Dating thread 149 - we live a life of oh wells not what if's

[lifegoes]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

I'm 42 and have it set 37 to 45

Ccgirr that's what worries me going so much younger. I don't want more kids

Wishy re my concern above about going younger. But I have to agree, some younger men have their head screwed on and also may have kids

Love I get that, I prefer older men. But I'm
Wondering if I'm not being open minded enough to at least give these younger ones a chance.

lifegoes - I'm 51 and MrMusic is 47. My settings were on 45-55. I prefer slightly younger. MrYoung was 33, met him on Happn, great body and sex but too immature for me.
I guess you could tweak your age preferences and see what happens, age is just a number, it's their outlook on life that matters more.

That's a great point tooold let's see what toy boys I can find ha ha

I did a 10 year span: 35-45. I was 37. I ended up with a 38 year old. Turns out I was only actually interested in people in the 37-39 category but that would be a ridiculous OLD setting. 😂

tooold Can you not invite him to yours for dinner? I tend to do that on the 3rd. Ok 2nd date

lifegoes I'm mid 40s. Have said I would be interested in someone 8 years younger or 8 years older but really lifestage would matter more. I would prefer someone to have kids and an empathy for where I am with my life.

Having said that desperate guys from 25+ seem to contact me for sex (not sure I want a FB or FWB) and the guys I like from 40 - 45 see me as too old even if they don't want more kids!

It's all arbitrary, in real life I could go out and make a connection with a guy and I don't think age would matter. I would be self conscious of my obvious mum body with a guy who was too young. I exercise and keep in shape but I do wonder what young guys would think of my saggy tum.

@Crustaceans that would be a little picky

I'm 42, settings are 35-54 on Tinder and 35-58 on Bumble because tinder just does 55+ which includes a lot of too old options. But I'm v unlikely to look twice at younger than me, I prefer older but would make exceptions... And there's a tiny bit of me that thinks an older one might be more appreciative in some ways . And the 37's IME are often nice looking but juggling young children, which I'd prefer not to be an issue. Grandads are OK by me. Next date is over 55 but looks younger than a lot of the 47s.

I'm 54 and have 45 to 57 as my settings, I think. Random! For FWB 38 upwards is fine ...

Mr Sailor left me a voice message with various options for tomorrow night. When he'd exhausted them he offered dinner at his and Netflix as a sort of last choice. He didn't sound super keen about it, but I'm going with that I think. I might regret it but I think it's a good idea to be in a place where things could happen 😂

Also I'm looking for someone fairly placid really. So someone who wants to travel the world etc, mountain biking every weekend and camping is just not my type. I'm an old lady inside, a meal out, theatre or cinema, etc is quite enough excitement for me. I like to bake on my days off, not get stoned or do crossfit

😂 WasIs I love the cinema, theatre and comedy clubs too. I'm not sporty but do Pilates and HIIT so am fit. Someone who wanted to hang off a mountain in their spare time isn't for me! I also have slightly old fashioned musical tastes (and I sing) so live music isn't really my thing either. I have no interest in tribute bands and the like!

Stealth that's what I worry about with younger men, my body. I'm in good shape but I won't ever lose my mum tum. Unless I'm lay flat arms out stretched it's not as flat as I would like 😂

War always better when they look younger but yet older. I love travel and sport. But I'm not one for going out partying all weekends and I'm concerned early 30's might still do that.

Batshit is getting her leg over ha ha

I've set my limit to 30-47 and my boy, is there more choice 😍

*WarIsPeace" I am similar. I'm 43, settings are 37-53. Any younger than 37 they feel like a different generation and our cultural references are all different. I also think that anyone much younger would not be able to have learned all the filthy things I need and I don't want to be starting to teach them 😁

Gah. Bold fail, sorry.

I tweaked my settings to older when I met up with a 47 and realised I felt a bit disappointed that he looked younger than his pictures . He looked nice, but I just prefer the more mature looking ones.

Meh - I've found the younger ones are more adventerous!

Meh oh that too. Already fully trained please and able to take a hint

Are you telling him to his face shitwith? It's horrible thing to do but best not to drag it out, whatever your feelings for MrRugby are. Hope it goes OK

Oh god so guy who was meant to be fwb with but had only dtd with for one night contacted me - had been in touch last week about meeting this week some time - and I had to be honest that I had met someone&wouldnt be right to meet again-want to give my guy a chance as really hoping this could be the one for me-he took it well but made me feel like I had lied to him and was jumping from one guy to the next.probably shot myself in the foot as am completely putting all my eggs in one basket.

I'm 51 and I've found that men my age and older are just too 'old' for me. Probably because my friends are all in their forties.
I also tend to attract a lot around 37-44. Most are just after a quick hook-up. But my last two relationships were with men who were 41 when we met.

I'll have the sporty ones that no one else wants. Although I draw the line at camping. 😁

Re age, I always judged on the person rather than age itself. Even though he's only 26 he's in a good managerial role in his job, has been paying his own mortgage since he was 21 and is building his own business alongside his normal job. He doesn't really drink, isn't into clubbing or anything. I still am 😂

Oh koko I feel your pain. It's so hard isn't it. I'm in the same boat, feel like I've been leading my other irons on. Haven't plucked up courage to tell them anything yet. I'm ashamed I've ghosted a couple.

😂 lifegoes just watch, I'll be back here on Saturday morning with a tale of woe ....

I made it clear to my possible FWBs that I was dating as well. They've been quite helpful with a male point-of-view sometimes 😂