Dating thread 149 - we live a life of oh wells not what if's

[lifegoes]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Doesn't sound like overthinking shit, sounds like just THINKING.

Batshit - You are absolutely doing the right thing, whatever happens. Will you take a break and re-evaluate or jump back in?
I think we are all guilty of being slightly grateful for a date and overlooking stuff well me anyway and it's not fair on the guys either.
I'm absolutely not going to get pulled in by anything anyone says on OLD and ignore the love-bombing.
My biggest problem is that 'absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder' - I just go off the boil. But I don't want someone in my space all the time either. I find it difficult to express my feelings to guys and need to work on that. I need to work on a lot of stuff actually!

Can I join you all?

I am rather acrimoniusly separated 3 years an recently and finally divorced. About onr year after separating had a few flings with people I met irl then inspired by you all tried OLD and.first person I met ended up a 2 year relationship but ended a few months ago.

He wants to stay friends but I am struggling with that. Back on OLD and meeting Mr Florida for coffee tomorrow and have a.FWB from my fling period Mr Too Young coming tonight.

Welcome pony and yey for a 2 date w/e. Updates awaited.

shitwith - that's a tricky one as he's told you what he wants already. If he's laid back then casual dating obviously suits him. You could wait and see but you could be wasting your time. Sorry not helpful!

shitwithsugaron thanks for the welcome!

Mr Rugby sounds tricky-if you want a relationship then maybe not. But my two year relationship came from an fwb situation and though I am struggling now it's ended it was good

Thanks tooold i am trying to distract myself from the break up. It feels like I should be able to be friends but finding it hard. Hence distraction!!

Welcome to the thread pony
Glad your date last night went well too

After being dropped as a FWB by Mr tatts and feeling really disillusioned, I decided I'm going to come off everything, and just concentrate on getting myself emotionally and physically healthy.
Ironically, I had been talking to a lovely guy who I don't fancy at all, yet somehow i really want to shag. So, I now have a new FWB Mr railthin named as he is literally like a walking skeleton. However, he is amazing in bed, and we are turning out to have a lovely friendship. As I don't fancy him, and he is absolutely not what I'm looking for in a partner, I am positive I can maintain the boundary and not catch feelings. He's really happy with the arrangement too.

I'm surprised how much good having clarity of the situation is doing me. Great sex, rock solid boundaries, and no swiping for the last week has been great.

I would like to still stay on the thread tho if that's ok.

shitwithsugaron I am all with you to have distraction. I think it sounds sensible to keep on touch but have options. But it is hard to know when to end-that is what I am not sure about wirh Mr two years

coco thanks and hello!

dancing sometimes we need a Mr Railthin type thing. That is what my Mr TooYoung will be tonight!

dancing I am unfamiliar with the concept of shagging someone you don't fancy - how does that even work???

pony painful as it is, in my experience the only way to end a relationship is to sever all ties and erase all traces, so you can move on. Impossible when DC are shared, of course, but otherwise the way to go. For me anyway.

*dancing" cassettes has a good point but maybe sometimes it is just 'get under someone' -??

cassettes you are right it is just sooo hard. It is me more invested than him. Mr Too Young tonight is just trying to eraae

How can you be under someone you don't fancy though? How revolting would it be to have someone looming over you, invading your body, who does as much for you as the person behind the counter at the Co-op? (Just talking about my Co-op here, other branches may be better - no offence.)

Welcome pony - had a lovely relationship through OLD which ended because it suddenly became unacceptably (to me) long distance. I absolutely cannot stay in touch with him. I tried but couldn't get over it being over. No contact works for me (while feeling like torture at first).

shit can Mr Rugby not be your FWB while you're still swiping? Or does he cloud the issue?

I hadn't stopped looking at Tinder despite seeing Mr Sailor for 3 dates. Had been chatting a bit to people I'd matched with before him. They've both randomly cranked up their messaging. Am seeing Mr Cat for a coffee next weekend.

I'm meeting Mr Russian soon.
Had to get train and travel nearer to him.
Apparently he couldn't come to my city..
Work money bit low or something.
He says he's like to meet then goes I'm a bit low but has 100 quid well that's plenty I say.
This will perhaps be last meet if I feel he's been lying to avoid meeting me.
Will report back later.
I'll just have to say please tell me what's going on with you as I'm not sure you are talking the truth and your schedule etc etc
Plus it's been me often arranging.

cassettes i think you are right about of you actively don't fancy someone

batshit and cassette i know i probably need ro just block Mr Two Years just feels so hard.

unique1986 hope it goes okay with Mr Russian.. Remember the rules and report back!

Good luck unique

I have a date with Mr Scouser tonight. In my head I'm not inviting him back in and sleeping with him... it was one thing having a sneaky shag with the kids upstairs when I thought we were heading somewhere. But feels really seedy as FWB.

After my unsuccessful dates I'm looking forward to spending an evening with someone I know I like and fancy!!

Good luck telling Mr Indie shitwith and good luck to you love with Mr SA.

Any exciting dates happening tonight?

Back from my date/day, he showed me around his place then we went for a walk, had breakfast at a cafe and walk around the market. We did end up in bed but lots of talking, I decided not to have the chat but then it kind of happened anyway, he told me he hasn’t been using dating apps and had deleted tinder, he ask me a few awkward questions and we kind of decided not to label anything right now, it is what it is and at the moment it’s all good. I don’t think he sees me as a FWB but probably not quite relationship either, I’m happy with something inbetween. I’m sure later I will overthink everything and be stressing because we probably spoke too much (he’s great at oversharing).