Dating thread 151: We are the prize...

[30somethingandsingle]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Yep- separated means still married but not together imo!

putastraw I'll have a look at your profile - I'm a tired 50 something😂

My itches have been scratched with Mr Copper - and we had a happy half hour on my Tinder, swiping. He's very funny ....

Who knew there was so much love for a furry dad bod. If only all the gym selfie idiots on OLD realised. 😆

MrSG is neither furry (well he is in the legs and sometimes the face) nor in possession of a dad bod. In fact, he’s on paper really not what I thought I’d go for (I’d have said the skinny version of the dad bod was what I’d be going for). He is very good looking. But he’s also properly fit, muscular and lacking in body hair (other than in the lower half). He’s got long (gingery) hair and often sports loads of stubble/a beard (gingery of course). None of this is what I’d have listed as my type. Turns out, it is when it’s MrSG.

The bare chest took some getting used to though. I’m not convinced on gorilla like (I did once shag a very furry man, and the copious back hair did not really do it for me). But a hairy chest is a glorious thing. He does have proper man hands and forearms though. That is definitely a very desirable trait.

Mothbal breath would be unacceptable though. Smelling good is vital.

Hello all 🤗

I'm happy to give feedback to profile @MrDrummer. And would be grateful for anyone willing to reciprocate.

Soooo. It's been an interesting few weeks. A fair few first dates. Ok but essentially not worth a second one for various reasons. 2 dates with Mrslightlytooshort and he wants a 3rd but there's clear sexpectation there and I just don't know if I'm feeling it. I've enjoyed his company on the dates and there is an attraction (great kisser!) but the messages in between are dull and limited. Almost feels like he's just keeping it ticking over until he gets the shag 😬

Had a great first date last week and spent most the weekend together. He's nice but a bit intense. Lots of "I noticed you were online" type texts and some love bombing. I also think he may have a drink problem 😫 I tried to tell him he was scaring me off today and I had some niggles but he really wants to see me tomorrow to "talk". Really torn

Had a very fun date last night. Promising start and got a second booked in for next week. Lovely messages. Not too much. Flirty. Funny. I'll call him MrSmiler

I think I need to cancel Mrlovebomb don't I?

Definitely a furry dad bod for me too. Think it's an inner cave woman thing 😂

I’d say that separated means married but no longer together too. I put single as I’d never been married. Having come out of a 10 year relationship didn’t change my legally single status.

MrSG was (genuinely) separated but still house sharing when we met. And I’d split up with my ex and had to coexist in the same house while the sale went through. Neither of us were lying or cheating. So it can be the truth. But I think, if I hadn’t been in exactly the same awkward situation, there’s no way I’d have considered meeting a man who said he was ‘separated but living in the same house’. I’m glad I did, but I realize it could very easily have been a huge mess.

I’d cancel MrLovebombing @Tillyscoutsmum. Your instincts are probably right there.

Thank you @batshitcrazywoman ! I'll message you...... although it's long past my bedtime frankly!!

Thank you for the welcome @marlboroandmalbec34

@Tillyscoutsmum thank-you, I am holding off any more reviews for the moment from ladies, until I have new pics as I got called out for not smiling . Send yours through and I will be happy to take a look :)

Love the asking others on here about their dating profiles... Does it help? You're not on fab, I take it?

@MrDrummer I’ve never seen another blokes profile either, so happy enough to share. Unless you live down my road. I have a drummer in a metal band for my next door neighbour...

@putastrawunderbaby If you need a bloke’s perspective, happy to help

Well date 2 with Mr Italian was great! We definitely have some chemistry going on. Some more snogging and talk of a third date on Saturday :)

@Lovemusic33 I like dominant guys but I personally steer clear of anyone who announces themselves that way on a dating app - I think that suggests that is all they are looking for. If you're looking for more I'd give them a wide berth.

@HairyArsedMan separated def means married and no longer together yes

Thank you @Hairyarsedman I'll message you! Also totally agree that separated = married and living apart/not together.

leon - separated usually means married & wants a shag

@ComedyBoobs ha yeah that too

@HairyArsedMan I can review your profile, I'm 41 though. Had great tips from others here so happy to reciprocate!

Would appreciate some advice from you all who know what you're doing !

Have lurked for ages reading your escapades.

New to this. I'm scared but want to have a try with OLD. But I want to stay low key and not have everyone in my small town know my business if that's possible, any advice please? Different name etc? Who can see ? I'm late 40's so have not got a clue !

@BettieSweaty I’ve been surprised by the number of women that don’t use their real first names on OLD. I think you can say such a thing as above in your profile and say photos on request, but to be honest, I think you could be inundated with pic requests and potentially putting a barrier up to the genuine.

As most dating sites show you other people nearby someone local that is on there could theoretically recognise you, but I guess they would probably appreciate discretion too, and really all they’ll know is you’re looking to date.

Thanks HAM
I see what you're saying, it's just so daunting!

@hairyarsedman Actually would be ok putting a photo on but think I'll use a different name. Am thinking bumble maybe ... been procrastinating for months !

@BettieSweaty I only use POF and keep my profile hidden. If I like a guy I favourite him and see if he takes the hint and messages me. If I really like him I message him first. I didn't feel too 'exposed' that way.

And I never use my real name until we move to WhatsApp.

@BettieSweaty I felt like that when I started. I didn't put a picture up but was inundated with men who thought I was married. I just went for it then . It's up to you to use a different name but if you are putting up a picture people can see anyway so I'd just use my own one. OLD is everywhere now people won't bat an eyelid. I found bumble to be the best. Good luck

I have seen a lot of men I know on OLD...including my optician, who I am due to see for a check up this weekend (awkward!). It’s a bit embarrassing but then I figure they probably feel the same way!

Brilliant really useful advice, thank you all.

Think I'll do the pof and keep my profile hidden @JeSuisPrest .. hopefully it'll be glaringly obvious how to do that!