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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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My husband has just hit me

517 replies

namechange101145 · 10/03/2019 19:09

We had a big argument this afternoon, about a non issue, that escalated.
I went into our bedroom for some space, he followed me, I kept asking him to please just go away, he refused and kept shouting. He grabbed my wrists and pinned me down and told me never to tell him to go away in his own home again.
I left to sort my horses out, returned an hour later.
Went into the kitchen and began making dinner, assuming he'd come in and apologise.
He came in screaming at me, calling me every name under the sun. He pretended he hadn't grabbed me and I was being a drama queen. I asked if he'd be ok if BIL did that to SIL (his sister)... "only if she deserved it, like you did."
I told him I was going, ran out to the kitchen to grab my coat and he grabbed me and shoved me. I fell against the fridge and hit my head, he was screaming and swearing at me and calling me a slag.
I ran and jumped into my car.
Currently said in my car by the beach.
I don't know what to do.
He's hit me before, twice, and received counselling for this.
My parents are currently on holiday. I'm 200 miles from my close friends/family.
I can't leave this area due to my horses.
I need to go home and get my stuff. I don't even have my purse.
I'm sat here crying and crying. I just don't know what to do or where to go.

OP posts:
Rubytinsleslippers · 10/03/2019 19:58

Please phone the police. We care.

OurChristmasMiracle · 10/03/2019 20:02

Hi OP

First of all, well done for getting out of there and somewhere safe, even if it is just your car. Now take a deep breath. Calm down. Allow the emotions to run their course. And then phone the police.

You didn’t do anything wrong. Most victims of abuse believe that it’s a one off and will never happen again and there will be good times but it will always be tinged with fear.

You have nothing to be ashamed of. Flowers

everythingisbetterafteranap · 10/03/2019 20:03

I live near Edinburgh if you're anywhere near there and need anonymous support in real life. PM if you do. Would like to think someone would step in for me if I needed it

Wherearemymarbles · 10/03/2019 20:05

*only if she deserved it, like you did

This sentence tells you all you need to know about his thought processes.

The shame is his, not yours. Please dont die from shame.

81Byerley · 10/03/2019 20:06

Please let us know how you are.

Girlinstripedpyjamas · 10/03/2019 20:11

Hospital and let them help you is a good idea. They’ll sort you out. Repeating- it isn’t your fault xx

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 10/03/2019 20:12

They will remove him OP

The day I had enough I rung the police from a place of safety, to meet me at my home . They arrived and I waited in the car whilst they entered and told him to leave . They knew he had history and I found out later, at a meeting, he had actually been charged and cautioned or something on one occasion before . They will get him out tonight for you OP.

WhentheRabbitsWentWild · 10/03/2019 20:13

Had a history of DV towards me . They had been out about 3 times during the course of us being together.

namechange101145 · 10/03/2019 20:16

Have just parked at the hospital. I drove about 25 miles an hour the whole way, sobbing and shaking. Thank you all so much. I know it's not my fault. I can't begin to express the sadness I'm feeling right now. I want to be angry, I want to hate him but I just feel completely numb.

@everythingisbetterafteranap I am probably as far away (in the UK) as you can get from Edinburgh but I so very much appreciate your message. Thank you xxx

OP posts:
Paddingtonthebear · 10/03/2019 20:17

You are doing the right thing. Keep going. I hope your head is ok

NotTheFordType · 10/03/2019 20:19

I;m in S Yorkshire. It's decades since I've done livery but would be more than happy to come and help you. It can't be more complicated than toddler (joke, I know its way more complicated but luckilly I dont have a toddler0 xx

AWishForWingsThatWork · 10/03/2019 20:20

Hopefully the hospital will help you get in touch with the police.

Please take care of yourself and leave this abusive man. Please.

wowfudge · 10/03/2019 20:20

Hopefully you'll be seen soon for a head injury OP. Sending hugs and Flowers.

TealandAbs · 10/03/2019 20:22

Haven't rtft, but OP, look after yourself. Cut this man out of your life. Call the police, give a statement, etc.

Glad you are at the hospital. Please take care. Thinking of you. Stay strong Flowers

Gruzinkerbell1 · 10/03/2019 20:23

Sending hugs Flowers Please tell the hospital exactly what happened, they will help you.

smartiecake · 10/03/2019 20:24

The numb feeling will pass and you will go through every emotion. Just take one thing at a time at the moment. Well done on getting to hospital, I hope you get seen soon.

littlecabbage · 10/03/2019 20:24

I’m so sorry to hear what a terrible time you’re having. Well done for finding the strength to seek help tonight. This is not your fault, you have done nothing wrong. You deserve far, far better than this. Good luck Flowers

everythingisbetterafteranap · 10/03/2019 20:25

That's ok OP. Just knowing people care can help.

RosaPfirsich · 10/03/2019 20:27

I hope the hospital can help OP, what a horrible situation, my heart goes out to you.

Omahasomewhereinmiddleamerica · 10/03/2019 20:28

I am in the south west, if you need someone in RL and are near me feel free to pm

Nolagerformethanks · 10/03/2019 20:28

I got out of a similar situation 2 years ago, you will feel so much better for getting away in the days to come. The weight does gradually lift and the heartache gets easier. It seems now that you need to be there for your life to work but I promise you things will fall into place and when they do you will be so pleased and proud of yourself. It's hard now but you can and will do it Smile I will be thinking of you tonight and I really hope he hasn't injured you, my ex strangled me (luckily he let go) so I know exactly what you are going through and completely understand your hesitancy to phone the police. Please PM if you want. You are stronger than you know and will come out the other side of this with the biggest smile on your face Grin

GrumpyOldMare · 10/03/2019 20:29

When you're done at the hospital (or while you're waiting to be seen) please phone the police. I've been where you re now,it's not your fault at all.
Hope your head is ok. Please let us know how you get on when you get a chance.

Mrsmummy90 · 10/03/2019 20:30

I'm so sorry. Please make sure you tell the staff at a and e and if they encourage you to call police, PLEASE do so. He needs to be shown that he can't act this way.

GrumpyOldMare · 10/03/2019 20:30

Another one in the south west you can pm if you need to.

anniehm · 10/03/2019 20:30

Call the police who can help you get what you need. Do your parents live close? Do they leave a key with a neighbour perhaps? Otherwise the police have access to emergency accommodation hotlines. Do you have acquaintances via your horses even? In these circumstances any good person would let you stay 2-3 days so you are safe and can get legal advice

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