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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

new boyfriend has become homeless

169 replies

Bellasorellaa · 09/04/2019 16:50

i been seeing him for 2 month and he has treated me great, pays for everything so i expect will pay his way and tbh we are close i know A LOT about him, met his mum and daughter already and all his friends
he never suggested but i did that he can stay at mine. I live alone with a cat. He is actually allergic to cats so dont know how this will go
i wont give him a key but i work in the day
im thinking of saying for two weeks whilst he gets back on his feet

is this a bad idea

OP posts:
Whosnameisitanyway · 09/04/2019 16:51

Yes.

ShabbyAbby · 09/04/2019 16:51

That seems like a lot for 2 months
Does he have no alternative?

HappyMama01 · 09/04/2019 16:51

Yes.

Mildmanneredmum · 09/04/2019 16:51

Yes

notacooldad · 09/04/2019 16:52

I think it is a bad ide tbh.

Pianobook · 09/04/2019 16:53

Why can’t he stay with his mum?

Satterthwaite · 09/04/2019 16:53

Why is he homeless if he can afford to pay his way? Two months is far too soon. Slow down! Not your problem to fix, it's too early. And you've known your cat much longer than you've known him so the cat takes priority.

Bluntness100 · 09/04/2019 16:53

Seriously? You need to ask?

79problems · 09/04/2019 16:53

Why were you happy to meet his daughter so quickly? Sad

Villanellesproudmum · 09/04/2019 16:54

How has he become homeless? House burnt down maybe? Financial def not. Can he stay with his mum?

Oct18mummy · 09/04/2019 16:54

More background needed- why did he end up homeless?

gamerchick · 09/04/2019 16:55

You'll regret it, I can guarantee it OP but good luck anyway when he irritates you with his habits.

HollowTalk · 09/04/2019 16:55

It's a terrible idea.

And why is he spending money on going out when he is going to be homeless?

You can't be his only friend. Once he's in, it'll be impossible to get him out again. If he doesn't have any friends at all, that should warn you not to get involved.

Psychologika · 09/04/2019 16:55

Literally the worst idea I've heard all month.

gamerchick · 09/04/2019 16:56

Be aware that you've probably been lined up and love bombed in preparation. A learning curve though.

Jaxhog · 09/04/2019 16:56

Bad idea! But you know this.

And you've known your cat much longer than you've known him so the cat takes priority.
Says it all really.

ravenmum · 09/04/2019 16:56

I wouldn't do it purely because I wouldn't want to live with someone every day that I hardly knew. No fun for anyone.

As for whether you can trust him to pay, find a new place quickly and not nick anything ... well, has he got a job? What do you mean by "homeless" - e.g. chucked out of last place for doing something nasty and not able to aford anywhere else, or just suddenly in need to find a new flat for a perfectly good reason?

managedmis · 09/04/2019 16:57

BAD IDEA

SoHotADragonRetired · 09/04/2019 16:57

Bad bad bad idea and if when it turns out to be a bad idea you'll have a hard time getting him out, because you've taken responsibility for him now so he doesn't have to do anything.

He's an adult, you're very early in dating, if he "ends up homeless" (strangely passive phrasing there, unless there was a fire or typhoon) all you have to say is "Oh no, how awful - what will you do now?"

Ragglesnaggle · 09/04/2019 16:57

COCKLODGER ALERT

NChangeitup1 · 09/04/2019 16:59

Don't do it, I did in the past and he well and truly took the piss, turned out he had a drug problem and stole a load of my belongings to pawn. As harsh as it seems I would walk away now and see it as a lucky escape! However I get it's easier said than done.

NigesFakeWalkingStick · 09/04/2019 16:59

Why is he homeless?
Why can't he stay with his mum?

Definitely do not let him stay with you.

LuggsaysNotaWomen · 09/04/2019 17:00

Look up bad idea in the dictionary and ^ this will be the definition.

Was he thrown out by a women for being a cheating cocklodger, perchance?

thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter · 09/04/2019 17:01

Be aware that you've probably been lined up and love bombed in preparation. A learning curve though.

^^THIS. All the live-long day.

With you mentioning you're out all - does this mean he'll be in your home all day i.e he's lost his job/didn't have one? Suspicious as hell, loads of red flags, slow down.

ScreamingValenta · 09/04/2019 17:02

Why exactly has he suddenly become homeless?

That's the key thing we need to know to answer your question.