Is that a red flag? Should I be worried?

[Crazygirl2019]

Hello. Apologies for such a late message but I can’t sleep - too many things on my mind.
I have been with my boyfriend for 16 months now and we have been living together for the last 4 months. The thing is that I haven’t met anybody from his side. He hasn’t introduced me to his parents nor friends.
When asked, he says that he likes to keep it private and I never actually get to hear a good explanation or a reason.
Should I just leave it as I don’t want to be seen as the one who is forcing the issue? On the other hand, it does worry me. Is a sign of a lack of commitment on his side?
What do you think I should do?
Many thanks in advance for your advice.

I am very upset but on the other hand I’ve never been so relieved at “being dumped”.

You did great by actuallt acknowledging the red flags and doing something about it - good on you!

In my opinion, I think you questioning him drove him to leave, how dare you question him

Sounds like you and your children are well rid.

I’m so sorry OP. What a turn out. But stay strong, he really is a piece of shit. Do not let him make you doubt yourself.

Have I thought how he would feel if he introduced me to them?

Say what?

I wonder what on earth he is hiding ? I think another family, or something very bad. Well done op.

Good for you, Crazygirl2019- onwards and upwards!

Well why didn't you tell us all that it was all your fault OP, you could have saved us all a lot of time and effort..

Seriously, I think it's obvious now why he has little contact with family and friends, although I suspect there is a lot of nasty stuff going over the years that he is attempting to keep hidden.

Please change the locks tomorrow, do not trust him one inch. Make him arrange a time to collect his things, and try and have a family member or friend there while he does it. I dread to think what the full story is, but well done on ending it / getting dumped!

I want to say another HUGE thank you to you all for taking the time to comment. It means so much! I will try to get some sleep - absolutely exhausted with all this today. Good night and God bless x

Night OP and hope you get a good sleep!

Tomorrows a new day :)

Sweet dreams

OP, you sound fab. You have your head screwed on. You deserve better

You're too good for him op. In future never let this happen again either

He would do shopping on his own and sometimes he would cook but I do the majority of household chores and cooking and I work full time as well.

Well done, OP, I hope you can get a good night's sleep.

OP what does he mean about how he would feel if he introduced you to them and that makes you a selfish bitch?
I don't understand.

Monty27, he was saying that I only think about myself and my own feelings and that it’s all about me and what I want (because I wanted to meet his family and friends). He asked me if I’ve considered his feelings and how he would feel about introducing me to them because apparently he is a very private person.
I don’t understand it either - it sounds like I was asking him to do a horrible thing!
Lots of things were said last night and some of them do not make sense to me but I am past that now. I don’t want to be involved with people like that.

I don't think it's even worth trying to get any heads around it is there?

But anyway

Good morning OP :)

Did you manage to get a decent kip?

Good morning, SparklyMagpie.
I did get some sleep thank you.x

Thanks again for the support x

Well there's private and then there is private.

Surely after being together over a year and living together you would think that he would be able to open up to you within that time?

I think you've had a lucky escape.

I hope you get the fresh start you and your children deserve and you can put this behind you.

Morning op, I was thinking about this last night, in reality it's quite scarey. You're getting no external validation this man is who he says he is.

I very much doubt this is him hiding you, I think he doesn't wish you to meet them as they may tell you something about him he doesn't wish to know. Be it kids he's abandoned, a crime he committed, but there is something so serious, he'd rather end the relationship than have you find out.

And that's quite scarey as you don't know what your living with. You need to get this man out your life and for good. Because there is something about himself he is hiding, and whatever it is, it's bad.

Morning OP. I’m sorry it’s turned out that he’s a total shit. But you are sooooo much better off out of this, he’s shown his true colours. Hope you’re ok

The man is an absolute lunatic. You are well rid.

Crazygirl2019 he just gets worse and even more alarm bells are ringing. There's something he's hiding and I hope you get to the bottom of it. Hopefully with the truth it'll help you move on quicker and happier

Gosh! Please protect yourself as much as possible. I have a feeling this isn’t done yet.

What a prize prick. I hope you have his stuff packed up and waiting outside the door so that he's under no illusion that you are going to beg him to reconsider.

Some people just don't bother with family 🤷‍♀️ if I was to get with a new partner they wouldn't be meeting my family either, it's really not that uncommon. However, I'd say a red flag depends on if he's shady, goes out on his own a lot, secretive about his phone ect then he might have another life. Or maybe he's had an Identity change and that's why, BUT that's probably REALLY unlikely.