Dating thread 149 - we live a life of oh wells not what if's

[lifegoes]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Place-marking!

Will read and catch up with all later!

shitwith - purely for amusement purposes - I'll do what I can!

No they aren't initials, just shorthand to keep them all straight in my head! - not that I EVER thought I'd be saying that!

tooold which iron is that?

Haha shitwith I've been thinking the same!

Ooh tooold this is a turn up and very exciting. Do tell us more.

Date with Mr Artist tonight if my stupid headache allows it. 3 new convos on Bumble, not developed enough to be irons.

I tried FaB again last night but going to come off it. I think if I wasn’t seeing Mr S, who by default has become FwB by virtue of not being able to offer a full relationship, I might be more inclined to check it out. But for now it’s a no.

How are everyone’s weekends shaping up. I have no dates after tonight...

Just for shitwith...

Mrs TW is now Mrs flakey-but-snogable

Mrs HC is now Mrs LongBlondeHair

Mrs GD is now Mrs Non-communicative - All her messages are a couple of words - no more than a sentence. Maybe she is saving it all for the date?

Mrs YI is now Mrs Yogi (no she isn't a bear! )

Mrs JT is now Mrs Complicated!
HTH!

Koko - I'm not sure I ever named him but I shall call him MrMusic. I dated him last year after I split with MrWow.

Hi everyone. I posted on last thread I think and whilst I don't post very often I have been keeping up with all your exploits.

I am becoming very disillusioned with old and am struggling to believe there are any genuine people out there.

In the last few weeks alone I've been stood up by one iron, dropped by another because I once again made it clear that I was not in it for only a hook up (despite having made this clear from the outset), had a returning ghoster beg me for another chance, only to disappear again and another appears to have disappeared because presumably he's realised I'm not going to shag him on the first date - we were supposed to be meeting Friday night, he offered for me to go his neck of woods. I declined and offered to meet half way. He offered to come to my neck of woods, I again declined and offered to meet half way. He's now gone quiet. I'm seriously close to giving up and remaining single and just getting more cats 🤦‍♀️

Its fascinating to see this side of OLD

I think I'm going to die alone. I'm not doing cats though but instead thinking of getting sausage dogs.

mister but if you take pictures of you and your sausage dogs and post them on your OLD profiles you will drum up more interest, and thus the cycle continues.

never sorry it’s not going well but you are sticking to your standards so bettter to be doing this than accepting less than you want/deserve. This will reap rewards further down the line I’m sure.

Any decision made on Mr Indie shitwith

lifegoes how frustrating to wait for 3 weeks for Mr Fit. What on Earth is he doing for so long. You may have been swept off your feet by the time he comes back!!

Notcool I know! I just thought why come back then 🙄 he's away on holiday. Fingers crossed I have 😂

How's things with you notcool

@Neverexpected2 sorry you are feeling disillusioned. I think it's important to keep a happy balance with the real world so not to overinvest in the sometimes crappy online world. I quite enjoyed the break I had from it all, definitely gave me a thicker skin.

Oooh tooold interesting. Looking forward to hearing more.

man I too am so excited you have named your irons

So I am out on Saturday eve with a few girls for early dinner in the city where Mr Big lives ( named for his 🍆 size) he has asked if he can meet me after for a drink and said I can stay over if I want rather than train home as I planned, just hope my sis agrees to overnight babysitting

I have a date with a new Iron on Tuesday I will call him Mr Lawyer. He seems really nice, flirty but no sexting we are going for drinks and food

Mr Young Messiah (named for our shared love of Life of Brian and 10 yrs younger) who I have been messaging for over a month came back last night and said he is really looking forward to Tuesday ( we had agree it over 2 weeks ago but he said I had to remind him closer to the time) it seems he has remembered so I have now double booked 😂

lifegoes that is a frustratingly long wait!

Sorry you’re feeling down never old does seem like a rollercoaster at times!?

hi everyone - Im back in the world of OLD - after 8 months with someone, turns out he is a total abuser arse! Anyway, Ive done some work on 'me' and last night went on a date with a nice guy.

Not given him a name yet, mrdubai I think I will call him. We will see how things pan out.
Not RTFT but will try to later today.
Wishing everyone all the very best in this mad world of OLD.

Sounds promising tooold for a moment u thought it was Mr BE that had tried crawling back😂
shit have you decided what you’re doing re Mr Indie yet?
never I’m sure it’s bit just you that’s felt disillusioned with OLD and think what’s the point - I am usually in that state of mind about it - too many people with fundamental flaws,or the odd few that I’ve met that are nice are just completely not on my wavelength and no chemistry. That being said I’m hoping my luck is changing as I have everything crossed that my iron (the one from my past) is the real deal 🤞-so far he seems to tick all my boxes more than anyone else ever has!

Malboro I know! Story of my life ha ha.

For those getting frustrated at OLD. I'm still very new to it, and have experienced all the ups and downs.

But it's remembering that's the point of OLD. You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find a prince. Don't give up, just keep going.

TooOldForThis67 that sounds exciting.

Jaxinthebox welcome back. Good to hear your return to OLD has gone well so far.

Neverexpected2 sorry to hear it's not going well for you. Remember it isn't you, it's them. It's just unfortunate that you've had a run of bad luck.

I have a date tonight. With someone who seems nice and intelligent. This is from POF not Fab so I have to remember that he probably wants a proper relationship!

Meanwhile on Fab, I have too many who want to meet me. I've turned down quite a few because they were too far away or tried to start sex talk. But I'm still left with 4 that seem keen, intelligent and respectful....so far.

Never had so much choice!!

@Neverexpected2 it is a complete minefield but there are genuine people on there. Like lifegoes said, you've just got to kiss a few thousand frogs before you get someone decent. If you imagine walking into a busy club/ bar and having to chat with/ date every guy in there, likelihood is there'd be a large proportion of tossers there too but there might be one or two decent guys amongst the rest. That's effectively what you're doing while OLD just on a completely different interface. It's also worth remembering that the guys are then doing that back to us so when you look at it that way, it's a complete numbers game - not only have you got to find someone who ticks all your boxes, you also have to tick theirs for it to work.

I also think (and I have no real evidence to back this theory, up but it's my own personal experience and I know people who have said the same!) it's more likely to happen when you're not expecting it. If you pin all your hopes on meeting someone on there you're setting yourself up for disappointment. I personally never took it that seriously, it was all about meeting new humans. Nothing else. I embraced just going out and meeting new people but had zero expectations with any of it. If I got stood up so what? I enjoy my own company so I'd take myself to the cinema or something instead, no biggie - their loss. I even enjoyed the dates with the weirdos and nobheads as they've provided amusing stories to laugh about.
I am in a relationship now with someone I met on badoo but when we first began chatting/ dating I really didn't think we'd end up where we are now. In fact I think as we got talking the reason it felt so comfortable and easy with him was because he didn't try indicate once he even fancied me, I liked that. No cringey flirting, no sex talk. It was just like chatting with a mate. I went into our first date happy to just make a new friend and now we're nearly 8 months in.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, to all those struggling and finding it demoralising, just try and enjoy it for what it is. If something comes of it then great, if not you're still a fabulous wonderful person and there's probably another fabulous wonderful person out there somewhere waiting for you to find them

Wow that was long I'm so sorry

@wishywashy6 that's so perfectly put.

I agree with your theory, everyone who I have had a relationship with (good or bad) I've met unexpectedly. The more you focus on trying to find someone the more frustrated you become. So use OLD as just something you fit.

Yessss I love hearing good OLD stories

Good luck with your date tonight MyOld