new boyfriend has become homeless

[Bellasorellaa]

i been seeing him for 2 month and he has treated me great, pays for everything so i expect will pay his way and tbh we are close i know A LOT about him, met his mum and daughter already and all his friends
he never suggested but i did that he can stay at mine. I live alone with a cat. He is actually allergic to cats so dont know how this will go
i wont give him a key but i work in the day
im thinking of saying for two weeks whilst he gets back on his feet

is this a bad idea

His reaction to this will tell you everything you need to know.

In any case, if all his friends are coke heads, what is the likelihood he is doing the same? And you’ve only known him two months - you hardly know him at all. He can go to his grandad’s so it’s not like he’s going to have to sleep in a bus shelter.

Bad idea! I was talked into this by an ex I'd known for about 6 weeks. He stayed two years. Never got another job, never paid for anything, never did anything in the house, had his friends round drinking and doing drugs with my money. I was young and more naive and it was a terrible time.

i know someone who moved a woman in he met once (no idea why he did this) she stopped paying rent once she got in and every time he asked her to leave she would cry, took him ages to get rid of her.

I currently have a family staying with me that I met in a pub two months ago and who are temporarily between houses, so I err on the side of being enthusiastically hospitable.

This is a terrible idea. Don't do it.

No I still have to disagree with you @givemefiveminutes when all my friends were actively taking ecstasy every weekend, I was not. So there's always an exception. But he probably isn't it.

Don't do it.

If he's a decent man, he will completely understand why you're not comfortable with it. He wouldn't want to be "rescued" by you - that does nothing good for new relationship. If he gets stroppy with you, he's not a decent man and you shouldn't be with him.

Op you need to get your big girl pants on and tell him.

This is not going to go away until you actually have this conversation.

Did you have the talk with him last night, OP? Are you OK? Is he still there?

I'd be worried. My last ex turned out to be a total liar. I was seeing him for 8 months. In that time he also told me he was 'homeless' because his parents had kicked him out. Thankfully I never offered because no way was I going to be that stupid. I'm pretty sure he was lying about being kicked out - just wanted somewhere else to doss cos his folks were giving him grief. I dumped him soon after when I found out he was an alcoholic - total bullet dodged.

Sorry, wrong thread

Bad idea to let him move in with you. You just met him two months ago and barely know him. But of all the people he’s known in his entire life, you are the only one he could possibly live with?

Reading between the lines he’s already moved in

Bad bad idea. I just hope heya decent bloke and agrees to stay else where

He's own mother has kicked him out??? Lordy.

@MonaChopsis

You have taken in a whole random family??? You are even more of a mug than the OP.

This is a spectacularly terrible idea. But you know that. Now have the conversation- even by text- where you say that in actual fact it wouldn’t work with him moving in. Perhaps the Landlord said so. Mortgage company said so. Your parents say so. Whatever it takes to just say NO. One difficult conversation now could spare you agony later.

And change your locks. And end the relationship ASAP.

Even Monachopsis says this is a bad idea. And she brought home a whole family of strangers from the pub. To stay. To live with her. Yet she says your idea is bad OP. This is all you need to know.

OP did he move in?

Something about his step dad and having issues with him he said he will tell me when he sees me
Well these 'issues' were there before you met him - so what has he been doing about it?

How long has he been living with his mum?
He has a child and should have his own accommodation for contact with his child and sleepovers.
I bet he's been dragging his feet about getting his own place and this is probably what the 'issue' is.

has treated me great, pays for everything so i expect will pay his way
Yea - wait til he throws that back in your face and tries to use it to guilt trip and manipulate you.
I bet he uses the lack of money as an excuse to justify why he hasn't found his own place.

Then he's going to say he's been spending money on YOU and now you 'owe' him to let him live with you until he finds his own place like never
He's spending money on you to fool you - he's freeloading off his mum and intends to freeload off you.

It sounds like either you are very young and naive or he's majorly lovebombed you and got inside your head -
tbh we are close i know A LOT about him No -you don't. You didn't even know he had 'issues' with his step-dad or living situation.
met his mum and daughter - you said a brief hello to the mum when he was facetiming her and you briefly met the dd when picking him up- you haven't actually met them, got to know them or been introduced to the family as his official gf.

You know basically next to nothing about him yet seem so convinced that you've got this wonderful set up for a good relationship - he must have seen you coming a mile off.

What are you going to do? It’s not sounding good OP.