Dating thread 149 - we live a life of oh wells not what if's

[lifegoes]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Hmmm... most of the guys I know aren't single.

I think a lot of people 'settle' they find 90% and dive in. They fear that they won't find the 'one'. I had a more pragmatic approach, and knew it was a numbers game.
Depends what you want? The sappy stable guy who doesn't excite , or the one who makes your heart race always.

We all make our choices

One of my boxes is 'excite , liberated , a twist of kink ' so racey pics = tick from me.

With your dude, who knows ...

I haven't messaged back.

He's alternating between sending kisses & naked photos of himself. I think he's a bit angry that I didn't want a shag, he's good looking (if the photos are to believed) & arrogant but obviously doesn't take rejection well.

Messages all via kik & I've blocked him now.

Kik.. the app of choice for all cheaters!

& used by folk who don't give their number out to randoms.

I know, but always made me think twice 're the person.
Not widely used , i only came across it via fab

I’m sure you will Life

And MIA , I am actually a decent man with manners.
Just in the world of dating it's a different game.
Your view if dating and mine , are just a little different

Eh? No. Either you’re a decent and respectful person or you’re not. You either have good character or you don’t, you haven’t had a personality transplant just because you’re dating. I agree with Notcool about your misogyny.

suburban your misogyny is showing.. not a great look. Perhaps it’s time to reflect on patriarchal bs?

Just a reality check. Not trying to be a misogynist, just the view from the other side.
I have no regrets.

Just catching up. Interesting to read @Surburban's view of it all compared to mine.

What's yours? Interested to know

Rich Would love to hear your perspective of the difference...

In a Harry Hill voice 'which is better? There's only one way to find out!'

Not had the best time with OLD in the 3 or so years I've been doing it. Tons of first dates and one night stands. Met a lot of women I did like but got the 'sorry no spark/chemistry' text the next day or was just ghosted. Had a six month thing with someone who turned out to be not so nice last year, got back on a few months ago but have just met women who seem to be emotionally unavailable or just amazed by the options they have and so want every box ticked which I think unless you're extremely lucky is unrealistic as there's no such thing as perfection.

I'm not the type of guy who's in it for just fun though, I want to go on my last first date and come off of them. Also I'm the not the type who enjoys multi-dating or even chatting to lots of different women at the same time. I couldn't ghost or even faze someone out, I've had that done to me and know what it's like so couldn't do that to anyone else.

So girls, we fall for the Surburbans but really want the Richdenerio's?

Ohhhhhh this is interesting indeed

I think a lot of unachievable wants on both sides.
Lots of woman chasing that knight in shining armour

I am (was) equally looking for the last first date, and seem to have found it. As soon as I met the one who ticked all my boxes, I made every effort to make it work.
6 months on , we are happy, and I've been 100% faithful, and that is with ex FBs ( who's numbers I deleted) offering it on a plate.

All I say to people is keep on going. Sitting at home wanking to porn hub isn't going to find the 'one' .. date , date and date some more.

God I wish this site had a block button.

And @TooOld , no you want to find the one who excites and can be tamed.

Do tell why Mia? Interested...

Personally I would take a rich over a suburban every single time.

Sad that women still fall for the misogynistic twerps in 2019. But apparently some us do.

I wonder exactly how clear you make it suburban to those that you are only interested in a one night stand with. The ones you go on to ghost? I think we have all met men like you 😴

See i like hearing the honesty of surburban but I standby what I said earlier.

He's my worst nightmare of a guy

Thanks Rich
Too Old au contraire ... we do the work and find someone like Rich

Being honest , not crystal clear. But equally, both parties make a decision.

If you make the decision to sleep with someone it's your call. No one forced it.

I'm actually going on a different tact. The multi-dating and going on 3-4 dates a week wasn't working for me and not doing my self esteem much good. I've taken a months break from them altogether and am feeling really confident about myself, I know I'm a catch in all honesty and I don't mean to come across as big headed saying that.

I've come off of Bumble and Tinder, just focusing on Hinge now as it seems more geared to those who want a relationship. It's also likely that due to the 5-6 daily likes limit it restricts peoples choices so they aren't likely to have lots of irons or doing the endless swiping.

I don't think multi-dating does much good if you do want to settle down and I don't mean that to sound disparaging to anyone who does, each to their own and it obviously works for some - I guess it also helps in stopping the over-investing too. Just think those that do seem to get into that cycle and it confuses you and lowers self esteem (even subconsciously) so doesn't present your best self no matter how thick a skin you think you have.