Dating thread 155 - Spring lovin'

[supercali77]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

I'm 54 and did okay on dating sites. Wouldn't want to be with a twatty man who thinks a 49 year old is okay but not a 50 year old ...

I agree batshit. Men who restrict their searches like that are almost certainly not men worth having!

Good underwear always helps me feel a bit more confident. I have used very recent photos on my profile but I find that a lot of men use old photos of them when they were younger, slimmer, had more hair etc. Mr Builder had a head shot and described his body as athletic, when in fact he was very stocky and looked 9 months pregnant!

I would love to go on a run date as I do a lot of running, but most men in my age group don't run - and they all seem to have had knee injuries if they were previously sporty.

I have just realised that I guy I have matched and chatted with on Tinder this afternoon has lied about his age - he says in the text below his photos that he is in fact 23! That is a new low even for me! And I have my age on my profile so he can't not have noticed.

I too have a mum tum. I am self conscious about it but do manage to get over it to be able to dtd and in the moment I don't think about it. No man has mentioned it or run a mile yet!

My worst first date was a catfish (think that's the right term) there is no way the pictures were him and he was really creepy, made me feel SO uncomfortable I ended up going to the toilet and then leaving without him seeing! Left my best coat there too which hadn't been handed in to staff when I went to check the next day... so perhaps he took it home 🙈

@LilyRose88 yeah don't visit him. He'll pester you some more. It's fine to just message even if you've DTD. Maybe you focussed on the distance as you didn't want to feel bad about him?

Before my date turns up, ladies I need your advice.

This will be date #3 with Mr Author. The two previous dates were okay. I felt comfortable around him however couldn't see myself having sex with him. I'm hoping that spark will grow. He's the first person I met from POF.

Aside from luke warm sexual attraction, my other problem is that he does not pursue me as much as I'd like, leaving me to wonder whether he's that into me. He messages me about 2 times a day. It is possible he has been busy recently as he has a book coming out.

I've got very strong codependent tendencies and I fear I'm attracted to narcissists. I'm trying to change both of these things.

My question to you ladies is this: At the date tonight should I lay it on the line and ask him what his intentions are? I need a lot more pursuing than he's giving but is that my codependency speaking? I don't want to throw away a potentially healthy relationship here.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 well done on 6 days without smoking. Giving up was one of the hardest things I ever did. So go easy on yourself.

To all those still date free I reckon the sun and the bank holiday will bring out loads of daters. Watch that sap rise!

Mr Unsuitable is coming over this evening. So I'm happy and my sap is rising

TBH@LooUpdate it doesn't sound like you're that into each other! Sorry that's a bit blunt....

Thanks Peanut!

Have to agree looupdate doesn’t sound like there is much there on either side

Oh dear. I may as well enjoy the evening at least.

Why's he continuing to meet me if he's not interested? It's a lot more expensive for blokes to date than women. (Sorry but it is).

After date #2 there was a lull whereby I I didn't hear from him for about 36 hours. I finally summoned up the courage to say "Hey, you up for date #3?"

He replied: "Yes, and date #4 and #5. I really like you xx".

But his actions say otherwise. Arrrrggghh

Maybe he's just not much of s texter. That's pretty keen on my book.

Why is dating more expensive for men?? I always pay half...

I think he sounds keen @LooUpdate but I'm like you. I prefer actions over words and not texting for a few days would put doubt in my mind.

That said, he wouldn't say date 4 and 5 if he wasn't in to you.

I never pay a penny

looupdate if his actions are not matching his words maybe he is stringing you along as an option?

Face licking.. Ewwwww!!!!

The running date was actually quite.good! Mr Run is quite sweet and we were even able to have a conversation while running, and after. Just not quite sure what to make of his situation - he lives close to his ex but goes over there to drop kids after school and for bed time etc - nice that he is so involved with the kids but seems potentially still enmeshed with his new x though he says they have been separated 2.5 years (never married). He might be best left as a running friend

looupdate I also always pay half

In my experience, and I know people have disagreed with me on the thread before, the attraction never develops if it's not there in the first place so I would not bother continuing

That sounds too close for my comfort. How old are the kids?

looupdate you never pay a penny? Do you offer?

Daffo that's what I feared.

looupdate they are 4 and 11. I agree with you that I am not getting a good vibe with it. I like the 'good dad' aspect but seems a bit off he goes there, especially as he has his own place and it as been a few years since the split. Something does not add up for me

looupdate I would say that you should never pursue a man in the early days regardless of how you feel about him. Let him do all the running, believe me if he is in to you and the feeling is mutual he will. You can then gauge his interest in you and you get an idea of what he feels about you. By you contacting him you perhaps made him think that your feelings for him were stronger than they are which has encouraged him. Without that he perhaps would not have had another date with you.

For paying I always offer but every time for the first pay situation the date has 'insisted' to pay and then I say I will get the next round/coffee/meal and make sure I do

vwman Good advice, thanks. I should read more of WMLB. (Same advice). I feel foolish.

I've made a right balls of this date. I thought we had arranged a time and place but we had not! This will result in him being 90mins late (and me being half cut). Disaster!

I actually find dating seems to be more expensive for me. By the time I factor in fresh nails/hair done if needed, new outfit - or at least a new item and going halves on the date I reckon I'm much more out of pocket.

Now, please can I take a moment on the "undateables" bench to have a whinge? Since Sunday I have been : ghosted twice, sucked in by Mr ginger then found out about old photo, and found a guy who was really keen to meet up before his friend died then obviously wanted time to come to terms with it ACTIVE ON TINDER. oh, and I accidentally swiped right, just in case I didn't look enough of a naive desperate idiot already. Oh, and Mr ginger has been giving me earache about being shallow because no one else had a problem with his photos.

I can't lie people, I want to curl up in a ball with wine and sob. Fucks sake!!

@looupdate if youre lukewarm about him it can be a vicious cycle....but he's must be into it if he's paying for the dates??...maybe he just wasn't getting a keen vibe? But then as others have said....ive never felt lukewarm on sexual attraction and then had it grow unless I've known them years so I'd say maube cut it loose and find someone you have more chemistry with