Dating thread 154 - in which beards are encouraged.

[Crustaceans]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

@Lollyjack Could be a fake profile. Did he appear in your view list too ? I thought the floodgates had opened the other day with 2 views on PoF but both were advertising some sort of hot cougar site no, not mumsnet

@BatshitCrazyWoman I think this is down to the individual. I am widowed but we were separated at the time. The ramifications ultimately doomed the LTR I was in at the time, but that is different. I think 2 years could be plenty for somebody, a lifetime is not long enough for another.

bats two years is a fairly long time, he may well be ready to move on. How long was he on Fab before you met? That might suggest where he is?

I am a tactile person. couldn't be with someone that didn't want to hold hands / hug / kiss etc.

hairy - I'm getting a few of those all of a sudden. Not falling for them though!

@hairyarsedman yes on my view list. Lots of pics from different places nice profile xx

I’ve had lots of fakes so learnt to spot those (I hope) I just need to stop matching with the wrong ones now 😒 xx

@Lollyjack Maybe just give it a bit of time then. I know I've got a couple of lingering messages to reply to on Match and while it should be as easy as posting here, it's not

Thanks @hairarsedman I will do that. Just a bit cautious now after the last one who fooled me x

Dear all, thanks for advice re. Mr Peru, he is heading off next week on hols so giving me a chance to think, his words, its been 3 dates! I explained that in a week nothing will have changed and that I will, potentially want to message other men. How is it possible it got so serious so quick?

I haven't message Mr Mill yet...

Lolly I have had a couple of men favouriting me on match, I message as a response and some have not responded, my messages are, in my opinion well thought through and prompt so slightly frustrating. Very new to this OLD think I have a lot to learn. But must remember I am doing this for fun and any negativity will be blocked!

I agree I must remember that too this is supposed to be fun not stressful xx

Well at the ripe old age of 40, I went for my first sexual health screening today!

I’ve been intended to go since I found out my husband was a pathetic, cheating scumbag but it’s taken 15 months to pluck up the courage.

I have no worries, more for peace of mind. Now for a 1-2 week wait 🤞🏼

Hi sunshine, do you phone your gp for a screening Appoitment? I'm hoping all is well, I have had a smear recently which was all clear. Sorry you husband was a scumbag - mine was, just the once though....but it was with my best friend who was babysitting at the time...my dh and I got back from our night out, I went to bed and they both stayed up and had sex. I suppose if he could do that there may be worse? Anyhow a long time ago now and determined to have fun and not dwell on the past.

I messaged Mr Mill on WA to see if he wanted to chat, he did a week or so ago but at that time I was organising to see Mr Peru so explained that I needed to focus on one guy at a time. Anyhow he read the message and has not responded. This was a couple of hours ago, mustn't get obsessive!

@Matched I booked an appointment at my local GUM clinic. The half hour in the waiting room wasn’t much fun as everyone knows why everyone else is there but once I was in it was fine. Although a little bit uncomfortable now from the self swab...don’t think I got the angle quite right as I was rushing 😳

Sorry to hear your ex was a wanker too. And with your best friend?
I have to laugh really as the OW has ended up with him. She is 28 and child free and he is 41, with two pre-teen children, the snip and an angry ex wife. What a catch.

Sunshine: Glad we can both laugh about the past, no point in dwelling, the best revenge is to have an awesome life. I am happy at the moment with work, my kids and potential dates!

Thanks for sharing GUM experience...sounds a bit awkward but as you said everyone is in the same boat!

Are you dating at the moment? Lots of irons? Trying to get going with dating language, apologies if I go wrong somewhere!

@Matchedandmuddled I'm on Match too. At the start loads of guys favourited me and when I messaged me they rejected me. It's so annoying! I think they probably favourite everyone they see whereas I have only favourited 4 men and 2 of those were by accident.

Thanks for all your thoughts on Mr BC - what made me think about it was the fact that he was wearing his wedding ring last night ...

I'm going to see how things go - I'm beginning to feel at my age I don't have time to 'waste' on someone who just wants a few months of fun, and nothing more serious. I don't really know what 'more serious' actually means to me though 😕

batshit did you ask him about his wedding ring? What’s his story with his wife?

matched if he could do that with your best friend whilst you were in the house I dread to think what else he could have gotten up to. What a total twunt.

I self swabbed at the Gp after my smear test. First time for me too, in my mid 40s!!

Off-topic...

So I was sat in Starbucks drive-through, and I looked at the guy in my rear view mirror who looked absolutely miserable, so I figured I would pay for his coffee, to brighten up his day. So I said to the kiosk person that the guy in the car behind looked miserable so I would cheer him by paying for his coffee. They cheeky barista said "I will tell him you said he looked miserable" to which I replied "yeah, do that!". So I paid for it and drove off, looking in my rear view mirror, anticipating the little piece of joy I would give him... only to see that he was driving a BMW and then I instantly regretted my decision.

@Matched I started dating in June time last year, so about 6 months after the separation. I started on Match and dated a few men I met on there but I found that I was mostly getting messages from men I juts wasn’t interested in and also that most of them were also on the free sites like Tonser/Bumble as well so I was effectively wasting money!
I hated PoF, not too keen on Bumble as I don’t like the messaging first thing to be ignored and the guy I am dating at the moment was my first Tinder date!

I can’t personally do multi-dating so just the one in the picture at the moment but he has got my full attention at the moment 😄

I’m not sure I’m ever going to meet anyone with long term potential via OLD but I’m having fun for now x

@MrDrummer what a lovely thing to do! That kind of thing never happens to me and even if he was driving a BMW, you still might well have made his day.

Me and MrSAS we’re chatting about getting together over Easter weekend as my kids are away with their dad and he asked when I’d like to go over. I said when would you like me as I’m free Friday-Monday and he’s just said I can stay the weekend 😱

If anyone has been following my escapades over the weekend I stayed at his (with my new tote bag!) and the man is like a Duracell bunny. Part of me is now excited that he wants me to stay all weekend but also scared for my body 😂

This thread moves so fast. lifegoes I will be disappointed if you meet twat head 😉. Although I'm surprised he's persisting. Either way, have your guard all the way up!

As the subject came up earlier today on the thread... I messaged Mr Guitarist the other day telling him not to replace me before we met 🙈. To which he replied 'says the serial swiper' (in reference to my swipe right to everyone night). And I said that I was only talking to him at the moment. Anyway. Today I messaged asking how Tinder was going (as he's new to OLD) and he said he hadn't been talking to anyone but still addictively swiping. Don't get me wrong, not bothered if he's swiping/talking but should I not have even mentioned it to begin with? Sorry for the long post; I'm clearly overthinking 🤷.

@ItsA I’m of the opinion don’t ask unless you’re prepared for the answer!

MrSAS said yesterday that he wasn’t having Sex with anyone else at the moment but I couldn’t bring myself to ask him if he was still chatting to others as i’d rather not know if the answer is yes!

Notcool I didn't, no. I only met him a week and a half ago! I think his wife had cancer

Bats when I read your earlier post I thought if he says he's ready then he's the best person to judge that, but still wearing his wedding ring would also make me question that.

However there could well be more too it, such as his wife would have wanted him to move on, therefore wearing the ring is symbolic of that. You should ask to allay your concerns, I'm sure he wouldn't be surprised if you asked and is probably happy to answer.

Hi all I've almost been too scared to post as don't want to jinx things but I've met someone and we're both crazy about each other - I honestly never thought this would happen. We started talking about 3/4 weeks ago had a couple of cancelled dates then met. Between the second and 3rd I totally fell for him. We are a pair of smitten kittens and are totally soppy something both of us have never been like with previous partners.

The first two dates were nice but nothing amazing to be honest but then it just happened. Our 3rd date lasted 27hrs and only ended as I had to catch a flight lol.

All I will say as from the first message there has never been a doubt or the need to question or think too much. It just feels right for both of us and it's easy.

So I'm hoping my time dating is over but I will keep an eye on the thread as I'm rooting for you all.