Dating thread 154 - in which beards are encouraged.

[Crustaceans]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

bats I can see it would bring you up short seeing the ring, but at this early stage you probably need to not overthink and risk self-sabotaging this. Just talk to him?

What you said about your age and not having time to waste really resonated with me, especially as I think I'm older than you. I try hard not to fixate on time running out and the need to 'get something sorted' as it were. The fact is you can only go as fast or as slowly as your feelings and the opportunities that present themselves occur. Keep your eye on the prize, not on the clock?

bats my previous iron (who disappeared before our date which is usual for me) was a widower too - who had also lost his wife to cancer - flagged that he still wore his ring. I questioned whether this indicated he wasn't ready to date and he replied that he just hadn't found anyone yet worth taking it off for that's all

lovely update focus,sounds like you're both very happy :)

@Sunshineandflipflops

Unfortunately, I didn't make a clean get away, either. The real trick is get away without giving them a chance to acknowledge, so they feel it was truly altruistic and you bask in the satisfaction that you know you made someone happy, without having to see it. But, I did see him waving and beaming... ummm, in his beamer... so at least he was cheered up!

I felt good, he felt good, complete bargain at £3.10

Focus great update!

Strange Tinder moment.
Matched with someone at the weekend. They didn't message so I thought I would. No reply.
Last night I sent another message asking why he hadn't replied to my message or unmatched me.
This evening he replies "Weird isn't it".

So now what do I say? Or do I even bother

@MrDrummer what a kind thing to do 😊

myOld I wouldn't message. He didn't leave a question mark to invite you to reply

Next...!

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking

Sorry, that made me laugh. I think you should definitely respond back. It's almost a certainly a non-starter, but I love the guy's style!

No drummer,why waste her time,he isn't engaging in conversation!

myold the guy is being a sarcastic twunt. Don't give him oxygen by replying.

drummer still a lovely thing to do.

focus super! Dead happy for you

tooold depends what kind of mood you’re in. I think I would reply something sarcastic but not sure what..

Sorry I meant myoldbrain

Don't message him.

I replied - It's not weird. It rude or lazy. Especially when you're profile says you're looking for a relationship.

I have another match who super liked me. But hasn't bothered to message. He's ok but nothing on his profile so I'm not wasting my energy messaging him.
But why super like if you're not going to bother messaging??

Apologies for the bad grammar in my last post!

Good reply myold... I know it’s crap but I am still a bit amused by his reply

@Myold this is why I hate OLD. I have a tolerate/hate relationship with it as I do ultimately want to meet someone but it just seems to be full of time wasters.
One of the reasons I liked MrSAS’s statement in his profile which said “rules of engagement are if I match second, I message first, if you match second, you message first”. Very glad I did message first as I probably would have waited for him to otherwise 😊

@Focus2019 😍😍 so pleased for you.

Just had heart wrenchingly honest phone call from MrPlumber. He's got the feels for me but knows he's not in a position at the moment to give me the kind of relationship I want and deserve. He wants me to continue dating to try and find MrRight, but when he gets himself sorted could he be considered for the position if I've not found anyone. I could cry he is so lovely, but the timing is just shit for both of us. We're supposed to be meeting next Friday night for a sleepover. He knows I've got a date this Saturday and I've had to tell him if it goes well I won't be seeing him for anything except a coffee as it's not fair on MrCornish. He says he understands and doesn't want to step on anyone's toes. Why are these men like buses - nothing for ages then a couple of good ones come along at once. May as well toss a bloody coin, I've no idea what to do now. At least don't need to decide until Sunday, MrCornish may turn out to be a disaster. 🤷‍♀️

I've got my date tomorrow night with MrStone as a distraction at least - spicy meat balls and pasta are on the menu apparently 👍

Marlboroandmalbec34 tbh his reply did make me smile. At first! Then I decided that if he couldn't be bothered to make an effort, I would call him out on it.

Sunshineandflipflops I'm struggling to get anyone engage in conversation with me. Which is making me less tolerant of time wasters and shit behaviour.

Gosh JeSuis , You're in a great position,all these lovely irons :) You're being honest and straight with them and I just think follow your heart. You will know in a week or two whats what but in the meantime,enjoy

@JeSuis Sorry to hear that.
I honestly believe though that if you are right for each other, you will both make it work regardless of timing.
Hopefully the other two dates you have lined up will be good ones.
How do you all find the time to go on so many dates?!

@MyOld It shouldn’t be a struggle. You are worth someone wanting to spend their time engaging with you x