Dating thread 154 - in which beards are encouraged.

[Crustaceans]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

Mr drummer- water and diet would def put me off. Like stealth said just make up for it outside date time.
Richdeniro- I am def looking for different things. First marriage I wanted no kids and fun and now I want someone with kids and more health conscious. If you want kids I’d be tempted to look younger. It’s okay for men to have kids older but less women want.

Anyone ever have doubts about inviting someone round your home?
Whether it's date 2 or date 10.
I'm just not sure. But I also know it has to be on the cards sooner or later for a relationship to go anywhere.

In the past when I've invited someone round it's always been a bit awkward.
And sometimes I've never met them again.
Didn't dtd on first time invite with anyone tho.

@ccgirr I think I have learnt that lesson.

Hello all, Back again after I made a last appearance here many many many threads ago. Had given up after cringy Tinder experience, now I've decides to give it another go on eharmony. Nothing exciting at all so far. Will hopefully catch up with this thread before it moves to the next one.

Oooh @lannister isn't eharmony old style? Like matching you with people?

I'm also intrigued by elite singles. Not sure what kind of person decides they are an elite single... 🙄 or who would want someone who thinks they're an elite single!

@Peanuthedz the problem i found with Tinder was it had the stigma of a hookup site. I'm looking for a LTR so thought eharmony may be better

Thanks for all replies. I guess what I was getting at in my post from what my friend saying that I would make a good second husband is that women in their 30's who haven't been married and are childless aren't looking for someone with my personality traits which is why I'm constantly knocked back.

ccgirl saying she wanted fun and ItsAMiracle2015 saying she fell for a Jack the Lad type amongst others seems to confirm that.

@richdeniro we're all different. I have always gone for penniless artist/dodgy/sex piratey types. Til I hit 30 and my biological drive kicked in and I went for very straight very financially stable men. Mind you they weren't emotionally supportive... now I'm menopausal I've reverted to type. Don't take what she said to heart. It was probably a throwaway comment. You'll make a lovely first husband for someone I'm sure. Make that only husband!

@lannister I've never found tinder to be a hook up site. I think you can find whatever it is you're looking for on there. But I am a big tinder fan.

Rich- it might be different if they are older though and want kids fairly soon. A lot of us women on here seem to have met Husbands when quite young. Then I wanted to go out every night but by thirty I wanted to settle and have kids. I think we all want different things depending on life experiences. Don’t let her let you think it’s not going to happen

rich probably of no help whatsoever to you but on the whole second marriage thing...
I was with exh since a teenager so back then dreamt of the fairytale wedding, dc etc.It came as a big shock to find myself a divorcee at 30.Still don’t understand why he left, however with hindsight I can see that we probably were just too different anyway.
Now in mid-thirties I am much clearer on what I need from a partner - to name but a few things emotional maturity, resilience,shared life goals, good with finances, understanding and acceptance of my dc and their needs. With the right person I would consider marriage and 1 more dc but I would have to be sure. It’s scary to lay your heart on the line again after so much past hurt and most importantly I need to protect dc’s emotional well-being.

richdeniro looking at it from another angle, I have kids at primary school so I still hang out with the other parents. Almost all the dads are nice guys and a lot of us had kids late so I don't think there Is something inherent about your personality type that stops women settling down with you. You seem like a lovely guy but you're probably struggling with the same trying-to-find-a-needle-in-a-haystack situation that we all are but we're all great people so I'm optimistic most of us will find what we want.

Hi I’m thinking of dipping my toes into dating - I’m 54 with an 9 year old - I’m not sure which site is good for me - any recommendations from anyone similar age to me. Im in London.
Thanks

Stealth I really like your comment! Trying to find a needle in a haystack is pretty fitting!

@Mary1935 good morning, I started OLD a couple of weeks ago, on Match, I met a guy who is lovely but got too serious ... meeting a second this morning.

I also joined Tinder, quite a few matches and chats, but a couple have stopped chatting, which I find rude, I can't help it!!!

I would recommend both sites, I need to have thicker skin and remember the rules see page one of thread.

Good luck ... it's busy out there!

Mary1935 welcome. There's a link at the start of the thread to a list of dating sites.

I would try the free ones, Tinder, Bumble, POF, and see which you like best. Everyone has their favourite.

If anyone uses iPhone and wants to test a new dating app then pm me.
I don't work for them, I was just curious and signed up to test it. But they've only released the iOS version so far.

Only one person can do it. So first come first one gets to play.

oldbrain...I have pm you, happy to try it out 😀

@Matchedandmuddled have sent you all the info.

I've found all the drinking /second marriage discussion really interesting.
After being married to a drinker, I now avoid keen drinkers and stopped seeing one iron because he flaked due to a bad hangover.

And while I don't mind whether they have children or not, I definitely don't want more children myself and would avoid people with children younger than my own.

This time around I'm more looking for someone who is calm, sensible, intelligent and a bit dirty but not kinky. Not a project in need of fixing. A proper grown up. Someone who I can chat to, and isn't a doormat and doesn't expect me to be a doormat either.

Tall, big hands, beard are all bonuses too

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking I don't think I can open pm on phone ... I have asked MN ... any ideas?

@Matchedandmuddled no idea! I don't use MN on my phone.
If you're happy to pm me an email I can do it that way