Dating thread 151: We are the prize...

[30somethingandsingle]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Good luck to everyone on dates tonight

@Sunshineandflipflops I feel the same sometimes about those first meets. It was just so easy and natural when I first met my ex. Total cliché, but it felt like I'd known him forever and could completely be myself. And the "chemistry" was amazing. It's hard not to compare new dates to that. But I suppose you just have to think that that didn't work out ultimately and isn't necessarily an indicator of future long term success 😬

As a relative newbie here, I was just musing after the comments below about there being 2 MrMs from fab. Has there ever been a case where 2 posters on the thread have discovered they're dating/have dated the same people??

@Tillyscoutsmum I recognised a description of someone just before Xmas and asked the poster which region she was in. Turns out it was the same guy. He was an absolute epic bullshitter and the whole house of cards came crashing down around his ears last summer. I can’t say too much as it’s very outing! But yeah

@warriorprincessandwidowed I know, right poor guy...

Good luck everyone who’s on dates tonight.

I have a lunch date tomorrow but I’m hoping he cancels as I have a horrid cold and would rather spend the day sleeping. Also he’s not one of the best irons I’m talking too. I’m starting to like the sound of Mr Teacher but he lives the furthest away. Not heard from Mr SA for 48 hours, I’m hoping he doesn’t make contact as I’m weak and would probably take him back (which i know wouldn’t work).

I do the same Sunshineandflipflops - it was always easy with my ex (even though he was a tosser in the end). After a blah date I normally take a few days break, dust myself off and get back to swiping. I do think it can be disheartening OLD but I try not to take it too seriously (although not always easy).

Good luck to all those with dates tonight! I think I like the sound of Pretty Woman right now. Might watch that while eating chicken kievs and chips 😉.

I'm overinvesting, help
I have a few conversations going on, but one in particular is grabbing my attention and she's sent me a legs in bath photo and tattoos description (admittedly on request)
I'm very new to this, what now? It's fun though

Way to go @batshitcrazywoman!!
Sorry you're feeling disheartened @Sunshineandflipflops.
Good luck to all on dates tonight.
My ex (Mr Unfeasibly Large Beard) is texting me plaintively. It's a bit early even for him to be drunk.

@WotcherHarry 😂😂 I knew it must've happened at some point. I mean there are indeed plenty of fish but it makes sense some will be lurking in the same waters

Loving the thread good luck everyone on dates. My Mr Local is awY and I have an itch so mr proper an old iron is coming over he said I'm the hottest girl he's been with so that will boost my ego nicely haha

I love how us woman and men are just owning our sexual needs no judgement!!

Go us x

I've been messaging MrP on tinder today and he's the first person that actually puts more than 5 words in one message in weeks. He thought my tinder profile about height and topless gym photos was really funny (I thought I sounded like a dick but hey it worked 😂).

I so struggle to talk to more than 1 unless I'm uninterested in them all really. I've noticed I've not replied to any other possible iron today. I don't know how to stop doing that?!!!

@Ant330 what's worrying you? If she has sent you the pics, definitely interested. Have you organised a date yet?

General question peeps who are seeing people just for sex/Fab? My friend is now doing this and I am a bit worried that she is going to strangers houses. She sent me a postcode today and said would be fine but do you give exact details to someone?

Well my afternoon date messaged me. I assumed it would be a “nice to meet you but no spark” message but he’s just talking as we did before. No mention of the date at all?!

@Eesha
When I go to men's houses I give my friend their full name, address, telephone number and where they work (if I have it)

A postcode is not enough - that could encompass hundreds of houses

Definitely not safe

@Eesha
Forgot to say that I do hourly check ins by text/WA so my friend knows I am safe.
I also let them know when I am leaving and when I get home.

You guys are amazing, so many dates. I joined OLD about a month ago and have had one date with the lovely Mr Uninteresting. (I so wanted to find him attractive but just couldn't).

The other night I had a 1 1/2 hour chat with Mr Enthusiastic. He seems very nice, and sends lots of messages and texts and 'goodnight' texts and we know quite a lot about each other after only ten days. We haven't met in person. I am worried about spending time on him and then not finding him attractive. We have a date arranged for 1st April....

warriorprincessandwidowed glad you're still here, the other ladies (and men) are hilarious. I'm afraid I'm a bit boring - no funny date stories - but I will endeavour to fart or tuck my knickers into my skirt on my next date just for you!

Hi I’ve been lurking on the thread but wondered if I could ask for some thoughts.
I’ve only recently started on Tinder and am really enjoying talking to one guy who wanted to take it to WhatsApp which I was ok with but now he’s taking the chat to more sexual stuff and I’m really not comfortable with it. We only started talking properly yesterday ffs.
Is this normal? If it is I don’t think Tinder is for me.

Appriciate that @stealthninjamum

I believe in you lol

Xx toilet updates please.

roon I hate any sexual chat,turns me right off before a meet.
Mr 34 flaked on me and didn't suggest time and place for date so I messaged that I didn't think he was in the right place to date and I wished him happy fishing.
I think I have my first fwb. I have no idea what i'm doing though!? It's a bloke I used to date a few years ago but I went a bit crazy woman as he was always on pof and we were sleeping together( didn't realise back then I needed an are we inclusive convo). Anyway,met for drink and that's what he's after. With a few trips out and walking the dog. So sort of relationship but not?
Think it's going to be an every other wkend thing when I don't have ds.
So not to over invest,i've got a date with a mr Slovakia tomorrow,bald beefy ice hockey guy but four inches smaller than me!

If i'm sleeping with one though there is no way I can see others......going to see how this pans out as all new to me....

@RoonilWazlibsQuill I'd say maybe half the guys on Tinder talk about sex or their penis pretty quickly. Not for me either. Maybe 1 in 10 or even 20 are normal and don't do that. Don't give up 😊

Thankyou for your advice user and itsamiracle2015 it’s good to know it’s not just me who isn’t comfortable with it.
It’s a shame because he seemed really nice but then maybe he became overinvested far too soon.
God it’s such a minefield

roon sadly this is something you have to get used to. I usually have bets with my friend on how long it will take a guy to talk about sex or send a dick pic. Utter losers.

I'm not even good at sex chat when i'm in a relationship! Makes me think they just want my body/face and I feel used.
I don't look it but i'm a prude!

Oh yes I become very English rose when it comes to sex chat