My ex and OW tried to make out to me both families had welcomed the new partner with open arms, that all was rosy. I later found out and it was directly confirmed to me by my ex's parents and her mother when I bumped into her in town this was far from true.
A rather odd conversation I had with ex several years later also confirmed. Apparently her dad threatened violence, his mother wouldn't speak to him for 6 months, she said because she was so angry and ashamed of his actions. His dad told him he felt he'd failed as a father.
It's not always all as rosy as is made out to the cheated on partner.
Because let's be honest (and there's been threads on here posted by people who started out as OW on this) if that's how your relationship starts, I suspect many OW/om and even the cheats themselves knowing that affairs are very real possibilities are very insecure in their relationships.
As I say in my case he has continued to cheat, but he's also accused her and as far as I know (which I know is not certain) she hasn't, but his accusing her (again as we see on here sometimes too) is usually around when he's starting another affair. I'm not sure if it's to set up an excuse for his cheating or what, but I for one couldn't live like that.
Constantly suspicious and insecure? Watching your partner like a hawk for signs? Stuff that! That's no life.
Some couples do make it work but in my experience that's very rare and even stats bear this out anyway, 2nd and more marriages are more likely to fail than 1sts.
My ex and 2nd wife both look very unwell, unhappy, gaunt and much older than their actual ages.
That side of things greatly worries me for dds sake as exs dad died of a condition exacerbated by stress st a fairly young age so I'm very conscious of this being a possibility and dd having to deal with that which I dread. Especially if he dies before they have any chance at all to resolve anything (although I'm not sure how that would be achieved).
It's a minefield