Dating thread 151: We are the prize...

[30somethingandsingle]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

I'm off all the apps! Woke this morning and thought how toxic it's all become for me. I'm going back to pottering about. I'll follow the thread still.
Good luck y'all!

Azzizam goo luck pottering, I don’t blame you, I don’t think I will be on them much longer, took last summer off and will probably do the same again this year. The past few days has been non stop on POF and it kind of takes over your life.

Sunshine I had to scroll back through the thread to find the bit about bootcamp .... 😳 that'd be a no from me, as a date! I work out every day, but it's my 'me time' ....

Had the nicest exchange with such a respectful younger man yesterday on Tinder. He was too far away and only wanted FWB unfortunately, but oh he was so nice. Restored my faith in human nature. And now I'm chatting with Mr Super. who may just be a possibility for not-just-FWB (big step for me, not at all sure, but maybe test the water).

Your phrase 'loose cannon' resonated with me TooOld. This is how I felt towards the end of last year and I didn't like it, so am being much more restrained now. Takes up less time. Not so many funny stories, but more sex strangely enough.

jesuis glad you had a good night. Hopefully he’s a grower in the chemistry dept.

shit sometimes these things need to happen but hopefully this new fella sounds promising. Bonding over music is a tried and tested way of getting to know someone imo

@Lovemusic33 hope the gardening day is working out for you, doesn't sound like you have missed out on anything much

Anyone else have any dates pending today?

I'm a bit stuck...I've got my guy, let's call him MrSporty, who I like very much after 3 dates and am very much at risk of over investing in. He feels too good to be true and I'm scared I'm going to get stung, so I am chatting with another guy who seems lovely, let's call him MrEnergy. He wants to go out Friday. In all honesty tho, if I knew for certain that MrSporty was genuinely interested I probably wouldn't be involved with MEEnergy. I guess he's the proverbial backup plan

Chatting with my brother this morning who thinks I'm crazy for having two guys on the go and that I'm going to potentially jeopardise something promising with MrSporty by doing exactly what I'm worried he is doing to me! Argh...it's a minefield

So after you lot have been talking about I've signed up to Fab. I'm chatting to 3 blokes...I've waded through 100s of cock pics in various states of arousal!

So we have Mr Delivery - just started and not too sure of him, sent me a face pic and looks quite hot.

Mr Lovely - wants to chat and hasn't been suggestive yet. Doesn't really know what he's looking for yet.

Mr Shirtntie - just started...don't know what to make of him.

As I have come off the Apps I find I'm missing chatting to randoms, lol. So I messaged MrGardener and MrRY late last nite. I was supposed to be seeing MrRY today but he hasn't msg so am just leaving it. I think he knows it was a booty call but from me, not him.
MrGardener is on his way over. We are going to the park to walk the dog, chat etc. Not sure about anything else. We are both a bit lonely/bored so will see how it goes!

Mr Russian said he couldn't meet me this weekend as he was working and dealing with his own issues and problems..
Saud he hopes I'm not too disappointed!
I replied saying no your the one that's busy.
But he didn't want to think he was avoiding me! Very weird.
Anyway I'm now going to meet a guy that's even younger but much closer location wise.
Literally few emails and a wanna meet up message lol this is gonna be awkward.

@Azzizam @Lovemusic33 I'm feeling the same! Just a bit despondent with it all at the moment. Think I'm going to take some time off but I keep getting sucked back in.

Would quite like some advice though - when I first joined OkC there was one guy who I thought was pretty perfect for me, and I liked him and sent an intro as you do on OkC, that was probably 5 weeks ago and on Friday suddenly he matched with me. But he hasn't messaged, and he has been online. Do I message him, before I take my break? Or does that just come across way too keen, given that I did send a (now v out of date) intro message..

Message him leo, what's the worst that can happen?

restless I was in that situation once. It got to the point where I showed my cards to soon and sort of scared both away too soon. It’s horrible like a fork in the roads and you don’t know what’s around the corner on both roads

@leonasa I say go for it, sounds like you have nothing to lose?

@Still18atheart I feel really stuck! The one I like the most hadn't been in touch since first thing this morning (which is fine as I know he is with a family member on a day out), but then all my insecurities flare up and I think, surely if he was that interested he would have been in touch quickly. I just don't know!!

Ok, thanks! Now just to figure out what to say.. ☺️

Quick question...would you date someone who isn’t working (they have a genuine reason) and don’t have a car? Talking to a lovely guy but lives quite far away meaning I would have to drive to him to meet, he’s over an hour away.

I’ve had a good day sorting my garden, haven’t been anywhere and quite enjoyed my own company (sometimes I hate being on my own all day). Had a few messages on POF but nothing too exciting, might have a look on tinder later.

I wouldn't date a man with no car if he was an hour away love. He would just be sitting waiting for you whilst you worked,sorted your girls and drove over.Do you really want that? If he suggested train/bus to get to you then maybe...

restless I say meet Mr energy. You don't have to do any smooching but you can maybe help yourself with the pressure...you and Mr sporty haven't discussed dating others right? So it's fair enough I think

love I wouldn't tbh. I cba driving 30 mins myself. Think of what a ballache it would be.

I just met someone who doesn't drive but for train over to nearest city.
It is always kinda so why don't you drive..
Anyway was bit boring just had a long walk and a drink.
Perhaps might become mates but he was quite difficult to talk to and not much in common.

love quite frankly no. If I was in a city with good transport links then maybe. However where I live no chance. Also i know this sounds dicky of me but unemployed is also big no no on my list. Unless there is a really good reason for it

unique I agree - the only guy I dated who didn't drive turned out to have a drink drive ban, and he was lucky it wasn't more as he caused injuries to others through drinking . It may be worth checking the reason love.

He does have a pretty good reason for not working which does seem genuine, it’s also the reason he doesn’t have a car right now but he can drive. The distance thing is a bit of a pain, I live in a village and so does he so I’m not sure train is an option. I’m not sure if he’s relationship material but maybe frien material, I’m meant to be meeting him Friday.
Yes, the last person I dated that didn’t drive had lost his licence to drink and driving.

@Lovemusic33 , I really hope you don't mind me saying, but I've been following your story (and these threads) for a while now and I don't think you're being picky enough. You bar doesn't seem to be set high enough, and as a result you're ending up consistently disappointed. There's no shame in waiting for a more suitable person to turn up; perhaps consider a few 'must haves' and stick to that as a guide?