Dating thread 149 - we live a life of oh wells not what if's

[lifegoes]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

My ex only did spooning sex for like 6 years. And it only lasted maybe 2 minutes every time. No foreplay, nothing. My ex before that took at least an hour to orgasm. Bored shitless by the time he had. Not ideal! 😂😂

Can I just check that Fab is the fab swingers site? Or am I on the wrong one?

@lifegoes yes I'm chatting to a few people already it's quite refreshing knowing there is no pressure of relationship lol

Just catching up on here and the other thread about 90 minutes to cum 🤣, it’s made me think how it’s so much harder for guys to preform compared to us woman, so much more that can go wrong and the dreaded “can’t keep an erection”, at least women can fake it and pretend they are enjoying themselves. Mr SA can last a loooong time and as a resault I ended up with thrush (thanks to who ever recommended the new gel thingy, much better today), this has resaulted in the past 2 dates mainly being spent in bed, now I do really enjoy sex but I kind of feel like the days been waisted on just one activity and the whole thing is now just about sex, I’m not sure how to turn things around? I want someone who I can go out with, enjoy activities together and have a social life together with.

Anyway, I’m keeping busy this week and will try not to over think things. Just had a really stressful meeting at work and I’m close to packing it in and becoming a undesirable unemployed person .

@Lovemusic33 could you maybe suggest something you could do for your next date rather than going to his or yours? Sorry you're having a stressful day! Hope it improves 😊

Hi guys,

Joining for some advice. Have lurked for a while and this thread is great...

Am on date 3 with a guy I met through a friend. He’s lovely and on paper the perfect man. We get on so well, chat all night and make each other laugh etc but although I find him attractive, I’ve got no romantic inclination yet or any spark! Could this come with time??
I’m struggling to work out if it’s just me being pessimistic and not giving it enough of a chance or whether I should know by the third date and it’s a sign we’re better suited as friends...

Dating is tiring!

Yes, I think I need to try and suggest we go somewhere or do something, we have made plans for previous dates but then ended up in bed which has taken forever, I think because we don’t see each other very often we are both pretty sexually frustrated when we do so we end up in bed, not good I know

@ManhattanRun I'd probably keep meeting up with him as not having a spark to start with doesn't mean it won't develop? Have you kissed as yet?

@Lovemusic33 haha it's not bad! I completely get it 🤷. But the only way to turn it around from just being sex is to stop jumping him when you see him 😉.

I need some self control 😉

Love but maybe you're forcing it to be about more than sex? Are you sure you want this guy for a full relationship ie not just sex?

Manhattan go in for the snog next time, I think then you'll both know

We had a little kiss last time, it was nice and he is a great kisser but still....... hmmmm...... just no massive fireworks! 🤷🏻‍♀️

cassette I’m not sure, of course I enjoy the sex but I don’t think I enjoy it as much as he does, he keeps telling me how amazing it is and it seems to be topic of conversation, I try and start conversations about over things and he seems to turn it into something sex related, he constantly paying me sexual complements.of course I am loving the attention but after a while it gets a bit boring and I would rather do and talk about other things. I’m not sure what I want out of it tbh, at the moment I feel as though we are stuck at the FWB type relationship.

Just joining in here.

My first OLD or anything actually, since exh. I've just been looking for fwb, got chatting to a guy (we'll call him Mr S) last week, lots of flirty messages and met briefly yesterday, had a quick fumble and we are meeting again on Friday.
It a bit daunting but exciting too. He intimidates me a little- sexually speaking. I've been very honest and told him so, told him to back of with certain types of messages etc and he's been 100% fine with that and very respectful, but I'm a bit nervous about Friday.

@30somethingandsingle where are you meeting Friday?

@ItsAMiracle2015 In a hotel bar where I'm staying. Don't get me wrong, I'm not worried about my safety (though am always aware of course) it's more his experience that intimidates me. He is very experienced where as I am...less so

Welcome Manhattan and 30something.

Manhattan - I'd give it a bit more time. I rarely get massive fireworks the first time kissing, I'd rather get them in bed to test the chemistry!
30something - Try not to think about it too much, go with the flow. Not done FWB, rather have a ONS as I'd get emotionally tied in knots.

Well, I've just make a tit of myself. So a v young guy from our local Co-op msg me on Happn. I didn't want to ignore as I often pop in for wine etc. I said Hi back and that he was too young for me. He replied, yeah I know, thought I'd just be friendly and say Hi as I often see you at work!!! That told me. Lol.

Thanks for the advice. TooOld that made me chuckle

I had also been messaging quite a few other guys, I gave my number to 1 other guy (let's call him mr psycho...!) and I admit, since being in touch with mr s, the others just aren't keeping my interest enough to continue messaging or arranging to meet for now. So I ghosted mr psycho, he just kept messaging on WhatsApp and seemed a bit weird so today I blocked him.
He has just messaged me on the OLD site addressing me by my name and surname, told me he doesn't respect me and I must be a shit parent, went on to tell me my address and say that he might well visit in future!!! Wtaf?! I'm so stupid for giving my number out but literally only did to these two guys, no one else.

Pfft TooOld, he's backtracking. Who messages on a dating app to say hi

I definitely haven't done this to a colleague and arranged something last year

I don't understand 30something, is he actually threatening you????

OMG 30something - how on earth did he find out? Surely not by just your number? That's worrying.
Warls -

*30 something
*
What have you got as your name on WhatsApp?

My friend had something similar, she had her full name on her WhatsApp. He searched and area from her dating profile. Got her address from 192.

@CassettesAreCool more of veiled threats..he said some really weird stuff and why use my full name and tell me he knows my address and may visit!?

I have no idea how he has my full address. My WhatsApp name is just my first name but google my number would pull up my surname (I just checked) but not my address, it is available out there but not easily found and not just by google.

Feel sick. It's put me right off

30 something- that’s terrifying. From your phone number? Do you have a big protective neighbour or should you tell the police? Sure someone will know. Is probably just a threat but still- definite psycho.
Manhattan - would you usually know after a kiss. Think I do!
Too old- that’s funny 🤣
Love music - agree with someone else, think he just wants fwb so if you want more maybe it’s not right?

30something what a can of worms this is. Your phone must be registered - is it a work phone or something? I've just googled my number and it's not registered so no name BUT it says that 9 people have searched for it. WTF? Did he find you on social media?

I suggest you make no response whatsoever to this guy and consider reporting to the site and the police, if what he said he knew about you is accurate. Do you have his identity (using the same methods)?