Dating thread 151: We are the prize...

[30somethingandsingle]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

jeSuis haha laughing at “have him washed and brought to my room”

lifegoes get swiping

I am meeting Mr Scouse again tomorrow for a lunch time dalliance! He is defo not my type. Same height as me, stocky and shaved head. I usually like tall, dark pref longish hair, medium build guys (sex pirates) . I think he might be perfect as FWB though as great laugh, good sex and I know I won’t get emosh over him

lifegoes it's been one of those that I should have got out of months ago, just wasn't ready but am now.

@lifegoes So is he still messaging lots and it just feels different or has he stopped messaging as much? Perhaps I am being naive and you should obviously trust your gut but from reading your posts is doesn't sound like all is lost to me?

I do think the apps can update location without you opening it, certainly on an iPhone you get that option when you install. Is the him being online a lot new? (I presume we are talking on WhatsApp?)

Ugggh just got a text from Mr Italian saying he had been thinking about Saturday (when I'd suggested meeting) and he wasn't sure as he didn't feel the romance 😔 and doesn't want to mess me around.

It's so stupid, we'd only been on two dates but I really liked him... I don't really understand why he was kissing me and putting his arm round me yesterday, he totally instigated all of that... bit gutted tbh

@leonasa Sorry to hear that, but better he do it now than 4 months down the line I'm looking at you MrAbs... Have you got any other irons?

Yeah... I actually thought we'd really got on like a house on fire, and he was asking me qs like would I ever move to italy?? The kisses were good too and as I say all him going in, there were some hints about it going further too.. Now I'm wondering whether I put him off by suggesting meeting up on Saturday ie too keen 😞

Not really sure what to reply - "ok thanks for being honest?" or not reply at all. I guess there is nowhere for it to go if he isn't feeling it so I suppose it doesn't really matter - apart from for my dignity!

@JeSuisPrest yes at least he's been honest. I have another one that's away at the moment and a second who wants to meet up but who I'm not sure I'm that keen on! May offer him the Saturday slot now though I suppose... or maybe I need to take a break..

@leonasa oh I'd be really fed up too. I suppose at least it was before you DTD but still disheartening.

Seems there are a few of us having a rubbish man day today.

@lifegoes and this is the bloody trouble when you can't meet quickly. it's so easy to over-invest in a virtual person. We've all done it. Maybe message him and say you're not going to be chatting with him anymore while he's away but to get in touch when he's back. If he is having a holiday fling it shouldn't preclude you having a date. Or maybe just don't bother.

@Lovemusic33 hope you're ok. Sounds like you may need to block Mr SA if he's still doing your head in.

As for me Mr Unsuitable still doesn't know what's happening. And I don't know him well enough (at all) (how do you cross out?) to know if he means it about leaving the Uk or if he's prone to being dramatic. His living situation is awful. I feel a lot better after catching up on some of the sleep lost last night due to shagging. And also now the sex hormones have worn off and I'm less 😍. It won't be the end of the world if he goes. But I'll be pretty bloody sad. And not sure how long it'll take me to get back on the horse. Even if it's Seabiscuit 😁

@leonasa I normally reply "Thanks for your honesty, wish you all the best! x" then go and feel sorry for myself for a 10 minutes, swearing that I'm done with OLD because it makes me feel so crap when I get blown out, before I start swiping again 😂

@leonasa I would reply something friendly and say good luck or something. When I tell irons there'll be no second date i find the ones who never reply a bit rude or arsey. I think it's far more dignified to reply. Makes you feel better too. Like you've tied up the end. And shows self respect. And also you know, you might bump into him somewhere and then it's awkward.

That's quite a good reply @JeSuisPrest.

I've already messaged the iron that's away... 😂

Aw leonasa I’m so sorry. It’s awful when you think things are going well and they take a different view. Glad you have more irons in the fire.

lifegoes I think telling him you will leave him to enjoy his holiday and catch up when he’s back is a good idea. And get swiping in the meantime.

peanut sorry to hear about Mr U. I’m glad it’s less painful now the sex glow has died down. I get that BAD!!

@Notcoolmum well I haven't had that post coital glow in a bloody long time. I normally scratch the itch and then get panicky and run! He's the first man I've wanted to hang out with afterwards. And there was a lot of sex and a lot of glowing! And I'd just realised that I might want to hang onto him for a while when he got his news which made it all much more of a jolt. I've already got attachment/abandonment issues! This kind of thing just doesn't help...

I still think how weird that loon guy was I had to cancel because I was genuinely I'll. He replied no worries, then never replied to any message when I apologized and suggested re arranging. Yet I'm still on his contacts list! It's so true. There's nowt so queer as folk.

@leonasa I think it just feels different to me. I think I've been so badly hurt by ex and obvs finding out I was the OW when I had no idea. Is really clouding my judgement.

He's text every day with loads of pictures of what he's been up to where he's been etc. He asks how I am and what my plans are. But I guess he was flirty before and now it just feels like "niceness" I don't think all Is lost it's just I'm assuming he's got someone else. I don't think I've ever really noticed him online loads before, just recently.

@Peanuthedz my last message was for him to have a lovely weekend. He said you too. I'll just see what happens. I know, I wish I'd made the time before he went. But I just couldn't.

@Notcoolmum I'm revenge swiping now 😂😂

lifegoes if I was away for two weeks and messaging a man i'd never met,i may lose a bit of interest and calm down on the txting. And may look at other options just because I had time on my hands. He is probably living in the moment and not even thinking of when he's home. Keep swiping but drop him a txt nearer when he's due home and hopefully he will be up for it then.

I don't know if anyone watches Amy Young on Youtube , but I think this video was one of her best! I've certainly dated guys like this ...

User I'll be honest I wasnt expecting to hear from him at all when he was away. And when he was, I kept thinking why is he texting me. Then it all got a lot. I think that's what's happened, I've just got wrapped up in the moment and now it's dying off I've only seen that. And not for what it actually is.

People on here today have made me realise. So I'm just moving on

Wow, just catching up having missed 50,000 messages...
@Azzizam - furry dad bod - haha it makes me think of one of those kids inflatable trampoline things, plus a rug on top. But whatever floats your boat!
@leonasa - that is pretty rubbish. I do think a lot of dudes just really enjoy the physical closeness, then wake up the next day and go "nah" - either that or they already had someone else and you were a bit on the side (hope not!)

@lifegoes I think @NotCoolMum's advice is good.

I'm revenge swiping too now! I went with @JeSuisPrest's very gracious message to Mr Italian and he's really annoyed me with a no worries 😉 you too - now I want to message back and say "yeah not for the kissing and hugging me when you didn't feel it mate" but that probably wouldn't be so dignified 🤬!

Just read your lost @leonasa what a cock.

It's hilarious how we try to act all gracious in our response texts. But inside we want to do a full scale rage text

Perhaps you should @lifegoes. Someone said that a woman's worst fear is that a man will kill her; a man's worst fear is that a woman will humiliate him.
But if he's been a cock, perhaps humiliation is deserved.

Arghh! I am so weak.
I have ignored Mr S messages since putting an end to whatever it was we had then tonight he messages to say he is outside in his car!!
Anyway, I'm weak and we ended up dtd. Now he's gone I realise how amazingly stupid I was and how stalkerish for him to just turn up at the door! Now he thinks we are back on, it's all about him and what he wants and he's drawn me back in again albeit briefly.

Blimey, I'm actually wondering if he is a full cluster b narcissist from the things you've posted about him and the way he has you hooked @30something.