Dating thread 154 - in which beards are encouraged.

[Crustaceans]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

Matchedandmuddled Match is slower than POF because you have to pay to do anything on the site.
I tried it for 6 months, had a couple of dates but they weren't right for me. Similar age to me but definitely ready for retirement which I'm not.

I could've stopped my subscription after about 2 months because there were very few new profiles appearing.

I think you can favourite and wink at people without paying. But you can't message anyone.
I also think that favourite/winks are also used like a right swipe on Tinder. A quick way to like someone but doesn't mean you want to send them a message.

TooOld yes have a lovely holiday.

Oh shit on the condom issue... I have used with everyone I have dtd with since my ex BUT at 3am on Wednesday morning Mr Big and I did some sleepy spoony sex and I honestly cannot remember there been any rustling or condom fuss...maybe he didn’t use one? Should I ask him? He has had the snip and I have a coil BUT we are definitely not exclusive. We definitely used condoms for every other shag but I am not sure about that one! How do I broach? Just ask him?

@Marlboroandmalbec34 I would try to get the conversation back to when you did it. IE, just thinking about the sex we had, it was quite intense blah blah. I can't even rem if we used anything.

Yes, just say “hey, I really enjoyed our sleepy spoon sex the other night but I don’t remember using a condom?”

I guess it’s a bit later anyway now!

Bit bloody late now.
I am defo going to ask him though! I think I might just be blunt about it and if we didn’t tell him it’s not happening again

In other news I have been talking to a gorgeous looking guy on Bumble a lot today.. he has just sent me a pic of his torso! It’s a very nice torso/ 6 pack but I HATE getting body pics (unless I ask for them!) ah he has put me off now!

Ok a bit of advice from you lovely lot. Been talking to let’s call him mr warr, definitely not my usual type, but my usual type hasn’t got me too far so far has it. Anyway lovely messages not too many funny, now here’s the but he told me today he’s unemployed due to loosing his license through drink driving only happened in feb so not long ago hasn’t got himself another job yet!!! Now I’m not saying anyone unemployed is bad it the drink driving that’s made me think maybe not for me. What do the wise people of the thread think xxx

@Lollyjack next!

lollyjack id ask what happened. A very good very sensible freind of mine lost her license through drink driving because...well she went off the rails for 2 months after relationship breakdown. Totally out of character. She could have lost her job through it. Shit happens. Why it happens is a different matter

It would be a no from me. He could have killed someone.

lolly I’d need to know much more about it. But if you’ve not even met is it worth carrying on?

No from me too - irresponsible and no job or able to drive either 🤷‍♀️

My Mum's ex lost his licence through drink-driving. In a country where admittedly the allowed levels half of this country but everyone knows the law - that's why in that country there's a huge market in v low alcohol beer.
He did however drive into a lamppost and afterwards claimed he had seen a rainbow -coloured unicorn. Thank God it wasn't a human he drove into!
I would not go there.. you want someone when even drunk can have some self-control and common sense.

Thanks guys you have just echoed my thoughts he had been on a night out and was still over the limit the next day when he drove but actually admitted he only got in at 0500 and drove at 0900. Xx

Oh @lolly noooooooo

Would be a no from me too. Actually any criminal record would be (unless something very minor as a teenager etc).

Message sent say thanks but no thanks. Now blocked. Why do I feel mean xx

I have a dangerous driving record from when I was 23.. (in another country!). It was for driving too slow on a motorway (at 11pm) because my battered student car was over-heating, the road was flooded in the slow lane and I had holes in the floor of the car so I had to drive in the raised fast lane. No such thing as an MOT in that country! I did get pulled over by a nice policeman who gave me the DD ticket. And there was not a single other car on the road in that sleepy town.
Just wanted to point out that not every "record" is a bad thing :-)

@Lollyjack - no that wasn't mean at all. Just you setting standards.

Thank you all I have to learn to be a bit harder and not feel sorry for them lol xx

I dated someone who had lost his licence, turned out he was involved in quite a nasty accident involving another car, his mates had encouraged him to drive whilst drunk, I ditched him pretty fast for the simple fact that he did what his mates asked him too do (he was in his 30’s and old enough to take responsibility for his own actions). He lost his licence for 3 years and had lost his job too. It’s pretty hard to find a job when you have lost your licence through drinking, most drink drivers are named and shamed in local papers.

I’m still unsure if I’m going out tonight, at what point do I assume I’m not? He hasn’t messaged to say if it’s on or not after saying he was poorly yesterday. I’m starving as I wasn’t sure if he wanted to eat or not. If I don’t hear my 7pm I’m going to assume it’s not happening.