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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

new boyfriend has become homeless

169 replies

Bellasorellaa · 09/04/2019 16:50

i been seeing him for 2 month and he has treated me great, pays for everything so i expect will pay his way and tbh we are close i know A LOT about him, met his mum and daughter already and all his friends
he never suggested but i did that he can stay at mine. I live alone with a cat. He is actually allergic to cats so dont know how this will go
i wont give him a key but i work in the day
im thinking of saying for two weeks whilst he gets back on his feet

is this a bad idea

OP posts:
PositiveVibez · 09/04/2019 17:48

Red flags all over this relationship. It's been 8 weeks and you have met his daughter already!! In the short time you've known him, he's become homeless.

Why is he homeless?
Why can't he stay with his mum?
If he 'pays his way', why can't he pay his way in his own place?

One of the worst ideas I have read on this board.

C0untDucku1a · 09/04/2019 17:48

Oh god no dont do it.

BentCoppersOnly · 09/04/2019 17:50

Have you seen dirty john?

Joking aside, think it really depends how and why he is now homeless and what he plans to do to resolve the situation.

ThinkOfAWittyNameLater · 09/04/2019 17:50

Joining the chorus. This has bad idea written all over it. In bright red letters. On a flag.

Stop. THINK!
Then apply the breaks and slow things down. Your going to fast.

OhioOhioOhio · 09/04/2019 17:51

The chances of him being a decent guy are zilch. O. M. G. Run. Run. Faaaar away. Before he takes your home from under your feet. You've known him 8 weeks.

LIZS · 09/04/2019 17:51

How convenient Hmmsurely he knew well before now. No way.

ThinkOfAWittyNameLater · 09/04/2019 17:51

*you're

woolduvet · 09/04/2019 18:04

It's half term now.

Lllot5 · 09/04/2019 18:09

Nope nope nope and nope. Stop seeing him. It’s only been five minutes not your problem.

maxinespalour · 09/04/2019 18:11

More info needed! Why can't he stay at his mums? Why has he become homeless?
And most worrying, why on earth have you already met his daughter?!!!

GenuineKlatchianPottery · 09/04/2019 18:13

Dreadful idea.
Are you thinking with your vagina?

Dieu · 09/04/2019 18:15

"I am really sorry about your predicament, but I am going to give you some space to sort yourself out, and then we can see where you're at".

Wouldn't this kind of approach have worked better for you?

autumnboys · 09/04/2019 18:18

Absolutely not. Push through the social conditioning that says ‘be nice’ and set some boundaries.

Japonicaflower2 · 09/04/2019 18:20

That's all very convenient isn't it?
😳
It's all too far, too fast. You're heading for a precipice I fear.

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 09/04/2019 18:21

OP NO! Please do not consider this...I have known perfectly lovely guys to all intents and purposes who's sole aim is to carried through life on the back of women with their own homes and jobs...Why doesnt his mum have him? No way would I ever see a member of my family homeless..I would make room for them....On every level your post sounds wrong....He sounds like he is looking for a roof over his head,,,any roof and yours will do....he will charm and smooze you with out a care in the world whilst you are being used. and being useful to him..please dont let it happen to you ....

adulthumanwolf · 09/04/2019 18:22

Terrible idea after 2 months. Why can't he move in with his mum?

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 09/04/2019 18:26

And another thought ...If his mum doesn't want him why not? should he be palmed off on you..?? Too many red flags...He isnt looking for a relationship he is looking for a roof...saying it again cos you need to hear it to protect yourself ....

ZeldaPrincessOfHyrule · 09/04/2019 18:26

Yep. Bad idea. Run the fuck away.

CherryPavlova · 09/04/2019 18:26

I’m thinking that at two months the most you’d be sharing would be popcorn at the cinema. It’s a very silly idea.

Tattybear16 · 09/04/2019 18:27

More red flags than a socialist convention. Run fast and block.

Purplehammer · 09/04/2019 18:49

I’m very cynical.
He’s a chancer.
You live alone with your cat.
Your’e employed.
He didn’t suggest moving in. You did it for him.
Every chancers dream.
He’s good, very good ,but still a chancer.
As I said at the beginning though i’m a cynic so ...........

rosabug · 09/04/2019 18:53

Cocklodger alert 2.

Lozzerbmc · 09/04/2019 18:57

No way. It doesnt stack up having money but becoming homeless...? Please dont let him move in. 2 months is only 8 weeks....

JaneEyre07 · 09/04/2019 18:59

Did you watch the TV show "Code Blue Murder" this week OP? Woman killed by her partner that she'd been with for 6 weeks.... stabbed over 30 times in cold blood. He had something like 140 convictions including violence towards women. I'm sure she felt like she knew him well enough when she gave him a key to her flat..........

You literally have no idea who this man is 8 weeks in.

And what happens in 2 months if he can't afford to move on?

GreyGardens88 · 09/04/2019 19:02

I know I'm going against the grain here, but I was in a similar situation last year, except I was the partner who was going to be homeless. We had been dating just over a month and he let me stay at his for a couple of weeks, and this was in a room with a single bed! We had a great time, it felt like a holiday, I think it really made us decide we wanted to be together. I found my own place after a couple of weeks. I guess it could go either way though