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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating thread 153- The adventures of... [Title edited at OP's request]

999 replies

30somethingandsingle · 04/04/2019 15:10

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

OP posts:
kerkyra · 07/04/2019 12:15

I do agree with everything you said above sorting .
Having a good think about what you've said :)

StealthNinjaMum · 07/04/2019 12:22

marlboroandmalbec that's so sad to read. Sadly it doesn't seem like you have much choice. He can't / won't give you what you want. If you could cope with an occasional FWB that would be good but it sounds like you're getting too involved emotionally. It's so difficult and I did feel for you last night when I saw your posts.

shitwithsugaron sorry to hear you're in a similar position. Flowers to both of you.

LilyRose88 · 07/04/2019 12:27

jesuis I need to up my game! After splitting with my emotionally retarded ex back in January (bitter, mois!)I have been on around 6 dates, with no second dates and not DTD at all.

Mr Outdoors is due to come round in a couple of hours and I am doing my usual self sabotage. He is a really nice caring guy and we have a lot in common but I have convinced myself that I don't fancy him. I have given myself a bit of a talking to and will endeavour to enjoy our afternoon. It is a bit awkward as I can't walk very far yet (foot still sore) so I think we may be stuck indoors. I am going to see if I can get a pair of trainers on and limp a few steps, as it would be nice to go for a short walk at least. Otherwise we will just be looking at each other over the kitchen table! I really don't want to DTD as it will only be date 2 and I would rather wait.

I have been chatting to a guy on Fab and he has just told me that his hobby is clay pigeon shooting. That's a bit weird right Grin.

Still18atheart · 07/04/2019 12:45

Jesuis sounds a bit of a keeper. And not after one thing.

shitwith imo a hangover is the perfect accessory for a Sunday lunch carvery. Enjoy

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 07/04/2019 12:57

lillyrose you have not dtd? Didn’t you have a threesome recently 😂 or am I getting everyone confused? Hope your date goes well!

stealth the thing is I don’t feel sad at all about it. Just not sure what to do about it. If he turned up and begged me to be his girlfriend I would probably run away 🙈 I think having been married such a long time I am just trying to find my feet! Don’t make me give him up!

LilyRose88 · 07/04/2019 13:12

Marlboro yes I did have a threesome but I didn't dtd with the man as I didn't fancy him. I fooled around quite a bit with the girl, so I guess that counts as something Wink. Well apart from that. I haven't dtd since January, and to be honest that wasn't up to much.
Mr Outdoors is arriving at 2pm and I have decided that we will go for a walk, even if it is a slow one, as it is lovely out and my neighbour has just started drilling loudly!

Peanuthedz · 07/04/2019 13:12

@Marlboroandmalbec34 aah I get your situation. I'm similar. I would run for the hills at the thought of a proper LTR. I love living alone. I'm so happy being single. But I'm also quite loved up with Mr Unsuitable. And even before him I wanted someone just for me. But who leaves time for me and my kids and my time consuming but essential hobby.

I guess it's finding something that fills that gap. I swing from not wanting anyone to wanting someone. Sounds like you both want similar though. It's just processing the fact that you do.

Actually Mr Unsuitable told me last night that I'm not single. That's a weird concept! Because in my head I am even though I'm with him. We had a lovely night but he's exhausted, he's still unsure what's happening. But he brought me presents from his holiday and the look on his face when he saw me told me a lot 😍. We didn't discuss anything, there's no point really. I think we both know how we feel but I've got kids and his life is in flux. I'm trying to just enjoy it and not think ahead.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 07/04/2019 13:19

Wow lots of updates!! Can't keep up!! 30 excellent Grin Myth Grin

And ....

OMG. OMG. OMG. OMG. I had a great night. We are hiding our Fab profiles and I'm hiding my OLD profiles. I properly like him 😳😊

BatshitCrazyWoman · 07/04/2019 13:21

And I had a prior arrangement to meet a friend for coffee this morning, so I went having barely any sleep and serious (I tried to sort it out) 'sex hair' 😂😂

LilyRose88 · 07/04/2019 13:24

Wow Batshit that is amazing news.

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 07/04/2019 13:29

peanut I think your right. I think it’s getting my head around it that’s difficult. I have never done casual dating in my life so non exclusivity is a real weird concept for me.

Try to enjoy, it sounds like you have your head screwed on about what is going on with Mr Unsuitable

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 07/04/2019 13:30

batshit wow!!! Sounds great. What were you looking for on fab?

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 07/04/2019 13:34

lillyrose sorry I hope you didn’t think I was been rude. I do get people confused on here as the thread moved super quick!

BatshitCrazyWoman · 07/04/2019 13:43

I was looking for FWBs, and looking for something more committed on OLD sites. It just happened ... wasn't really expecting this!

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 07/04/2019 13:46

Wow batshit thats brill..all the guys I meet on fab reckon they want FWB but defo just want a shag

BatshitCrazyWoman · 07/04/2019 13:50

Marlboro neither of us were expecting it!!

LilyRose88 · 07/04/2019 13:53

Marlboro of course not, I wasn't offended at all. I didn't post loads of details about my threesome as it wasn't that exciting to be honest. The guy looked pretty minging with his clothes off, he was a smoker and he kept prodding at me with various parts of his body. The girl was lovely and it would have been perfect if it had just been the two of us. She got fed up with him at one point and told him to leave me alone! I did try to meet up with her again on her own, but she decided against it as her OH wasn't happy about it.

MrDrummer · 07/04/2019 14:03

@ItsAMiracle2015 I didn't have time to do both and a back injury was limiting. I wanted to lose weight and I know I can't do that while using weights because I want to eat too much!

@DaffoDeffo Pretty much the same experience. My last race photo I thought I looked like a sack of potatoes (that had just ran a half marathon.) Do you use boditrax for composition tracking? Thank-you, I will pm you.

@kerkyra thank-you. Yep, up for a coffee again.

@StealthNinjaMum

what are you basing looking better on?

Specifically, I think my neck looks fat at the moment and I think when my shoulders were in better shape I think it pulled my neck in, as weird as that sounds. Certainly in this one picture, my jaw line is much stronger and it got me thinking.

The conundrum is that at some point I am planning on having a nip/tuck to tidy up after a significant amount of weight loss and they won't operate on more than a BMI of 30 (I am less than that but weight training will put me over), please I really need to be as lean as possible to get the most benefit.

@Notcoolmum @kerkrya and I are friends IRL.

@StealthNinjaMum I don't think I have met anybody else other than kerkyra, but who knows!

Sunshineandflipflops · 07/04/2019 14:07

Hi 👋🏼

So my date and sleepover went well last night. We had a lovely evening drinking wine and cocktails and then decided in the last pub we couldn’t keep our hands off each other any longer and went back to his Blush

Oh my God. The man is like a Duracell bunny! He’s 49, so the oldest guy I have ever dated or slept with but he just wanted to go and go and go! So we did...last night, this morning and then when he brought me home Grin

He told me he has a very high libido...no shit Sherlock! I’ve just had a nap as not much sleep had last night and am glad I have a few days at least to recover before I see him again!

You’ll also be pleased to hear I had everything I needed in the tote bag!

Sunshineandflipflops · 07/04/2019 14:26

I also have really bad stubble rash and am going to my parent’s in a couple of hours!

30somethingandsingle · 07/04/2019 14:29

@Sunshineandflipflops sounds like a great night 😁

OP posts:
30somethingandsingle · 07/04/2019 14:29

@BatshitCrazyWoman so pleased for you!

OP posts:
shitwithsugaron · 07/04/2019 14:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shitwithsugaron · 07/04/2019 14:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 07/04/2019 14:49

lillyrose oh no the man sounds v annoying!

sunshine I love some stubble rash! Sounds great. Glad you had everything you needed

shitwith so it was a date then? How confusing that there was no kiss but a next time?