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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Did I react to this ‘breakup’ well?

168 replies

Optimistic199 · 02/03/2019 23:26

I met a guy & we really got on. He would make lots of effort & there was a lot of chemistry.
Anyway, this morning I was on watsap and so was he.: whenever I would go offline so would he and when I would come back online so would he. He usually watsaps me as soon as he wakes up but today he didn’t I was about to say hello when he randomly text me ‘I don’t want to speak to you anymore’

I was a bit baffled but just said lol ok to which he replied ‘I’m serious’ I then replied back saying yes I’m serious too ok. And I then deleted him which I know would have really wound him up ( he would have seen my watsap pic go) he then deleted me too as his also went

It was a bit weird. We spoke on the phone last night for a couple of hours (as usual) and just on Tuesday he kept on saying he wanted a baby with me!!!

I have no idea why he would just randomly text me that. I would like to know why he had a sudden change of heart but I didnt want to embarrass myself so just left it but part of me thinks maybe he was testing me to get a reaction? This is something he’d do

Was I wrong to go with what he said without an explanation??

OP posts:
Helpmedecide123 · 02/03/2019 23:27

He sounds way too high maintenance. Lucky escape, if you ask me.

Samind · 02/03/2019 23:29

No. You're better off rid. No matter his reasons he's totally fobbed you off without second thought. Hardly worth your time thinking about. You deserve better OP. He sounds like a right coward to me. Is there a chance he has someone else?

wishywashy6 · 02/03/2019 23:30

How long have you been seeing him?? Confused

I personally couldn't be arsed with anyone like that so yes you've done the right thing.
Game playing is so boring

FissionChip5 · 02/03/2019 23:30

He sounds like a right weirdo, are you still with him?

Nothingunpleasant · 02/03/2019 23:30

If you deleted him his picture would have gone from your WhatsApp.

He sounds weird. How long were you together?

Smotheroffive · 02/03/2019 23:32

An explanation would be futile, but you were never gonna get closure. You never will from someone who behaves this way and treats you like such utter shite!

Don't, please dont any of your energy to this anymore. You have wasted time and energy with him. Keep moving forward, and don't give a damn Wink

Optimistic199 · 02/03/2019 23:33

When I deleted him, his picture was there as he still had me as a contact..

Yes he does seem like a right weirdo. I was just really baffled as last night he’d called me for ages and I couldn’t sense that anything was up...

OP posts:
wishywashy6 · 02/03/2019 23:35

He sounds like a game player. Trying to reel you on with all the crap about wanting a baby with you then being a twat and saying he doesn't want to talk to you. Probably expecting you to go crawling back begging for him to speak to you again. Don't. He sounds like a bellend.

CinammonPorridge · 02/03/2019 23:41

I would trust your instincts and not contact him again. I would also turn off the blue ticks on whatsapp before dating anyone as they are a mental minefield.

Optimistic199 · 02/03/2019 23:41

I think he did expect me to beg him for an explanation and probably didn’t expect me to react how I did but still, what a weirdo.

Really confused though as he would continuously talk to me throughout the day even whilst at work and make a lot of effort but oh well!

OP posts:
Orange6904 · 02/03/2019 23:42

Sounds a bit immature, why are you watching each other go on and offline on whatsapp? Just block and move on, sounds like he wants to play stupid games or he is messing about with someone else/thinks you are.

AFistfulofDolores1 · 02/03/2019 23:48

"he would continuously talk to me throughout the day even whilst at work"

If you read the threads about red flags, this is one of them. There is such a thing as too much attention.

Optimistic199 · 02/03/2019 23:51

He has had a few ex wives and I did find him a bit weird as he kept on saying that they all had mental problems. He kept on saying he has had bad luck with women and toxic marriages I don’t know why I continued to speak to him as I found his remarks about women quite off putting

Oh well lucky escape !

OP posts:
RagingWhoreBag · 02/03/2019 23:56

Big red flag “my ex is mental”. That would have been how he talked about you next. Lucky escape and the perfect way to end his pathetic game.

AFistfulofDolores1 · 02/03/2019 23:56

It might be a great opportunity for you to take some time to explore why you would even contemplate a relationship with a man who was awash in red flags.

SD1978 · 02/03/2019 23:59

Did/ do you have much of an in person relationship? Was it long distance if most communication was through what's app? I agree it annoying not to have an explanation, but I wouldn't have continued to engage with him either.

Optimistic199 · 03/03/2019 00:01

He did have a few red flags I agree but I felt a bit sorry for him as well as he has 3 kids which he said he is not allowed to see. I won’t be wasting any more time thinking of it all anymore

OP posts:
Smotheroffive · 03/03/2019 00:03

Be prepared for him to reel you back in when he realises his ruse -stupid abusive head games-- haven't worked.

Then you need to stay strong. You are better off without him, don't become yet another mental ex

Optimistic199 · 03/03/2019 00:04

It was a long distance, he would drive four hours to see me! And even though it was far, if he seen me on a Tuesday for eg, he would make an excuse to come again on the Friday

OP posts:
AfterSchoolWorry · 03/03/2019 00:04

He said he wanted a baby with you?

With two ex wives and three existing kids, Red flags all over the place 🚩🚩🚩

Optimistic199 · 03/03/2019 00:06

He had 3 ex wives and the kids were from his first wife... he also had two very serious relationships and his reasons for breaking up with them were weird

OP posts:
Starch · 03/03/2019 00:08

Bullet dodged.

Optimistic199 · 03/03/2019 00:08

I know it sounds weird that I was getting to know him and my gut feeling about him was negative but despite everything we did get on

OP posts:
Smotheroffive · 03/03/2019 00:09

Yeah, weird. Maybe there are his DC and he's not allowed contact with them. You don't ever know who someone is.

You could always make an application under Claires law

Smotheroffive · 03/03/2019 00:09

You'd soon find out

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