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Original poster

Dating thread 154 - in which beards are encouraged.

999 replies

Crustaceans · 09/04/2019 19:13

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

OP posts:
Man4allseasons · 12/04/2019 15:15

Marlboro nope. All my public / sent pictures are just the same as my OLD ones, except one, which is, er, more intimate - think page 3 rather than top shelf material...

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 12/04/2019 15:18

Good stuff man4all I think with men on fab it’s a lot about luck. Women get sooo many messages. I have been on a month and never even searched..I think I probably miss lots of the good guys just because of the sheer volume.

Sad really hundreds of messages on fab. 5 irons on the go, 1 great FWB and still cannot get a date for a Friday ☹️

lifegoes · 12/04/2019 15:23

@Marlboroandmalbec34 yes let's go. We can be each other's wingwoman

Man4allseasons · 12/04/2019 15:23

I also think on FAB that verified guys are more likely to get a response, but how does one get verified, if you can't get someone to respond... I hate catch 22... Sad

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 12/04/2019 15:28

man4all pm your fab name. We can have a quick chat and I will Verify you if you like...non sexual of course...definitely not dating the thread 😂

Man4allseasons · 12/04/2019 15:36

Malboro Pm'd! Grin

ItsAMiracle2015 · 12/04/2019 15:40

I think you're right lifegoes. It shouldn't be this hard! And going out tonight sounds like a great idea!!

richdeniro · 12/04/2019 15:41

@Panamaxforte Still here, just nothing really much going on at the mo.

Passmealargewine · 12/04/2019 15:51

Hi everyone, I've been lurking for a while on the last couple of threads & honestly the advice & experiences you all have is so bloody helpful! I'm thinking it's time to finally get on the dating apps (waiting for my decree nisi any day now, thank god Grin ) but honestly, I'm clueless!
Quick question for those with children, do you mention it on your profile? I have a toddler & not sure whether to put that on my profile or not, I'd mention pretty early on in conversations anyway just in case it's an issue. I havnt dated properly in about 9 years & it's all a bit of a new world for me!

Sunshineandflipflops · 12/04/2019 16:01

@Love I’d be cautious but I guess it depends on why the marriage ended really. I dated someone end of last year who I met online and discovered he’d only separated from his wife a few weeks before. They ended up getting back together Hmm

Sidge · 12/04/2019 16:01

Crikey you lot are prolific!

So I’m on holiday alone, have had a lovely weekend in the sun. Eating, sleeping, reading, snoozing, swimming. Have met a couple of gay guys who are HILARIOUS so haven’t felt too lonely and enjoy my own company anyway.

BUT too much time in my head, so I bit the bullet and have ended it with my Mr Mystery (FWB+). I was starting to really fall for him, but he made it clear from the start that he didn’t want a relationship and I figured it made sense to switch it off before I got even deeper in. This is the guy who I’ve been “seeing” for about 4.5 months and I don’t have his phone number and I’ve never been to his house (I know, I know, bloody weird... he’s definitely not married just very good at compartmentalising).

So I know I’ve done the right thing, but it stings a bit. However there are worse places to be feeling shit I guess!

@lifegoes I mean this kindly love but that guy sounds an absolute arsehole, I can’t understand why you’re persevering.

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 12/04/2019 16:02

Welcome passme I am pretty new to it all too (and awaiting nisi)
On tinder I don’t have a profile blurb (I know it’s frowned upon here not to)
On bumble it’s one of the questions so I answer have kids don’t want more
My 2 are both preschool so I always get it in quick but usually naturally. Guys ask what I have done that day and I answer. Took my kids to feed the ducks etc.

Sidge · 12/04/2019 16:03

Bloody auto fill - I’ve had a lovely week in the sun. It’s a bit far to come for a weekend!

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 12/04/2019 16:04

sidge glad your having a super time. Wow get you ending it with Mr Mystery. Sounds like the right thing to do!!!!

lifegoes · 12/04/2019 16:06

You are all absolutely right, I don't know why I am persevering with him. It's ridiculous!!!

He's all nicely nice then goes cold!

Is it too much to ask for consistency with a bloke.

LilyRose88 · 12/04/2019 16:06

Starry I think a hand in the small of the back can be quite nice, depending on the context. I agree that in some circumstances I might feel that someone was being condescending - treating me like the little woman who had to be guided somewhere - but in other circumstances I find it rather pleasant and at times quite erotic Blush.

I can see how this 'touching' thing is a bit of a minefield as we all seem to find a different level of touching acceptable and for some people, like me, it depends on the person and the context!

I think I mentioned in an earlier post that Mr Outdoors asked me whether I minded him being tactile - as in holding my hand and touching me on the arm. I was very happy with it and told him this. But I have been on many OLD dates when I would have recoiled in horror if the guy in question had made any physical contact!

ItsAMiracle2015 · 12/04/2019 16:20

Passmealargewine I have a 4 year old and it's in my profile (including his age).

JeSuisPrest · 12/04/2019 16:32

@lifegoes I'll go against the grain and say I'd meet him. What have you got to lose by going on one date, as long as you don't overinvest this time? I'd rather regret the things I do than the things I don't. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't but I never have that "what if" feeling because I gave it a go 🤷‍♀️.

You gave it a go, he's still messing you about and you don't feel the same about him any more - so now you don't have that "what if" dilemma - move on.

putastrawunderbaby · 12/04/2019 16:34

Well, my Fab meet today turned out to have no discernible personality and Mr Gardener has cancelled our date tonight to have his children so I'm planning a night in with Netflix and tumbleweed

Lovemusic33 · 12/04/2019 16:34

sunshine that’s my worry, he says he’s on good terms with her. Yesterday he sent me a photo of his sons bedroom as he had just decorated it and on the wall was a picture of him with his ex wife, might just be me but that seemed a bit odd, I don’t have photos with me cuddling my ex on my walls but then I’m not on great terms with my ex and he’s a rubbish father to my dd’s 🤣

putastrawunderbaby · 12/04/2019 16:41

Back on Match browsing not obsessed Why would someone use a picture of themselves sticking up their middle finger as their profile pic?!
@lovemusic33 sounds like there might be some unfinished business there?

Passmealargewine · 12/04/2019 16:41

Thank you @Marlboroandmalbec34 and @ItsAMiracle2015 just putting myself out there I suppose is pretty scary
& I would agree with the others @lifegoes you seem really lovely & this bloke just seems to be pissing about a lot, you deserve better than that, he seems to be messing with your head a lot.

Agree with the 'touching' conversation, it's a minefield! I had a few dates with someone who seems almost scared of touching me at all which I found a bit confusing as he seemed really keen in every other way.

I think (not that I'm an expert!) If you're with the right person then your expectations are aligned.
I think in your case @Man4allseasons what you were doing isn't necessarily wrong, she was just the wrong person, keep swiping! Grin

Sunshineandflipflops · 12/04/2019 16:43

Love My kids have photos on their bedroom walls of their dad but not of both of us! There is one photo still in the house with him in but that’s from when we went to Harry Potter World and we all got a special photo taken. It’s in a room only the kids really use.
Since the guy I dated who went back to his wife, I now have a rule of at least 6 mo the separated! I know I wasn’t ready to date until at least then.

lifegoes · 12/04/2019 16:45

@JeSuisPrest I still want to meet him tho, but just feels wasted at the moment. It feels like I'm trying and he's not.

Lovemusic33 · 12/04/2019 16:46

putastraw I see many profiles like that. I had a message from someone who username was a poplular tobacco brand and his photos were of him in the mirror with smoking parafanalia around him😐
I think I will just meet Mr No hair and try and find out more, it sounds like his ex is with someone else because he said “they are taking him away for a few days (dd)”. Maybe they just get on really well but the photo thing seems odd to me, my kids understand that I’m no longer with their dad, why would I put a photo of me cuddling him on their bedroom wall? Anyway, I won’t over thinking it, he’s a bit full on and already planing our 2nd date, I’m not sure if I even find him atractive (he doesn’t have a beard) 🤣