Dating thread 149 - we live a life of oh wells not what if's

[lifegoes]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Thanks for the replies supercali77 and wishywashy6 (I don't know how to @ people). I went out to see a friend and get away from it about 9 last night and haven't chdecked the app since so going to have a look at new messages now

I think a lot of the women on fab are dtd and then leave kinda women
A couple of the men I'm messaging have said something similar. Also that a lot of women just like to chat but not actually meet.

I found this surprising. But then it's all new to me anyway.

Tonight's cancelled Fab date has asked if we can meet next week. Hopefully that will happen. But in the meantime I have another lined for the weekend.

Blimey 31 messages on FaB and all I’ve done is put up a name, age and location. I think I’m too scared to reply to any!!

Notcoolmum that's what I was like the first couple of times I tried Fab.
Once I got some courage, then I deleted all the ones that were too far away. Then I deleted the ones without a face pic attached.

That left just a handful. I looked at their profile to see if we were after the same thing. If their profile was just dick/sex pics then I deleted them.

I'm treating it the same way as I would any of the apps. Normal chit chat, meet quickly and go from there.

@Notcoolmum prepare to be inundated every time you go online 

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking yes I think a lot of the women are more 'hardcore' than me, I quite like a cuddle afterwards!

My rule for verfications are never write anything you wouldn't put in a birthday card to a great aunt.

Graphic ones such as 'she took every last drop' always make me think " too much info" and the frequent "treat her with respect" I tend to view as a veiled threat (and why wouldn't I anyway?)

You can tell the "no chance" ones from women to men " met Steve at the *** social - a genuinely nice guy and really fun and good company" which translates as "thanks but no thanks"

I can't really imagine what it must be like to be so 'hardcore' as to not want at least a cuddle afterwards, male or female, but each to their own I guess. If I go back on Fab I think it's going to be one of my screening questions: eats, shoots and leaves or what?

Ah, cuddles... I remember them...

Cuddles after are as just as important as foreplay as far as I'm concerned.

Cassettes pmsl

I've seen women advertise meets where they want the man to come over , have sex and leave. No foreplay, not even conversation and certainly no cuddles.

I have excellent and respectful veris 😂😂 They all talk abour me as a person too, which is sweet!!

So maybe actively preferring NOT to have cuddles is part of some particular kink almost? Or, perhaps some of the women who advertise this are married and don't want the guilt/complication of emotional closeness, just the mechanical sex side. Each to their own.

shit your Mr Indie situation is .... shit 😕 are you still swiping?

I agree about the veris on Fab that say someone is 'a lovely, genuine guy' after a social meet - definitely 'no chance' 😂 I think the multiple veris for the same day could be because it happened in a club type situation? It's a casual sex site, so nothing about it really bothers me !

I've decided that if nothing even vaguely physical is suggested or happens on my date with Mr Sailor on Friday then I might have to move on 😕 Don't know what/where the date is going to be yet though. I also get the feeling he's comfortable with a once a week date type thing going forward, and sex only once a week isn't enough for me ...!

BCW i am sure you are a lovely person - men realise that often it is more important to praise the woman's character than her performance/physical attributes. Women who are being verified after a gang bang are less likely to be bothered about how they are perceived. Men also tend to be nice because it may influence future partners views as to whether he is someone that that woman might want to meet.

Man4 excellent news - glad you're getting lots of response to your profile 😁

OMG verified after a gang bang!!??? what horror is this???

Arrrgh!!! Mrs TW has just cancelled!! .

She said to rearrange for next week, but I'm beginning to think she is a flake (see, it's not just men! )

No idea what I'm going to do tonight now

CassettesAreCool I got a nice message on Fab from a very tasteful (and tasty) looking torso pic. I looked at his profile and it was all of 'parties' with lots of naked people.
I logged off quickly just in case he realised I had looked

Man4allseasons that's a shame about Mrs TW. I think I'd be saying no thanks to her. You seem to have plenty of other options

Man did you say Ms TW had only recently broken up with someone? I don't think she's ready for a relationship, if so.

Cassettes - there is currently a thread on Fab where a husband is organising a gang bang at the request of his wife - nothing too big - just 3 or 4 men.

It's a whole world of wtf on Fabs that even sometimes makes us hard boiled members think WTF

Mister words fail me. I hope they all have a great time, but this is TMI for me. As far as swinging websites go right now - I'm out! Need a Cuddles app

myold Maybe, but rule 4 seems to have my name on it..

Bats I agree with you, but it was just a drink and a chat..

Isn't Fab fun? I've messaged (polite and light hearted) several prospects, but just not getting anywhere. Too much competition methinks.

Deep breath, onwards and upwards..

AAARRRRGHH! How difficult is it to strike up a conversation on a dating app? Bumble - messaged a couple of guys I matched with - one unmatched me, two didn't respond.

Fed up with going to the effort thinking up an interesting opener so the latest one I just said "Hi (name) with a smiley face and I just got "hello" back. I just can't be arsed to do the thinking all the time!

Man and Sunshine I think it's the hardest thing about OLD, the feeling that you are all alone trying to communicate effectively with complete strangers, like howling in the night. But it's a numbers game, there are real people out there, you'll find them. And remember Rule 8

I got to thinking before I deleted tinder. There were men I chatted to on there and I know I was a bit brush offish and none of it was down to them. Some of them I would have been really into except I was already 2 days invested in someone else and I find it hard to swing more than 1 convo at a time. I'm sure men must have the same trouble. Get involved in planning a date or moving onto WhatsApp and just don't have the mental energy to deal with another chat. It's crap because it leaves people feeling like...whats the point. This doesn't work. In reality I think it's more a case of timing