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Original poster

Dating thread 153- The adventures of... [Title edited at OP's request]

999 replies

30somethingandsingle · 04/04/2019 15:10

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

OP posts:
kerkyra · 07/04/2019 10:23

I won't date the tattoo younger one, looking back it probably wouldn't of worked. Lives at home and works 3 to 11 pm five nights a week.

I'm exhausted,might need a week off

Mr drummer,we can catch up with a cuppa and chat again :)

StealthNinjaMum · 07/04/2019 10:25

marlboroandmalbec34 I was in the toilet for far too long. But he didn't seem bothered if he thought I was constipated or ill. I hope you're ok today and resolved to talking to Mr - I have forgotten his name too many irons on this thread. Is it Big?

StealthNinjaMum · 07/04/2019 10:26

Who hasn't Mr drummer met up with? feel left out

Lovemusic33 · 07/04/2019 10:29

stealth he is saying it was just banter, the fact he used the word ‘banter’ is enough for me not to want to meet him 🤣.

kerkyra · 07/04/2019 10:29

stealth I laughed out loud at that!

I came out the loo last night in the pub and my friend (female) mentioned I had a patch on my backside!! :0 mortifiying,i had to hang my cardy around my waist. my hormones are all over shop this month.

JeSuisPrest · 07/04/2019 10:32

@30somethingandsingle so pleased it went well for you. The exclusive chat? I think you've already got a gut feeling about him that he's not seeing anyone else. Maybe leave it a couple more dates - saying that MrAbs and I had the chat after our first date, so WTF do I know? 🙄

Can't wait to hear from sunshine and her tote bag today 😁

My virtual holiday romance with MrCornish is going well and we're going to try and arrange a meet up when I'm home. He actually seems to like my personality and said last night "I'm not out looking for sex, I want something more". This is uncharted territory for me. Feck. 😳

StealthNinjaMum · 07/04/2019 10:35

lovemusic33 Oh God I hate the word 'banter'. 'I'm going to say a load of offensive / mildly abusive crap and rather than apologise I am going to say it's banter so that YOU look humourless'.

kerkyra Oh no that hasn't happened to me for years, good job it didn't happen on a date.

StealthNinjaMum · 07/04/2019 10:37
Peachesandcream14 · 07/04/2019 10:41

Hello, may I tentatively join in? I've never online dated before and I am considering dipping my toes in, though having seen the messages a friend gets on Tinder I am pretty appalled at the sort of men who are available. Are all apps equal, do some have more normal men who aren't porn obsessed weirdos? I've been separated 8 months and I am so unbelievably sexually frustrated Blush I've been messaging an old flame as that seemed safer than dating random internet strangers, he initially seemed really interested in having a drink for old times sake, was really interested in what I've been up to and made some quite vulnerable admissions himself about weight fluctuations, but he never got back to me about meeting this Friday. I have so little child free time so it was so disappointing, but as a single childless guy I guess he has a few 'irons' who are able to meet spontaneously. I don't know whether to message again or leave it, he was the loveliest guy I've ever dated but went travelling for a while and I moved away during that time so it fizzled out.

supercali77 · 07/04/2019 10:45

're being a dick and then saying it's banter and you're a humourless bitch. Oh yeah....ive been there. It's total bullshit gaslighty rubbish. Don't buy it

kerkyra · 07/04/2019 10:49

marlb do you think it's what we're putting out? I think so.

Is anyone else on tax credits/uc ? I have a few friends in the same position as me,living alone with dc,working etc but the conversation has come up a few times of what happens when our kids reach 18. One of my friends has raced into a relationship because of it and moving in with new man as all benefits stopped.
i'm a long way off but it has crossed my mind that in the future I may be more open minded to who I date ( sounds awful)
(I do own a house with tiny mortgage before I get slated...but with a son with asd I only work part time).

just thought i'd say as many must be in similar positions

kerkyra · 07/04/2019 10:50

Will get the lodgers in,i guess!

kerkyra · 07/04/2019 10:52

hunky men working on the HS2.....come to me!

supercali77 · 07/04/2019 10:52

kerkyra I have no experience of the position you're in but a lodger is a great idea. You don't get taxed on what they pay to you

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 07/04/2019 10:55

It is Mr Big stealth I have been having a good think about it and everyone here’s advice overnight and I am so unsure about what I want from him.

We live over an hour apart and contact with both our kids mean we can only see each other once a fortnight. He was clear at the start that since his divorce he doesn’t foresee him wanting a full on monogamous relationship with anyone.

I am still divorcing and I like been single and been master of my own ship! I have a great job, great friends and lovely kids.

I really enjoy Mr Bigs company, he is attractive, interesting and a great shag, we also message back and forth all day every day. I have had sex with others since we met and so has he. I genuinely don’t feel jealous usually and I don’t really want to give up dating on my other child free nights.

If we had more available time together I would probably want more from him but we both know we cannot.

I don’t want to give him up but I don’t find any other iron half as interesting as him.

I think the stunt I pulled yesterday was testing myself. I felt sick afterwards as you guys know.

Sorry for going on I am just trying to work out my feelings!

shitwithsugaron · 07/04/2019 11:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JeSuisPrest · 07/04/2019 11:12

My scores on the doors since being dumped nearly a month ago are dated 5 different men. DTD with 2. Gained a FWB.

Still in touch with 2 of them and a couple of irons I've not met yet. Tinder is ridiculous- I've got about 15 matches and only 2 have messaged me. Much prefer POF. Hardly any of the Tinder ones have any bio at all and how tall are they? At least on POF you get a lot of basic info even if they don't add a bio.🤷‍♀️

JeSuisPrest · 07/04/2019 11:17

@shitwithsugaron when are you meeting MrRugby today?

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 07/04/2019 11:20

shitwith I know. I think that’s why I am invested in you and Mr Rugby 😁 are you meeting him today?

SortingItOut · 07/04/2019 11:24

@kerkyra
I cannot honestly believe that women are getting into relationships so they aren't skint.....

What happened to women being independent?

Depending on your situation shouldn't your friend be finding a job or if she has one increasing her hours.?
Will your son continue in education until he is 19 or would he be able to get a part time job?
The Government assumes that when adult children leave education they will get a job and contribute to the household.

I will never rely on a man again.....what if the man you find has spending issues?
I'd rather be skint because of my own choices than forced in to it.

shitwithsugaron · 07/04/2019 11:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Marlboroandmalbec34 · 07/04/2019 11:34

kerkyra I will never ever allow myself to be financially dependent on a man again. My ex has fleeced me really but me and the kids are much happier.

shitwith see that to me is something? Surely it’s more than just sex for him if your off for carvery? Keep us updates and best of luck

kerkyra · 07/04/2019 11:48

Very true sorting it, it was something I just wanted to raise. My friend is on minimum wage working in pubs and doing cleaning jobs around it. Both her older teens have gone. So she is bringing in about a grand a month,not enough to rent,keep the car and buy food on her own.

I don't want to live with another man whilst I have my dc,but would never rule it out in the future. But I would want to live at theirs and rent mine out. However,i do seem to meet men in debt,men who live with their parents and ones who either have drink/gambling addictions so yes,you're right about being independent. I suppose I was bringing it up as my friends situation isn't unusual

SortingItOut · 07/04/2019 11:58

@kerkyra

I help people with benefits as part of my job and the amount of people I see who have not considered what would happen when their children leave education is beyond me.
I'm not talking single parents here, I'm also talking about couples.
Its like the children have been cash cows for years and now the money has gone, they are not quite sure what to do.
If your friend would rather shack up with someone than work more hours or get a better paying job then good luck to her.

I'm not dissing people on benefits but I had a hard life, I was a teenage mum but I've made something of my self. Yes I started off working part time and got benefits but then I improved myself to get better jobs. I didn't care if I wasn't better off but nowadays people say they won't work more hours or change jobs as they lose benefits.
Personally I feel that everyone's aim in life should be to not receive benefits and to work towards that.

Why would you expect to rent your house out and to live with the man, what if he wanted to rent his place out and live at yours?

Sorry, I know this is off topic but its a pet peeve of mine that some women don't want to be independent and when it goes tits up they end up losing out.

Notcoolmum · 07/04/2019 12:12

Enjoy your carvery shitwith. Fingers crossed it goes well with Mr Rugby.

jesuis I also read your name as priest! Those are impressive scores in less than a month!!

I’ve been dating for about 7 months. Had dates with 8 people (I think). DTD with 3. Been exclusive with Mr S for 2 months (been seeing him 3) save for a wobble period when we briefly split up and I went back on the apps and had 2, unfruitful, dates.

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