Dating thread 154 - in which beards are encouraged.

[Crustaceans]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

marlboro things with Mr S feel good. He is newly separated and has been cautious about why he is able to offer. But he seems to offer a lot. Frequent texting. Regular dates. Doing more than just shagging and being generally kind and nice to me. This could all end badly couldn’t it? But right. Is it feels really good.

Very jealous of your Paris trip crustaceans although sad it didn’t start as expected.

*what he can offer. Not why.

Yes!!! Fun fun fun! It's getting to me. The sex is great but I'm getting fed up with the moaning.

notcool all of our dates could end badly, that the risk we take putting ourselves out there but it sounds good with Mr S

stealth where? I am north too. I wanna come perv on him too 😂

peanut is it worth it?

matlboro it was an unfunny joke to throw the woman off the scent of she's lurking. I'm not really up north. Still staring at beardy man as my phone battery is going to die soon.

Marking my place. My previous misery 're seeing iron on bumble. Him saying was old and deleting but then communication going a bit wonky....is all sorted. Dejected for no reason. Saw him last night. It's all fine. I never realised this before now but I think I may be quite an anxious dater. Have decided to take a more relaxed approach from now on...lets see how that goes!

Haha sorry I am too shagged out to engage my brain notcool

Marlboroandmalbec34 I've just matched with a stubbly, 6ft 6 bloke.
Wonder if it's the same one??

Could be myold unfortunately we are 5 messages in and he is boring me already 🙈

Phew, all caught up. Note to self, don't go to work somewhere that has crap internet connection for over a week, and not expect almost two threads worth of postings...

Welcome to all the newbies! a better bunch of supportive people you will not find. Even some of us men are quite helpful''

Has bats left the building? Well done you!

Lots of people having lots of dates, and some having lots of sex and I'm not at all jealous Well done all!

I'm back from the wilds (and snow!) of Scotland, and down to one iron - Mrs Yogi-not-a-bear. Am back on the apps, and starting to swipe

Marlboroandmalbec34 I'm east of England. Whereabouts are you?
I'm only 2 messages in with my Mr Tall. Nothing exciting so far.

I have made it to Paris (well CDG). I’m on the RER making my way to actual Paris.

MrSG has shaved (based on the photo he sent me last night) so he is not sporting any slightly gingery stubble whatsoever at the moment. He might be quite beardy by Sunday though (it grows very fast indeed).

Negative is hard to put up with @Peanuthedz. My ex was a total vortex of doom about everything; it was exhausting. I’m quite optimistic (even happy go lucky) by nature, so it just didn’t work at all. In any way, actually not just general disposition.

myold I am Yorkshire

Welcome back man4all

crust have an amazing time!!

Gosh you're a chatty lot!! Hello to the newbies. Life I wouldn't meet him but if you want to give him a chance be hyper alert to any further flakiness ...

I saw Mr Big Car (Mr BC for short lol) last night ... yup, am getting the feels ...

There are two things that are troubling me slightly ... one is that he lives quite a long way away from me. But works in central London so that's good .... Second and much more important, he is a widower. Not dated in the two years since she died. Was on Fab, that's where we met. Seems very keen on me. But .... there's a little bit of me that wonders if he's ready. Otherwise, things are great, we have fun in and out of the bedroom.

Man4 welcome back - am sticking around so I can share my angsting (pretend that's a word ...!). The last relationship I had (through OLD) wasn't perfect and I let a few things go which I probably should have noted, and ended it 😕 One was his complete compartmentalising of our relationship. His grown up children didn't know about me, (he worked in London part of the week, back up north the rest of the time). It felt like shit to be honest. Mr BC has told a couple of friends about me and wants me to meet some of his friends. Which is terrifying. But also means I feel reassured. We are three dates in, someone tell me to stop overthinking. Give me a slap if you have to ...!!

Well MrStone has just learned that if he plays with fire he's going to get burned. I just told him I have a date with MrCornish on Saturday night, and he sent a very sheepish, completely out of character, banter free message back "I feel like he is winning ☹".

We had already arranged a tentative date for tomorrow after our first date, but neither of us had confirmed. So he appears to be having a crisis of confidence now and is probably wishing he hadn't told me about the busty red head he's been chatting away to 😂. The upshot is he wants to show me he can be a proper sensible grown up and would I like to go to his for dinner tomorrow night, no pressure... If I had a pound for everytime I've been spun this line for a date I'd be rich. 😂 I won't drink so I can drive home if I want to. We've already had a date and been chatting for a few weeks, so I think I'll see if he can impress me in the kitchen at least.

I like him, but I don't think he's long term material (he doesn't hold hands outside -WTF?) and I'm not seeing MrPlumber again until next Friday so 🤷‍♀️

@hairyarsedman I must say, I would love to meet him. He is a proper North Easterner too. There is a lot of good stuff about relationships in there, especially about issues about DP's behaviour. Basically that you will be miserable if you settle for somebody that has even a single trait that you can't stand. Don't expect or try to change anybody. Find someone whom is a good fit, i.e. someone who you can accept as they are. Of course, it's all great in theory, but my chimp still gets the better of me, but that's to be expected, so that's okay and I forgive myself. The thing that really hooked me in was "Do you self-sabotage?" and I have sabotaged a lot of relationships... but they truth was that I deliberately ignored red flags, so my chimp was yelling at the top of its voice about these flags and I tried to ignore the chimp, which only leads to stress and anxiety.

Ohhhh but now I've met him and he's so lovely. Ffs.

He doesn’t hold hands outside, @JeSuisPrest? Is he 10?

Ok I have a question, why do men message on pof make the first move then when you reply back radio silence. I’m confused as a gorgeous bearded 6ft man did this today 🥴 xx

batshit I'm sad to hear about Mr BC's status as a widower. I'm sure everyone experiences loss differently, depending on the state of the relationship pre-loss and whether there was a long period of illness etc (among other things no doubt - thank goodness, not something I know anything about). If she died two years ago though, perhaps you should trust that he knows he is ready to date again? Both my brother and my father are widowers and leapt straight back in - I really wish they had taken their time. Your guy sounds a bit more measured, but you never know and you are probably right to be wary - well that goes for all of us and everyone we meet really! Good luck with it.

Had a lovely txt back from yesterdays date where I had to send the dear John. 'ahh,ok no worries,whatever you're happy with sweetie', so that's all good.

Still crazily thinking about my two nights on a trot snogs,with real life village man. Apart from txting in reply to my football match idea(has to babysit),i've heard nothing.
Maybe I need to wait for his wife to actually move out first and give the poor man some breathing space!
Off pof for a bit and totally chilled :)

MrDrummer you advised me to read The Chimp Paradox some threads ago because 'hurt people hurt people' so it is top of my list for my holiday next week. Thank you for your advice and thoughts on it. I really hope it can help me straighten things out!

@Batshitcrazywoman There was something on the radio about this the other day and the average length of time for widowed folk to move on is 9 months ... (6 months for relationship breakdown )

@Crustaceans

He doesn’t hold hands outside? Is he 10?

Yep, weird isnt it - I love holding hands, hugs, arms around the waist etc. To me it's those constant little acts of affection which keep the spark alive. Like I said, he's not got LTP (Long Term Potential), but he is very easy on the eye and I've got an itch that needs scratching. Even my FWB MrPlumber held my hand on the way from the hotel bar to our room.🙄