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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

new boyfriend has become homeless

169 replies

Bellasorellaa · 09/04/2019 16:50

i been seeing him for 2 month and he has treated me great, pays for everything so i expect will pay his way and tbh we are close i know A LOT about him, met his mum and daughter already and all his friends
he never suggested but i did that he can stay at mine. I live alone with a cat. He is actually allergic to cats so dont know how this will go
i wont give him a key but i work in the day
im thinking of saying for two weeks whilst he gets back on his feet

is this a bad idea

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 09/04/2019 19:10

why is he homeless

ChorleyFMcominginyourears · 09/04/2019 19:31

Guarantee you're going to be back on here in a couple of months moaning that you've got a cocklodger on your hands! I'd be saying a firm no!

PutyourtoponTrevor · 09/04/2019 19:34

Poor cat

Bananalanacake · 09/04/2019 19:50

the op said he didn't suggest it, she did. so all you need to say is sorry I have had my cat a long time I can't get rid of her because of your allergies.

wigglypiggly · 09/04/2019 20:05

Please dont rehome the poor cat for him, are you coming back to us OP?

Londongirl888 · 09/04/2019 20:30

No. It is very odd he doesn't have family or good friends to turn to for help in the short term. Do you believe him? Be wary you are not short term help until someone better off financially comes along. It's a no from me.

PinkBlueStripes · 09/04/2019 20:46

Yes. Sorry. You've done this out of the goodness of your heart but it is a bad idea. It sounds like you felt you had to offer after him treating you. No! This isn't the way to move in together. Plus how did you forget your cat Grin.

Also you won't give him a key but you work in the day? So it's just a place to crash for him. That's a recipe for disrespect IMO. And you are being unrealistic if he is going to viewings it could be a month before he moves out.

Mintandthyme · 09/04/2019 20:49

Is he working?

holly873 · 09/04/2019 20:50

Way too early to inviting him to move in.

NewAndImprovedNorks · 09/04/2019 20:52

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Him moving in is a SERIOUSLY bad plan
Really. And oh, how very convenient that he now has a lovely girlfriend to move in with .

NO WAY

newtlover · 09/04/2019 20:55

4 pages of Noooooo, OP I hope you are convinced

EL8888 · 09/04/2019 20:57

Yep

Whereareyouspot · 09/04/2019 21:02

The fact you even have to ask this is alarming OP

You have universally been advised on here that it is a terrible idea for a number of reasons.

You are not the person who has to save him
You need a man who is financially viable and being a decent father to his daughter.

He sounds neither

Please don’t offer
Don’t .

Shoxfordian · 09/04/2019 21:02

Yep bad plan
Don't be a mug

Grumpelstilskin · 09/04/2019 21:10

Don't do it and think of your poor cat! Because there will be pressure to get rid of her, even if on the sly.

Original poster
Bellasorellaa · 09/04/2019 21:46

I went to get him at his grandads who lives in the country (Kent I’m from London) and his daughter wanted to say hi to me
I said hi to his mum on face time

Would never get rid of my cat for anyone she’s like my kid and always priority of course!

He has his friends but he doesn’t want to go there because they get drunk and take coke everyday (they do I been around them)

I knew this was a bad idea how do I get out of it?

OP posts:
Original poster
Bellasorellaa · 09/04/2019 21:49

His mum is the one who kicked him out, he does have a job but it’s self employment he does plumbing and building
Doesn’t talk to his dad

I’m going to suggest he stays with his grandad which I know he doesn’t want to because he’s out of London but as all you said and my good friend said the same it’s a very bad idea

OP posts:
Pianobook · 09/04/2019 21:50

Why did his mum kick him out?

SleepingStandingUp · 09/04/2019 21:50

so his close mates are all coke heads.

what has he done to be kicked out by his Mom?

HappyGirl86 · 09/04/2019 21:54

If I were you I'd just be really honest and say we have only known each other 2 months, it's too much too soon. We are still getting to know each other. If he is a reasonable bloke he will understand this surely? If he isn't happy then he isn't worth your time.

FenellaMaxwell · 09/04/2019 21:54

His friends sound awful, he’s been kicked out by his mum, and he’s already got you schlepping our to Kent to pick him up after just a few months? RUN.

GarthFunkel · 09/04/2019 21:54

If his mum doesn't want him please don't make him your problem

MitziK · 09/04/2019 21:58

Bet his Mum kicked him out for stealing to pay for cocaine and he's looking for a new Mummy to support his habit.

Say you've changed your mind. Say you've suddenly got the plague, woodworm, your 104 year old aunt needing to live with you, anything, just make sure this leech does not get his feet in your flat.

Original poster
Bellasorellaa · 09/04/2019 21:59

Something about his step dad and having issues with him he said he will tell me when he sees me

I’m in the gym now and he has phoned a couple times asking when I will be back

I’m putting it off I dunno why I agreed to it, I have been homeless before which is why I’m a mug when this happens to people

OP posts:
MollysLips · 09/04/2019 21:59

You say your landlord won't let you have tenants.

Then you put him in a train to Kent.

Then you CHANGE YOUR LOCKS. (You can buy new locks in hardware shops. It's cheap. Don't skip this step.)