings me another.

@kerkyra that sounds promising about your date.

I do get that I don't want bombarded with texts. I don't have the time, but if they start the conversation, I find it rude if I reply and then left on read.

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking maybe I need to try this trick - working that is 😂

kerkyra agree about quick meets.. Just not sure about this 'can i pay your expenses'

Stealthninjamum reading and reflection is good!!!!!

myoldbrain contact is nice but my view is work more important than messages!

pony I think it's ok, bit strange but not a red flag. He is just being thoughtful?

kerkyra I will give him a chance but my radar is up!

Hope it goes okay with Mr Marvel

ponyprincess I work for myself and I'm usually alone so I don't mind the odd message.
What's bugging me is his insistence that I skip work to meet him. He's been asking for 2 days now. So far today I think he's got the message because he hasn't asked.
But he's also being vague about meeting one evening at the weekend.

myoldbrain I think if you've said once you can't skip work and he keeps persisting, I would be tempted to call it a day. There is nothing worse than men who won't listen to you and if that's a sign of things to come, you are better out of it!

myoldbrain sorry not to be up to date but have you met already?

I would be on alert if someone wanted me to skip work to meet in the day but was evasive about meeting evenings (but sorry if I have got the situation wrong)

Yes what daddodeffo said!

myOld what is it with these men. They obviously find us attractive but I feel like i'm being messed about.
I might be mega organised but I know my plans way in advance of the weekend!?

It's the vagueness i struggle with.

Have to just add,not sure if it was vw man but i did agree with a comment the other day. All my long term relationships have been from men who pursued me. There was no angst,they pulled out all the stops.

Haven't had a relationship where I've chased!

We've met once for a coffee. Got on very well. It's supposed to be FWB but he said he didn't want to meet anyone else at the moment.
We agreed to meet again at the weekend but he's keen to meet again sooner. Not going to happen!
He's all over the text during the day but very quiet in the evening. Supposedly because he's working.
I'm being very, very cautious.
If I had any other offers I'd ditch him and move on. But he's my only iron at the moment so I'm just seeing where it's going.

Okay, body image. I talked it through with someone on pm and it has at least made me at least desensitised enough to talk about it in public. (Thank-you). I think I have mentioned it before but not in relation to first time dtd.

I don't really have a weight issue as such, but I do have a loose skin problem which is exacerbated by stubborn weight. I can hide it pretty well under clothes, but there is no escape when DTD. And what worries me is the surprise element on the first time of DTD. Or maybe I am not giving my DTDers enough credit and they had it sussed all along. Nobody has ever ran away. Or they had the politeness to wait until the morning after.

kerkyra probably most of my long term relationships have pursued me too can't remember exactly, too long ago although I never played games and it was obviously mutual after they approached me.

I think guys increasingly want us to do the work and in theory I don't have a problem with that. But some are asking women to contact them in their profile

There's a guy who's been on my profile a few times recently. He seems interesting, fairly amusing and lots of things in common. But his final line along the profile is inviting women to contact him 'if only to chat but please don't be offended if I don't reply'.

What does that mean? I read it as 'contact me because a. I can't be arsed b. I am insecure and don't want to be rejected or c. I like the feeling that women are chasing me and I will never reciprocate.'

It just seems like there are a number of men who invite women to contact them and I don't get their motivation.

myoldbrain text in the day not evening.... For me that would sound like married man

Stealthninjamum sounds like he wants you to do the all work. For me that would be a no

@mrdrummer I'm sorry you feel like that and I would like to think it has never bothered any of your partners.

Most of us on the thread who have had kids have a loose skin problem rather than being overweight but I can see that it's more unusual for a man because you've lost weight. I'm a size 8 / 10 but have loose skin but you wouldn't know even when I'm in my very tight gym clothes. My fear is that a bloke thinks he has a thin woman and is very disappointed when I'm naked! I think I am coming to terms with it, I had a good gym session yesterday and am much stronger. I try to focus on that