Dating thread 149 - we live a life of oh wells not what if's

[lifegoes]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Gah so my date has now asked if we can leave it until the weekend. Guess I’ll stay at home and mope then! Good luck to anyone else out on dates tonight.

MIA it is the weekend, what's he talking about?

Suburban it's interesting to hear a guy's perspective, especially one who has found someone special eventually on OLD: congratulations and thank you.

Re sausage dogs (well any dogs really), I don't know where I would be without mine, they make the ups and frequent downs of OLD/single life much more bearable even if the older one does leave some interesting deposits for me to find when I stagger in from a sleepover date

Went for my coffee date this afternoon. Nope, back swiping. Lovely guy and smelled lovely. But too slim and his pics were remarkably well lit shall we say. I don't think either of us thought it was a win overall. It wasn't horrible at all, he's nice. Just not for me. Oh and I was basically interviewed very efficient but err no

Cassettes No idea. He’s giving me cold feet though. So agree on the dog front! Wouldn’t be without mine.

WarIs All good experience even if he’s not for you!

Yy it was half an hour away so at least I'm building my confidence driving to strange places I'm dreadful behind the wheel

War

@Cassettes - its a challenge , and I can see why some get disillusioned, particularly woman who have to deal with married dudes on the apps etc.
I was always very pragmatic , had some clear boxes I needed a potential long term to tick, could have met that first date or never.

I do however think that OLD makes us too demanding and quick to move on. Your date is 80% what you want, so you already know that a quick swipe and you can find the next one tomorrow. Pre OLD you might have given the 80% a second date or more to see....

I did treat some dates badly (as in ghosting post ONS) , but I just always found it hard to say 'sorry, you were hot enough for a ONS, but not to date'.. sounds terrible I know

Ah suburban I hope karma doesn't get you re the ghosting! But we've all done things we're not proud of, I'm sure, on OLD. It has the power to distort your moral compass.

And I really agree that OLD can make people too demanding, always looking round the corner for the next opportunity. This does depend on location though - out here in the sticks, I've learnt to be a bit less picky!

I did treat some dates badly (as in ghosting post ONS) , but I just always found it hard to say 'sorry, you were hot enough for a ONS, but not to date'.. sounds terrible I know

It doesn’t sound terrible, it is terrible. There’s no excuse not to let someone know you don’t want to take it any further and even a coward can send a text.

Mr Sailor is happy to take a rain check .... and I don't feel disappointed about not going 😕

Am chatting to Mr Curry - who is flirty and probably a bit more 'me'

Yes , I know it's terrible. Just being honest in my dating experience.
And hoping karma doesn't play its part. I have something great going on.

I do however recommend OLD, but as above location helps. London possibly makes it easier

Bstshit Mr Curry, what's the reason behind his name.

Surbunban I like the honesty, I think all people do things that on reflection we wish we had done differently. Hopefully you wouldn't treat anyone like that again.

I'm sat swiping talking to a few new irons, but nothing is hitting me like wow. So I've got a glass a wine and still not heard from Mr Fit as fuck. I know he's on holiday but still ha ha

I'm kind of hoping I'm done with OLD.

I had a ton of fun, had some amazing dates and ultimately no one got hurt.

@lifegoes, you never know who might say hello next. In it to win it and all that jazz.

And just as a comment, I always hated 'rules', not shagging until 3rd date etc, always felt like a forced rule. And sometimes became a bit of a challenge to break it. I'm more a go with the flow kind of guy

@SurburbanTwist totally true and that's the point of OLD. It's all a numbers game really.

Most women I know don't have that rule now, it's right when it's right

I met a lot who claimed that rule at the beginning of the night.
Wine , gin and flirting my weapon of choice!

I'm a firm believer that in this world, OLD is pretty much the only way to date. I couldn't imagine trying to pull in a bar etc

ultimately no one got hurt.

Apart from the women you had ONS with and then ghosted, you mean?

I'll be honest I'm a very open minded person but you are my worst nightmare @SurburbanTwist ha ha

He's Mr Curry because we have the same favourite curry!

God knows what Mr Sailor's 'rule' is - no sex for a year, probably 😳

Debatable if they were hurt. All grown adults , and actually I never totally ghosted, more lack of interest and let it fizzle.

And @lifegoes, I'm actually a lovely date ! Never lied as to my intentions. Never made any promises

Well you assume no-one got hurt Suburban, but it's difficult to see how someone you ghosted after a ONS wasn't at least a bit hurt. If what posters have said on here is anything to go by, some at least were possibly a lot hurt. The fact is many people - men and women - do not have particularly thick skins, depending on experience. If the first guy I shagged after my 30 year marriage had ghosted me I would have been completely devastated, and would quite likely have given it all up as a bad job. Thank goodness he was an absolute gent

@batshit... life is too short for coy dates or shit sex.
Move on

And yes, I do assume. But what can you do.

I must say for someone who had been out of the dating game for 20 odd years, coming into the world of OLD was nuts.
I'm sure my old mates thought I made up most of my dating tales

No @SurburbanTwist you are too cocky and game playing. That's a total off putting for me.

Batshit. Makes sense, I did think it would be more exciting 😂. Oh let Mr Sailor, sail off

@lifegoes, yes probably true ... some like it , some don't.
I'm not being cocky, but I know I can play the OLD world very easily, having the ability to chat flirty shite on WhatsApp has it's benefits. And makes for a good first date.

Being honest , loved the chase and flirt alot

I'm off to see mr garden gate on sunday,as a friend. He has sky and the football team I follow is playing. He has txt a bit since I finished it and no sign of seedy! Why couldn't he have been like this last week.

If it wasn't for all his health issues,diabetes,heart attack and bad joints(won't include the lack of stiffy lol) he would be a good 80% right