Dating thread 154 - in which beards are encouraged.

[Crustaceans]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

Good job I wasn't counting, as I got it wrong!! I'm seeing him at 11.30, which is in 2 hours

@Ant330 I wish I could post a photo. Because I was already saying NO without reading his bio. Then I seen the top.

I just thought well he knows what he wants, but there's ways of asking.

Is it you really? Ha

@StealthNinjaMum I feel like the Match apologist here!

He possibly didn't look at your profile and nor did some of those others. One of my rejectors appears to have looked at my profile a couple of times since then. My belief is she probably wouldn't be looking since I got a no reply rejection, so I suspect when you appear in front of someone in their Shuffle that counts as a view. That's a bit naughty if true, because it wasn't out of interest and shouldn't be signalled to the other party.

Something has changed since I went back to it though - like you I have implausible views from all over the place. Before this, I would receive 2 or 3 local views a day.

Haha no I almost wish I could take credit for it's brutal honesty, but if you come across a bald bloke in his late 40's with the same profile you'll know I've copied him!

I have a new tinder match, gorgeous, dark/ gingery beardy, lives super local. Nice messages so far 🤞🤞

How soon and how do I ask how tall he is?

Mr Big is driving me bonkers. I decide I am not messaging him but then he always messages me on an evening then it gets late and mid convo he just goes offline. Then replies in the morning. I think I need to just get it into my thick head that he is not that into me and he is in fact rude!
If I ever decide to leave the convo I say “off to bed night” or something!

@Marlboroandmalbec34 I think some people text differently and don't see any issue with that.

Personally, I find it rude. I would always say off to bed, must sleep, just heading out. Etc.

It is rude lifegoes! Would he do the same to his friends? Kids? Clients? Hope not..but his FWB of course! I think he likes to keep me hanging. I am fed up of him. I am NOT getting into message tennis with him today. He has his kids for the weekend. I am going out out!!

@Marlboroandmalbec34 my old FWB used to do this. Not message for chat but just abruptly end/not reply. I called him out on it and he was really surprised. Started telling me about two other women who'd complained about his messaging. But he still didn't take the hint or change his style. He was lovely though. Full dark ginger beard, built like the proverbial house, tall. Travelled a lot so I couldn't get attached. I had to dump him as I thought I was in a relationship with a friend. Well I was... long story. I'd love to get him back one day

@Marlboroandmalbec34 That would drive me bonkers as well and I'd have to say something to him.

@marlboro he could be a little like me and (often) fall asleep on the couch after a long day. I never mean to be rude!

Marlboro just ask how tall he is, I wouldn't be surprised to be asked nor offended if I wasn't tall enough.
Or explain you've got a wierd doorframe fetish and could he take a selfie stood inside one.
Personally I'd go with option 1.

I do the same midcentury but this is every night. Next time I see him I am going to call him out on it!

I'm on my way back from afternoon/eve/overnight date with Mr Unsuitable. My
Kids get back from their holiday this morning so I won't really be able to see him. I think a lot of his appeal is his foreignness. I let him get away with a lot of stuff I'd run a mile from in a Brit. If he's remotely macho I go all weak at the knees. And he's often very male in a way I'd find unforgivable and downright unattractive in a Brit. I think it's a bit like having a holiday romance. God only knows how/when it'll end though.

Re the kids thing. I would only want a LTR with someone with kids. Otherwise you wouldn't get each other. And although I love my time without them and don't talk about them with Mr U it's an entire (well the majority and most important bit) area of my life I'm not talking about.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 Just ask - guys know it's an important thing to a lot of women, that's they write "my sister told me to say in 6ft 2, it's important apparently 🤷‍♀️", yeah, they know what they're doing alright. No one ever says, "my sister says to say I'm 5 ft 5". If I was 5ft 1" that wouldn't bother me, all I want to ascertain is that he is at least 3 or 4 inches taller than me, because I like wearing heels and I don't want to be the same height in them.

marlboroandmalbec I was going to say I am crap with messages and often fall asleep with the phone in my hand or get distracted with something but if he does it every night then yes it is rude and he'll be aware of that. I agree, call him out on it.

marlboroandmalbec but for the purposes of my date tonight could you have an undramatic night tonight so I don't spend too long in the toilet on mumsnet

Matched I learned fairly quickly not to get too excited by matches on tinder as the men rarely messages and most messages I send first don’t reply!

hairy Yes, I think the shuffle thing is true as when I was on Match I got so many messages from men who would say “thanks for looking at my profile” and I hadn’t! They had been in my shuffle pile though. In the end I started saying “I didn’t look at your profile...sorry”!

So Matched is really shit then and I am even less popular than I thought!

I was really bored last night (couldn't sleep til about 3) and I replied to a couple of guys who had sent me 'how r u babe?' type messages. One has replied. Both live miles away so nothing will happen but they seem nice and I clearly need to improve my witty replies to guys. Or perhaps I can give my password to @mrdrummer and he can just send the witty messages for me?

Stealth- I sometimes think the more casual messages are more normal people who haven’t spent hours crafting every word to make them sound semi normal. Babe from word go is a little odd but I think best not to overthink. That’s just me though I know lots on here get super annoyed with it

ccgirr I think there has to be a balance I think between the nice, normal messages and the odd funny one that make someone stand out. I feel all my replies are boring yet in real life I have a good self deprecating humour that comes across badly in messages so I just don't bother now.

I do hate anyone who uses textspeak or babe or gorgeous or sexy in a message. Why do guys do that? Do any women like it?

Whoever asked, Mr Far and I met on Bumble when he was visiting locally. Have been messaging and talking on the phone for a few weeks maybe 3 weeks, know a fair bit about each other and not just superficial stuff. And we just click I think. Met up last weekend and yesterday. Have upcoming plans around our (many) RL commitments, it's good.

He's a bit more relationshippy/romantic than me, but he knows where I am and my rather off putting situation (messy separation SEN kid etc) and is fine with it.

Thanks warls, I asked. I'm on match and tinder and just looking for some fun dates. Learning that just because I am winked at, messaged, matched etc. Doesn't actually mean they will respond when I message! So why do they it! Answers gratefully received

stealth I promise no drama from me today. You are free to enjoy your date 😂

Ant can you imagine..and if we ended up in an ltr I would have to continue the door fetish thing 😂

I am the fecking prize..I WILL NOT reply to Mr Big. If he can drop convos mid way then he can wait for a bloody response! I am very busy and important and have better things to do!!!! (Watching Netflix)
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