Dating thread 153- The adventures of... [Title edited at OP's request]

[30somethingandsingle]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3543468-dating-thread-152-onwards-and-upwards

@DaffoDeffo 4th date

Would anyone who's on fab and around the midlands/north be willing to send someone a wink or a friend request, just to see if he responds? I need to know if I'm wasting my time. His account should be deleted (I've been sent screenshots) but it's still showing active. PM me please.

I wouldn't have the exclusivity chat just yet if it were me. I think it's too soon for that sort of conversation, and as you say you're pretty sure he's not dating others. It's only date 3. That's just me though 🤷.

4th date sorry!

@likeridingabike I am midlands area and can if you like.

@ItsAMiracle2015 that's what I thought if I'm honest, I've never initiated an exclusivity chat and they always seem awkward when I've had them. Will just have to hope my gut feeling is right and that he isn't seeing others.

Not sure if I’m going on my date today, all was ok until this morning, told him I was having a early night last night, so went to to bed and put phone on silent. This morning there are 4 messages, one asking me if I want to see his 6 pack 😐 and one accusing me of being on POF (“have fun looking on POF”). So this morning I sent a message saying “6 packs don’t really do it for me and I wasn’t on POF I was asleep”. I’m now thinking he’s not the sort of person I want to meet . He’s saying he didn’t mean anything by it. Meant to be meeting him at 11am.

Lovemusic33 he sounds like a twat if I'm honest.

@Lovemusic33 I don't have experience dating, but have a lot of experience of tossers.
He sounds like a tosser.
But that might be just me

30something Thanks, PMd you.

love he’s showing jealousy and entitlement before you’ve even met. I wouldn’t bother.

He was ok up until now, seemed quite normal and nice. The 6 pack thing has passed me off, makes him sound immature, he’s in his 40’s ffs. I go to the gym every day and am surrounded by 6 packs but they don’t impress me, why would they? Maybe he assumes because I go to the gym that I like that kind of thing? He’s now messaging asking if I still want to meet.

love just say no....just my advice. Actually the advice of a gay pal of mine. Screen heavily and only meet once they pass that test. It saves so much time and effort

likeriding I am in North and on fab if you still need help

Oh lovemusic how disappointing. Do you think he’d been drinking?

30something as you’ve dtd and not seeing anyone else I would like to have the exclusive chat. Could you bring up the dating app you met on and see what he says? Mr S told me had deleted his tinder profile and didn’t want to see anyone else. I then told him about my other irons and that I was going to end it with them (was just one really that predated Mr S).

love sorry I agree. Jealousy and entitlement.

mythol yay, hope the chat goes well
.
love they sound like red flags but could just mean he has completely overinvested and was messaging you out of frustration. Which isn't good actually lol. Not sure what i'd do

I met real life man again but he is in no place for anything remotely serious, which I kinda knew. We had another kiss but will leave it up to him.
mr drummer,i think you looked good when we met,slim and fit. I really think you mustn't worry too much about how you look and overthink this x

I lurch between this OLD business being incredibly fun and then incredibly stressful.

I am only on Bumble. Seen too many people I recognised on Tinder 🤦🏼‍♀️

One thing I’m unsure of is whether I’m going on dates too quickly as they seem to not work out. Maybe I should have more time chatting? I usually match and then meet within a week.

So far I have had 7 dates, I’ve liked 3 of them, 1 of them liked me back and we are chatting still but he’s a bit far away (the other two I liked, I shagged straight away and didn’t hear from again surprising )

What kind of ratios do other people have? Does this sound about right??

Shame about real life man kerkrya will you go back to the iron you had arranged a date with?

And wait, you and mrdrummer have met? Need details!!

mrdummer happy to look but what are you basing looking better on? And why did you switch to running? If it's just a bit of muscle definition I personally wouldn't care if I liked your personality. In fact I might be a bit put off if your body was too good better than mine.

I'm in the same position in which I have lost lots of weight and possibly my face doesn't look as attractive but I don't mind because I am fitter and less likely to get an injury because I'm now working on my upper body and core.

30single glad you had a good night. I would wait a bit for the exclusivity chat. You're still at a fairly early stage in the relationship and might change your mind and you might scare him away.

Did somebody say a wedding invitation? I'll get my hat.

I had a second date with Mr Enthusiastic and was so busy in the toilet updating myself with marlboro's traumas I didn't do my toilet update. It went well, I got my snog at the end of the evening (and hadn't even been drinking). The only thing is I feel quite old I am old. All the other dating couples were in their 20s and me and Mr Enthusiastic were exchanging diy tips which I found interesting but there wasn't much laughter. Maybe I need alcohol for that.

I don’t think I’m meeting him, would be too awkward now, he’s saying I have got it all wrong and that he was just messing around, he said he will give me some space and let me decide what I want to do. Feeling pretty pissed off. I think I will just spend the day by myself, maybe go out for a walk on my own and do some bits in the garden. I have another date Thursday which kind of takes me mind off it.

lovemum could also be he's very insecure? Again not a great quality.

mythologies yay! lovely to hear.

sharpandshiney sounds about right. And you're right about it not being fun.

I'm just pissed off with the lot of them!

You dress up to attract them and want them to find you sexually attractive.
Then they just seem to want to shag you.
Loads are just floaters and are happy single.
The weird thing is,the ones who seem to want a relationship in my opinion are the slightly clingy ones and are too intense.
It's all a bit shit.

A good male friend of mine (gorgeous looking) once said to me ' the very attractive/pretty girls are the most insecure' .

marlboroandmalbec34 Thanks, but a friend request has been sent already, don't want him to think he's suddenly become popular.

Sorry for distracting you stealth

love good call

kerkyra you have it spot on. I seem to attract serial shaggers or far too clingy! But then I wonder if it’s what I am putting out

If I'm honest Sharpandshineyteeth I find it really difficult knowing the line of meeting too quick or leaving it too long. I do think you should get answers to your deal breakers (my main ones are employed, drive and have a car (I don't want be driving all the time) and don't live with parents).

I've met 4 men in 3 months (although 1 I had 6 dates with). Shagged 2. Weren't interested in the other 2 🤷.