Dating thread 151: We are the prize...

[30somethingandsingle]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

@Marlboroandmalbec34 I think MrTall is playing you. If you're a tough cookie maybe approach with caution and keep your spidey senses tuned for any game playing, otherwise I'd steer clear.

MrEngineer got back in touch last night. Would I be interested in a FWB arrangement? Errr, no mate, if I'm not good enough to be relationship material, you don't get boyfriend privileges without boyfriend responsibilities.

MrBanker is being very gentlemanly and we had a lovely chat last night about stripping woodchip wallpaper 😂. I'm so not used to this kind of chatting - I've known him 24 hrs and he's not even asked for a picture of my chest! I'm hinting that I'm free on Saturday night, but like a lot of men, reading between the lines is not his forte. I may have to be more obvious, he seems quite naive unless he's a really good player...

Aw lovemusic I hope you are ok. It’s so hard when you have feelings for someone and you can what the ‘right’ thing to do is. But it’s painful and not what you really want. You know that my Mr S sucked me back in. I just didn’t want to be without him if I didn’t have to. So I’m attempting to protect myself in the meantime. This could all go horribly wrong of course but my eyes are open.

Can you see him in person to chat things though? Is there a mid ground that works for you both.

Mr Fox has upped the ante in terms of messaging, he's very cheeky and funny (and did I mention he's hot?) swoon

I'm trying hard not to let Mr S get back in my head, he's angling to meet up on Saturday, but I've already arranged my date with Mr Fox, and he seems much more normal and less intense than Mr S.
I have to keep telling myself to be strong.

30something fingers crossed for MR Fox. Mr S sounds like a headfuck.

I have another iron - Mr Builder! He owns his own company and seems a decent person. He only has head pics on POF so I don't know whether there will be any chemistry but he is over 6 foot so that is a good start. I am hoping to meet him one evening next week. He lives locally too.

Is POF just full of spam or is it me? I seem to get countless meet me requests from young girls wearing next to nothing which are clearly just fake accounts. I'm tempted to just delete it, much prefer Match and Bumble, haven't ventured onto Tinder yet.

Urggghhh I'm having a mare with this iron who was on holiday (not sure if you remember me saying)

He's still on holiday and last week things got really hot! Sharing pictures and lots of sex talk. And also just really getting to know each other. He seemed really interested.

Then suddenly it's just all dropped off, he's not back from holiday until next week. But I'm getting the feeling he's just lost interest. Even though I get the odd message from him. I don't even know why he lost interest.

Do I just drop it and let it go now and accept he's probably just found someone else to text as he's always seems to be online.

Or do I just wait and see what happens when he gets back?

Nice to see you lifegoes. I’d be wary of getting into sex chat with someone I hadn’t met. Like the rules say it’s not real until it is. I’d try and forget him and get swiping. See what happens when he gets home?

Ant330 Get yourself on Tinder! I wouldn't ever touch PoF, it's just known as somewhere where the fake profiles and lunatics are and I think most people avoid it these days!

What about FAB? I bet there are plenty of women on there too looking for the right man and for a relationship - you can see from this thread not all of them are after a man to send body part pictures every second!

Auba thanks for that, I was hoping it wasn't just me.
I'll sort out a Tinder profile later then. I'm not sure Fab is for me, think I may be a bit too innocent and naive. I've got no intention of sending anybody a dick pic! And profiles with no picture of your face? Makes no sense to me.

@Notcoolmum I never ever get involved with that type of chat, without meeting them.

But he even said, it just felt right and natural. Now it's just gone difficult and feels like pleasantries to have a conversation.

You are right I'm just going to move on and let him be

Ant330 Fab isn't for the faint hearted. It took me a few attempts to try it properly.
But I've found people are more honest on there about what they want. And there are women like me on there who don't want a full on serious relationship but are just looking for one regular companion.
I don't bother with the profiles that have dick pics. You can choose to send a face pic with your message.
Definitely recommend Tinder or Bumble.

Love hope you're doing ok. Writing down how he makes you feel is good advice. I've done this many times and it helps give you clarity.

lifegoes I'd leave it. It was fun for both of you but I'm guessing he's lost interest. Best to leave that sort of thing until you've met.

Marlboroandmalbec34 I'd be wary but if thought you'd ghosted him then he would be unlikely to get in touch.

Oh joy. So mr Unsuitable came round. We had the nicest evening. We agreed we're in a relationship despite the unsuitability. I'm totally loved up. This is the first man I've not wanted to run away from in over a year of OLD. Sex is lovely. He smells fabulous by the way. Hairy. Just so 😍 and it's so long since I've felt this good. Like years. And then we're on our way out to do stuff out of the bedroom and he gets a phone call which means he may have to move back to his home country in a few weeks. I mean come on life. Why would you do that to me? This has happened to me in so many different situations. Something so unlikely happens. I'm a bit shocked. I embrace it. It's taken away.

Fuck I'm going back to bed. With every other man I'd be swiping again straight away. I don't even feel like doing that.

And hahaha yes I completely overinvested way too soon. You do though when it's right. 😞

I'll catch up on the thread now. I'm just so fed up

MyOld so should I just ignore him now when he's texting?

Oh @Lovemusic33. He’s definitely not worth the angst. Take some time for yourself and block him everywhere.

@JeSuisPrest stripping woodchip wallpaper is a very sexy topic. If that’s a players tactic, it’s an interesting one.

@lifegoes I’d assume that he’s found some sort of holiday fling and that’s put you on the back burner.

Oh no @Peanuthedz. I was all ready to congratulate you, and then I read the second half of your message. That’s really shit. Hopefully he won’t have to move back.

I guess this is another reason he’s MrUnsuitable.

He's Unsuitable due to age, occupation, interests, background. Everything. We kept laughing today about how this wasn't supposed to happen, it was supposed to be a one off. Aaaaaarghghhhghh

@Crustaceans I think so too, he's still texting but nothing like we were. Onwards I go

@Peanuthedz how long have you been seeing him? Does he definitely need to go? If so, could it be a long distance thing?

Peanut that's shit 😕

I'd leave it Life as he sounds a bit like he has others ...

Ant I'm in London so I know its different - way more people around! I had a lovely relationship with someone I met on POF (only ended due to circumstances changing). I much prefer the free for all messaging. Didn't come across one fake profile or scammer. I'm now on Tinder and I'm not that keen - basic stuff like height etc just isn't there. Loads and loads of married men... just my experience obvs.

Yeah I agree Batshit. It's just when he texts I feel awful just ignoring. So I'm just replying with short responses.

I've only come across a few false male profiles on pof but a lot of the men are saying in their profiles how many women profiles are fake. I was hoping for the date with mr 34 at the weekend but he's now vanished and i'm sending a few messages to others but it really is like pulling teeth. Feeling quite unattractive!

@Eesha oh only about 2 weeks! It couldn't be long distance. Ah it's ok I guess. It couldn't go anywhere really anyway. At least like this its happened before I get I too deep

This has really knocked me, feel like I've invested time and been just dropped.

Feeling low now due to it

lifegoes It sounds as though you've been swept away in a tide and then forgot most of the dating rules.

However, you don't even know how it's going to pan out - the guy is still on holiday! Maybe he needs some time to process what has happened and to enjoy his holiday and he'll come back and arrange to meet you. One of the biggest things with OLD is communication, and you need to tell him how you feel and ask if something has changed since the conversations you were having, otherwise he's sat on holiday thinking nothing is wrong.

The chances are he has been talking to multiple people and has had the sex chat with you now and has moved onto the next one. Obviously it's a horrible feeling but it's how it works with OLD, he doesn't owe you anything as you haven't met, and probably expected you to be talking to more people. Either way, whether it's good or bad you need to either walk away, or have the conversation with him.

I don't think this one is destined to end well for what it's worth - but there will be someone out there for you, just look at the success stories on the thread. If you're feeling low then take a few days away from OLD and gather your thoughts and come back better prepared.