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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

My husband has just hit me

517 replies

namechange101145 · 10/03/2019 19:09

We had a big argument this afternoon, about a non issue, that escalated.
I went into our bedroom for some space, he followed me, I kept asking him to please just go away, he refused and kept shouting. He grabbed my wrists and pinned me down and told me never to tell him to go away in his own home again.
I left to sort my horses out, returned an hour later.
Went into the kitchen and began making dinner, assuming he'd come in and apologise.
He came in screaming at me, calling me every name under the sun. He pretended he hadn't grabbed me and I was being a drama queen. I asked if he'd be ok if BIL did that to SIL (his sister)... "only if she deserved it, like you did."
I told him I was going, ran out to the kitchen to grab my coat and he grabbed me and shoved me. I fell against the fridge and hit my head, he was screaming and swearing at me and calling me a slag.
I ran and jumped into my car.
Currently said in my car by the beach.
I don't know what to do.
He's hit me before, twice, and received counselling for this.
My parents are currently on holiday. I'm 200 miles from my close friends/family.
I can't leave this area due to my horses.
I need to go home and get my stuff. I don't even have my purse.
I'm sat here crying and crying. I just don't know what to do or where to go.

OP posts:
sallievp · 10/03/2019 20:32

You are brave and strong. You are doing the right thing.

namechange101145 · 10/03/2019 20:32

I'm sat in the waiting room. It's busier than what I expected it to be for some reason. I feel sick, so sick. He's not even tried to contact me to find out where I am.
He works within education - I'm guessing he will lose his job if he's convicted.
I just can't believe this is happening to me 😥

OP posts:
catzrulz · 10/03/2019 20:33

Sending big unmusnetty hugs OP, please do not go back to this man.
Hopefully A&E will get you the help you need.

namechange101145 · 10/03/2019 20:33

@Omahasomewhereinmiddleamerica & @GrumpyOldMare I am south west, I will pm you both thank you. Xxx

OP posts:
PickAChew · 10/03/2019 20:34

You k ow what's really dangerous about this man? He didn't just suddenly lash out in temper. He hounded you. He kept it going, even after having the opportunity to cool off. He justified his actions. Especially chilling that he wouldn't care if his own sister was attacked "if she deserved it" . This man is a dangerous, woman hating psycho.

This is why you need to get him out of your life.

If your head is hurting after the way he attacked you, make your next stop A&E and tell them exactly what happened.

anniehm · 10/03/2019 20:34

A&e have access to social workers and the police - they can help. I know you arent near me as the sea is a long way from here otherwise I have a spare room.

Daisypie · 10/03/2019 20:34

Hope you get seen really soon. Your husband has committed a crime. You are doing the right thing in getting looked after and reporting it.

Whywonttheyletmeusemyusername · 10/03/2019 20:35

Please tell them at a + e my lovely....ask them to call the police

ScoobyCan · 10/03/2019 20:37

Hospitals can be lonely places on a Sunday evening OP despite how busy it may be. You're doing absolutely the right thing in going to A&E, they'll look after you, just keep posting if you need support when they're busy. They'll hopefully triage you soon. I hope your head is ok, just a thought as you'll possibly need a phone charger at some point - do you have one in your car which can be put into a USB connector? Alternatively if it's a generic phone the staff at reception may have one to hand. X

PickAChew · 10/03/2019 20:38

He bloody should lose his job.

Hope you get seen soon.

FizzyGreenWater · 10/03/2019 20:38

OP you will be ok.

I know this seems like the end of everything right now but it's not, it's really really not.

Please make sure you just tell them exactly what happened and I hope they will automatically inform police but PLEASE if they ask you what you want them to do then say yes police, and get him removed from the house.

From what you say of your situation there really can't be another option.

He probably knows this tbh. There has already been counselling and nothing has changed - it's terrifying that he came back, after thinking things through and came and attacked you.

If there were a next time, and he was in a real spur-of-the-moment rage it's entirely possible he would strangle you or hit you hard enough to kill.

Then you'd be yet another of the two women a week who die.

cestlavielife · 10/03/2019 20:38

You need to tell police. This is the start of ypur escape. Tell the nurses everything.
Ask them to call police. Tell police everything.
If he loses his job it won't be your decision. Stop worrying about him

SuziQ10 · 10/03/2019 20:38

I hope you do inform the police. This certainly needs to be taken seriously.

& Hope you'll be ok. Please put yourself first.

Frokoko · 10/03/2019 20:38

I hope you're okay lovely xxx

FizzyGreenWater · 10/03/2019 20:39

A conviction is a long, long way away. Don't think about that right now. But FWIW, if it helps - think of this event as possibly saving him from a murder charge.

lostfrequencies · 10/03/2019 20:39

Sending you love x

Prawnofthepatriarchy · 10/03/2019 20:40

He didn't just suddenly lash out in temper. He hounded you. He kept it going, even after having the opportunity to cool off. He justified his actions. Especially chilling that he wouldn't care if his own sister was attacked "if she deserved it" . This man is a dangerous, woman hating psycho.

This is why you need to get him out of your life.

PickAChew is absolutely right. Please call the police. Two women a week are killed by a current or ex partner.

VioletCharlotte · 10/03/2019 20:44

A massive well done for finding the strength to get to a&e. It may take a while to be seen so keep posting on here, we'll keep you company. NHS staff are all trained in what to do in the instance of dv (I work for the NHS). Sadly, they will have seen it many times before, so don't feel ashamed or embarrassed about telling them what happened. They'll treat you with kindness and compassion and get you the help you need x

Thehop · 10/03/2019 20:45

Handhold from me

DonDadaOnTheDownLow · 10/03/2019 20:45

You should be able to get a mobile groom to cover the basics until you're standing again. Even if they can just rock up, do a leg count and make sure they all have hay. They can live out a few weeks until you're back on your feet. x

JaneEyre07 · 10/03/2019 20:49

Some men are just a waste of perfectly good oxygen.

You've done the right thing, OP. Get your head checked, and ask for help Flowers

rainbowruthie · 10/03/2019 20:50

Sending kind thoughts and wishing you strength Flowers

SeeYouLaterUserData · 10/03/2019 20:50

Hi OP just wanted to say hello, you are blameless, brave and I am sending you courageous thoughts and wishing you much strength Flowers

namechange101145 · 10/03/2019 20:53

Thank you all so much. I'm still waiting.
I'm so grateful to each and every person who has taken the time to help.
I've managed to sort horse care out for tomorrow which is a massive weight. The dogs are at home with him, I'm sure they'll be ok.
I honestly just cannot believe this is happening. I feel like I'm in a nightmare 😢

OP posts:
thesunwillout · 10/03/2019 20:54

I'm also South West op, I'm a fair way from any a&e but pm me if I can help.

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