Dating thread 154 - in which beards are encouraged.

[Crustaceans]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

@Man4allseasons Well I like being touched! You would have been Unsuited in other physical ways then. Plus you were on date 2! You should be touching a bit to signal to each other.

I'm a toucher - weirdly as I'm not a hand holder/arm linker. But I do touch people a lot when I'm talking to them. Men and women. And kids. Sadly it's given me the opposite problem.... men think I'm flirting. Got me into all sorts of bother.

sunshine
I know, right! Also I'm very tactile. I touch people to sort of emphasise things, iyswim..

I apologised, and told her she should have said something at the time - I would have calmed things down, I'm not that much of an animal... (I think..)

Onwards and upwards!..

@shitwithsugar - how exciting! There is nothing better than having a great laugh with someone you fancy. I really want a date just kid that....tonight!

@man, I agree with sunshine, totally odd behaviour, hers not yours! Stay strong .... new people joining OLD all the time

@sunshine, good news re. Tinder success, I have 99 plus likes that I cannot see without paying and 3 matches, all far away even though I did put with 25 miles?

Oh that's shite Man4allseasons. How did your first date go? What have the messages been like inbetween? I'm so confused 🤷. The only time I'm not keen on touching is when I don't fancy the other person but that's on a first date.

Oh man,that's really shit. Some women are very touchy feely and I suppose if she was 'feeling' it with you,it may have been more welcome. I suppose she felt it was too much. Someone else will appreciate the odd touch.

Lots of great dates going on :) I need to get back out there and get poffing again

@shit....I meant to say just like that!

Soooo I'm on match and tinder, do you think I need to join another? I feel I have looked at so many men's faces and a few torsos....yet not had a wow moment. Any recommendations?

I hate pof as anyone and everyone can message and it's just too much. I do enjoy Bumble though 😊.

itsAMriacle (and others) Thanks. I know it's her, but it was just so unsettling...

The first date was just "nice", I did touch her leg and hands a few times. We hugged at the end. Nothing in the messages in-between dates to suggest either of us was particularly interested in each other, but as it was date 2, I may have stepped up the touching to signal my interest...

Back to the apps...

Man4allseasons I do think it's really odd behaviour on her part if I'm honest and what a weird way to react when you're uncomfortable with something. I feel your pain when you say back to the apps 😐, but there's plenty more women out there who will be happy with the touching 😉.

Thanks for heads up re. POF - what would you recommend!

Last night I chatted with Mr Mill on phone, he has messaged asking if I want to meet up for coffee at 10am Monday. Seems to think I am sweet, I think he is lovely. But I don't think I am sweet - bloody hell this is tricky. It's because he seems everything I could potentially be looking for so the potentially rejection will be so much tougher. Aargh - silent scream from me, I must just go for it and not overthink it.

@man so seems collective mumsent agree that you are great and your date was odd! Hope you are ok, it's tough this dating stuff!

Oh I hated POF. Constant messages from potato heads and just dull dull dull, hi sexy type messages. I managed 24 hours. Felt completely overwhelmed and slightly vulnerable. Give me a swiping app anyway, filters out the bottom feeders. Mostly anyway.

Oops perhaps not the best turn of phrase

I don't know why tinder has such a sleazy reputation. It's not just for hook ups,

I am feeling very hungover today 🤢 but had a great night! I think even if he was ugly he could laugh and charm me into bed
We both got very drunk and we had 'the' chat. We have both hidden our OLD profiles and neither of us are chatting to or dating anyone else. He brought me coffee and breakfast in bed this morning too.
Happy days 😁

You can set filters on who can message on PoF which may help ? All our heads are kind of potato-ey when you look at them aren't they ?

I saw the funniest profile name on there last night: LiveLaughVole

Again, thanks all I'm fine. Putting it down to experience, and not letting it bother me much.

Got a child free (now very boring0, unusually empty weekend coming up, with nothing to do... Feel a swipefest coming on!

@HairyArsedMan yes but some potatoes are tastier than others.

Maybe it depends on whereabouts you are but I found POF sleazy. And I couldn't work it out.

Didn't like okcupid either, couldn't work it out. I like the straightforward ness of swiping. Yes or no.

Are the same people on all the apps pretty much? I've only ever used pof (due to having old phone).

I once tried Zoosk,omg what a load of rubbish that was. I even paid for it!

Matchedandmuddled I like Tinder and Bumble. Don't use any others as I like the having to match before they can message.

kerkyra way more men on Tinder in my area than on pof.

A pattern is emerging for me on Match: If I'm fav'ed, and if I like the profile, I write a message while the impulse exists. I find I am declined with no response. Several times now. Clearly my impulsive first message is shit. What's wrong with hello gorgeous ?

@Man4allseasons

If the woman said it made uncomfortable then, unfortunately it made her uncomfortable. But that doesn't mean what you did was wrong and neither does it mean she was "wrong". No one's feelings are "wrong". She may well have hang-ups about it, which we shouldn't judge her for (e.g. some previous trauma, etc). We'll never know. Maybe it happens every date she goes on. Maybe the penny will drop and she will get counselling or something. What we can say is that she isn't the right person for you at this time, which is okay. These things happen. The perfect woman may just be round the corner :)

@Peanuthedz

Although for a split second I though oh Julian Assange looks quite nice with a beard. But only for a moment. 😳

That's actually made me feel a bit sick.

There is a guy at work who looks a bit like him, (he would be loved on here cos he has a beard and he is about 6' 4") and I actually hold it against him that he looks like Assange.

Thanks all! May give bumble a go, although I've just started looking OLD I would like a great date.

Will say yes to Mr Mill and meet him on Monday. Already wondering what to wear - thinking jeans, rolled up, I have some new super cool trainers, my son, 16 chose them so I'm presuming they are cool!

Man on Tinder explaining his Viking heritage to me at the moment! Bonkers

Hairy, I am on match....in your first message ask a question, make it relevant to her profile, if polite and interested she will respond. Also don't compliment straight away, I see hello gorgeous and presume this is your standard opening line and thus a bit lazy! This is just me of course, sure others think differently.

@Man4allseasons

Just reading more of the thread. Did I read it right that you touched her leg on the first date? I must admit that sounds a bit much for me and not something I think I would do unless things had progressed to a point where DTD was a likely. Having said that, surely she knew what you were going to be like on date 2 having had date 1. I am starting to think that maybe it was an excuse or something like that. Some people have been known to not tell the truth.

@Matched I personally didn't like PoF as there were just too many messages, even when I set filters! I'm not keen on Bumble either as I hate having to be the one to always send the first message (to usually get no response anyway) but we all like different things so give them all a try and see what you like best.

I do find that you see the same faces on all of them though after a while so not sure it makes all that much difference. I think there is a higher 'turnover' on Tinder so more new faces.