How to not feel angry about PORN

[Jealouslady]

Been an argument for the last 8 years with my dp. He hides it well these days but I'm not stupid I know he still watches it and sometimes I even can tell when if we go through a phase of not being able to have sex because we have a small child. Sleepless nights too busy etc. I've read about it on different forums including mumsnet and there's all these ladies saying they really don't mind their dp watching porn. How can I not mind? I want to just not care and be like yeah whatever but I just feel so jealous and peeved off. If you're a lady who really doesn't care about your dp watching God knows who then how can I get to that stage of literally not caring about it?

The jury is out with the Egyptians. Did they dress up as animals because they had sex with animals, or was it because they thought sex between animals was more acceptable to see than 2 humans having sex.
The Romans had men and young boys that they would openly fuck on chariots during festivals.
In fact all our festivals were for the purpose of having sex.
It's really interesting if you study it, I've been doing this for just over a week and have notes from Man University, can't remember the actual course or department though. just learning for fun for want of a better expression

I feel really sorry for younger women these days, it seems almost impossible to find men who aren't into porn.

I hate it, I have told my partner he can watch what he wants but I will only be in a relationship with someone who doesn't want to.

My bar is actually set at he'd get dumped if he so much as set foot in Hooters as I will not go out with someone who supports the objectification of women.

I know some women think all men are like that, but it's not true, we should all expect higher standards from them.

I'd absolutely rather be single than worrying about this.

Op I was in your situation and I basically sat my partner down and look you know I don't like you watching porn you know it upsets me makes me get low esteem and confidence but your still doing it. We have two choices and you can choose which one am happy with whatever you decided choice 1) You can carry on watching porn but are relationship is over or 2) you stop watching porn all together and we stay together. I can't choose for you so if porn is a big part of who you are that's fine I won't judge but I can't be with someone who wants to look at other naked women and sexual thoughts other that's my choice its who I am so it up to you wanna can on with porn fine but if not and you choose not to and I find out we are totally done no going back.
In the end he choose me and said if you feel that strong about not wanting me to watch it and am hurting you that bad I will stop and he has done for 2 years

I think the reason I'm not bothered as I watch it too and I don't fancy the people I watch or have any feelings or anything like that... whereas I do for dp.

I don't think most men watch porn.

I can't stand porn. I can't stand the objectivisation of women and the exploitation. Can't bear it. I think though the key issue is that you hate it, you've asked your partner to stop doing it, and he hasn't. He's ignored you. And your needs/wants.

Given that he can't or won't change - you need to. I wouldn't want to be with someone who showed such a lack of respect for something I found really important.

oh, just read your updates. He sounds awful OP.

OP, I think the porn issue is symptomatic of your entire relationship.
Your DH doesn’t sound like he gives a shit about you.
The lack of affection or romance, the perfunctory sex from behind so he doesn’t even have to look at you, the lack of any consideration for your feelings or wishes .... these all sound like you relationship is heading for the rocks. Fretting about porn is just rearranging the deckchairs on the Titanic.
Im sorry, but I think you need relationship counselling or a divorce.

Agree, from your updates the porn isn't the main issue. If he stopped watching porn tomorrow, but still acted the same way, your relationship wouldn't be any better.

You've got the cause and effect mixed around here I think. It's not that he was a great partner until accidentally clicking on a porn site one day and it's led to this. Sounds like he's checked out of the relationship and now has free time to fill, so fills it with porn. And because he doesn't care as much about you he's not bothering to hide it.

I'm one of those ladies that doesn't care.DH doesn't watch it a lot- he has his own business and really doesn't have the time! But I couldn't care less! My self esteem is pretty high and our relationship is brilliant. I have full confidence it's just a physical outlet every now and then. However, if you aren't happy about it that's a problem in your relationship. Don't be unhappy. Life is too short.

OP's problem solved! Take this advice. Thread over.