Dating thread 149 - we live a life of oh wells not what if's

[lifegoes]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

I feel like I've totally got my posts messed up! And I've replied to an old post - so excuse my wittering on the previous page.

That sounds about right Crustaceans! When I go to the gym it's usually lads looking at their muscles, or lifting a weight and getting their mate to take a picture of them - don't they realise they're on the top ten profile picture turn offs!?

warriorprincessandwidowed sorry to hear about your husband. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us. I hope we continue to bring you a little comfort and entertainment.

BatshitCrazyWoman that would annoy me so much. Hope you manage to sort out a time to suit you. And he's worth the effort!

Notcoolmum that was very not cool of your date to abandon you. Hope you're ok.

Not sure what to make of my date last night.
He was much better looking than his photos. I actually thought "I fancy him".

But he spent the first half of the date not looking at me and barely saying anything. He was giving off vibes that said "I don't want to be here". It made me feel really awkward.

He warmed up a bit when I asked about his job. And I was told all about it in great detail. Not very exciting!
We managed to chat about a few other things and he started to ask about me.

The date lasted about an hour. I felt we had run out of things to say.

Then today he sent me a lovely message saying how much he enjoyed meeting me and would love to see me again.

I'm not sure what to do. I'd be quite happy to snog him etc but I don't want to listen to talk of work again. He's after a relationship not fwb arrangement.

@LMNOhh 😂😂😂 I've decided to wait to see if he messages me whilst away.

Just trying to catch up

@Notcoolmum oh my days. He left you 👊🏼

MyOld if he’s likely to bore you to death then maybe don’t see him again, although it might have been nerves and a 2nd date might be more relaxed? For me even a FWB has to be a bit interesting and hold a conversation or I will get bored quite quickly. I think it’s one of the reasons I find it hard to hold down a relationship, if someone isn’t interesting to listen too it makes me feel like I’m falling asleep and I start thinking about all the other things I could be doing on my own 🤣

Aubu - I look daft in hats but I'd wear one for you! Lovely positive post.
myold - That's a bit weird. Maybe he's a bit shy on a 1st date? Hopefully he'll warm up quicker next time.

Well, MrMusic has gone very cool on me. I don't understand. I feel like I've upset him. He has his kids this w/e and wants the chance to talk to them about me before introducing them, which is fair enough. But the lack of contact is pissing me off.
So, been chatting to a 38 yr old (Happn doesn't seem to have any filters) and he's keen to see me. Not sure what to do.

auba great update!gives hop to us all.
too have you tried messaging him?is he replying?maybe try and arrange a date with someone else for Saturday night so you don’t waste your evening but I completely understand why he wants to approach things sensitively with his children-I wouldn’t be keen to introduce anyone to my children for a few months and once at the exclusive stage x

koko - I sent a 'Morning' msg at 7.40am and he's still not replied.
Looks like I have a date tonight now.

👍 on tonight’s date. maybe just wait and see if he comes back to you but carry on collecting more irons in the meantime!

@TooOldForThis67 sorry I can't remember the back story with you and Mr Music but if you're still dating others/ on the apps etc then do his kids need to know about you? How old are they?
I only introduced my bf to mine once we'd talked in depth about a future together and we'd been completely exclusive and off the apps for a good few months. Might just be me, but I don't understand the need to involve children if you're still not serious enough to be exclusive.

My god. Not sure if anyone remembers an iron who I had swapped numbers with. He was so much sending over 20 messages whilst I was away from my phone.

Told him I wasn't interested that it was too much. He then ignored that and invited me to his house. I told him no and to leave me alone. He then blocked me and blocked me on Instagram.

Today he's unblocked me sent a message on both asking for another chance. I've had to block him. He's then found me on POF an hour later. Saying "please I just want to fuck you" then next message "how's your day" then "why are you so stuck up, you have mental issues"

Had to block him on there.

👀👀👀👀👀👀

Warrior- so sorry 💐
Too old- I agree with wishy. Why tell kids if not exclusive? Surely no rush?
My old- bored after an hour would be enough for me.

warriorprincessandwidowed my heart breaks for you and your children, I'm so so sorry. Like another PP, MN really helped me in dark times, knowing there are wise, warm and (on this thread) ever so slightly crazed people out there and a hug each.

MyOld sounds like nerves to me, maybe worth another turn around the grounds if you fancy him.

TooOld I'm with wishy on the telling kids thing, and also as you've only just entered a 'relationship' how weird is it that his communication style is already causing you to second guess? Surely it shouldn't be so hard at this stage?

shitwith Mr Bony just sounds wrong on so many levels, good decision.

Batshit I think you may have to sail away from this one...

@lifegoes Thst sounds dreadful. ‘please I just want to fuck you’. 🙄 definitely block everywhere.

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking Maybe he was a bit nervous or something. I’d maybe give him a second chance (on the basis that you do fancy him). But no more chances of he’s still tedious.

@shitwithsugaron My mum did say: ‘about his hair...’ to me when she first met him. 😂 I’ve now decided that i really like slightly gingery, even if it does go really quite gingery in the sun.

@lifegoes wow haha! Desperation is so attractive isn't it? I don't understand why he doesn't have a queue of women wanting a go on him 🙄🙄
What a plonker 😆

MyOld I would instantly to think he's nervous. It was a running joke how I wouldn't look at a date for the first two dates, until she made me sit opposite her in Nando's and then I had no other choice! It's hard because you want to be this cool person who can do eye contact and flirt - and the truth was I really did like her but I needed to come out of my shell and talking about work or a hobby or something I'm passionate about does make me do that and then the eye contact begins. It does sound as though he's similar to me in that regard and I can totally relate.

I think he's worth another date, if he did have a lovely time and you do fancy him, it's worth one more shot to see if he can improve his conversation. What's he like when he's messaging you? Is there any flirting there and is it back and forth? I'd certainly give it another go anyway.

I think I’m with everyone else on telling the kids. MrSlightlyGinger and I told our kids when we’d decided it was a serious long-term thing. If you’re not exclusive then he should really hold off on that.

@Crustaceans and @wishywashy6

I actually laughed and thought, I would rather cut out my own vagina than have you come anywhere near it.

I do agree about giving him another chance MyOld if you like him. But if your gut is saying no. Then don't waste your time

Tooold I don't like he's making you second guess. I also hate that feeling of thinking you have done something wrong. It all sounds a bit much for me sorry 😘

Delurking to say that I'm still with MrAbs after nearly 4 months and still get the fizzy knickers everytime I see him. Proper BF & GF - we went exclusive after our first "date" (was meant to be a hook up and we'd only started chatting late the night before we met the next day). Funnily enough we got each other exactly the same Valentine's card "I can't believe we're still together, you were only supposed to be a one night stand"

Mini break booked for our little gang of 5 during the school holidays at Easter (his suggestion), we'll see how well we get on after 4 days in a caravan .

Love reading everyone's updates - the good, the bad and the ugly.

MyOld agree with the others, maybe one more short date ....?

(My hectic day has allowed me a sit down and a sandwich for 10 minutes - happy days!! Mr Sailor hasn't listened to my message - I just checked out buses and trains and it'll be nearly 8.30 before I get there, and that's giving myself 45 minutes to get in, showered, dressed and face on. I could book a cab but would need to do that now and I don't have his address. I'm pissed off he didn't think I might want to organise myself for tonight before tonight!!

@JeSuisPrest awww so happy for you! Weirdly I actually thought to myself the other day i wonder how you and MrAbs were getting on!
Me and Mr24 are 8 months in now and the fizzy knickers are definitely still there

I actually laughed and thought, I would rather cut out my own vagina than have you come anywhere near it.

😂 you should have told him that before blocking him!! 😂😂