Dating thread 149 - we live a life of oh wells not what if's

[lifegoes]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Debatable if they were hurt. All grown adults , and actually I never totally ghosted, more lack of interest and let it fizzle.

Oh right. Didn’t realise grown adults couldn’t get hurt. Backtracking on what you’ve already said now you’ve been pulled up on it eh?

Just putting some clarity . Never a complete ghost , but being super flirty and then not, and fizzling is ghost to me.

Just trying to add a different view to the thread

Maybe you can help us from a Male perspective then @SurburbanTwist

User DTD might be a worry, I'd be scared I'd give him another heart attack

Well that's the thinking. I just came across the thread and had lots of resonance.

I feel like I want to ask you a question. But the more I type it. The more I think I know the answer ha ha surburban

Ask away... open book on the whole

I presume you know how you are coming across suburban and are enjoying the riSe you are getting.

Ghosting is crappy behaviour. I’ve been ghosted twice this week. I wasn’t hurt by either man as I wasn’t invested. But I think it was unnecessarily rude from both of them and a bizarre way to behave when you’ve spent an evening chatting about all sorts to someone. Really easy to send a polite ‘nice to meet you bit the spark wasn’t there for me’ message.

I’ve realised both dates live locally and I’m likely to bump into either of them at Tesco/coop. Probably when I look my worst 🙈😂

All quiet on Bumble. fab definitely ain’t for me, or. It right now at least. So me and Netflix it is!! Any good recommendations. I’ve watched Dear John!!

I'm just being me ... And fab is mental.
For my sins , and purely research I created a fake female profile to gauge the competition.
Christ, the amount of shite messages was unreal, equally showed how not to behave .

And Netflix, sex education is funny ! 80s/uk/American mash up

Well I'm pondering something.

I only started OLD a month ago due to a shit breakup. I've had one date which was horrific. Match with lots but no connection

One guy tho, I liked. Swapped numbers all good. I refuse to double text. So I sent the last message not met btw due to schedule. He didn't text so thought fuck it. Then he comes back after consistently liking all my insta pictures. I knew he was going away for a few weeks family thing. He said he thought I'd moved on. Over the moon I hadn't met anyone and wanted to meet up.

He's sent me a few sexy pictures nothing, over the top. I've not sent any back. But he text saying keep in touch, I really want to see you when I get back.
I'm a really confident sexual person. I'm dying to send a sexy picture (nothing over the top) but he's not text since he got there. Not that I should expect him to.

But I've sat now thinking should I just send it. Or is that desperate and looks cheap. Urghhhhh man. It's like I'm trying to play it cool. But last time I did that he thought I wasn't interested. I've not met this guy, why am I so invested.

Male thoughts?

Aww, girls, play fair. Surburban is just being honest. We've all done bad things on OLD well I have!. It's always useful to have another outlook whether we agree or not.
My MrRespectfullyYoung = MrRY - is a complete surprise. We''ve been chatting all night and I completely misjudged him. I now feel like the immature one!
MrMusic is seeing his sister tonight. Well, good for him. He complained about me not taking him seriously but seems like it's on his terms or not. So I don't feel guilty about MrRY!

Notcool it's you and I for Netflix tonight I've got wine if you've got crisps. We can Netflix and chill 😂😂

I've just started watching in the dark

Oooops! I've been messaging Mr35, being very complementary. Then, on the drive back from work I had a bit of a light bulb moment.....

I'd been messaging the wrong guy - accidently clicked on the message below Mr35's

Comedy I have literally just laughed so hard at that

Hmmmm I am not a pic collector, but equally would always like a chat to go a little pervy.

Kind of showed on the same wavelength. I totally didn't want a wallflower after years of living with one.
Some slightly flirty pic ( not nude etc) is always a winner.

I am of the opinion that most people will be having 2 or 3 flirty chats at one time so you need to make some effort.

And again, I was new to the OLD world, and sexting and pics was new to me

And @tooold, I'm a big boy so can take the criticism

Surburban should I wait a few days. He is on holiday after all.

I would only send a flirty one.

Comedy - Pmsl. It's easily done.
Surburban - Yep, I can see you can hold your own.

Well he's on holiday , but in the always connected world , does that matter?

Make his mind wander and ponder.

I was going to say what harm can it do. But from a male perspective of similar. I had a couple of dates with someone , we had snogged And sexted. She was on holiday and I sent a risque pic ( Calvin's shot getting ready) ... pushed her over the edge and binned ... so who knows

That's my worry, if I had met him and we had a connection I wouldn't even think twice. I'd be sending away.

I'm not worried about low key or high risk pictures, when you know someone or are playing the flirting game.

This has left me uncertain

If he's already shared pics , it's game on.

Unless it's off his train collection or dead mother clothes.

Plenty of ways ... ' how's the holiday ? All alone in bed here... sigh. Pic of chest under duvet ' ...

Fuck I'm cheesy

Nah I've done it haha, I've had topless bed shot. I've got nothing to lose.

Thank you @SurburbanTwist this is why we need more men on here

Comedy 😂😂😂

I'm in bed, watching Celeb Apprentice from last night - rock and roll!!

lifegoes - not being sexist or anything but I think men are more than happy to receive a sexy pic. Gets them thinking. But not just randomly. Maybe after a bit of chat then 'Here's what you're missing'!

I was going to say , if that's who you are , then you need someone similar.
If it scares someone off , then they are not for you anyway.

Life is too short to compromise , we don't need coy and prudes ... well unless you do , and then you probably wouldn't consider the sexy selfie!

Netflix and chill it is lifegoes 😂😂
I’ve never sent a risqué photo, or received one...