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Original poster

Did I react to this ‘breakup’ well?

168 replies

Optimistic199 · 02/03/2019 23:26

I met a guy & we really got on. He would make lots of effort & there was a lot of chemistry.
Anyway, this morning I was on watsap and so was he.: whenever I would go offline so would he and when I would come back online so would he. He usually watsaps me as soon as he wakes up but today he didn’t I was about to say hello when he randomly text me ‘I don’t want to speak to you anymore’

I was a bit baffled but just said lol ok to which he replied ‘I’m serious’ I then replied back saying yes I’m serious too ok. And I then deleted him which I know would have really wound him up ( he would have seen my watsap pic go) he then deleted me too as his also went

It was a bit weird. We spoke on the phone last night for a couple of hours (as usual) and just on Tuesday he kept on saying he wanted a baby with me!!!

I have no idea why he would just randomly text me that. I would like to know why he had a sudden change of heart but I didnt want to embarrass myself so just left it but part of me thinks maybe he was testing me to get a reaction? This is something he’d do

Was I wrong to go with what he said without an explanation??

OP posts:
Weirdlookingbricks · 03/03/2019 00:11

Delete and block. ALL methods of communication.

Original poster
Optimistic199 · 03/03/2019 00:14

The kids he had are his but all from the first wife. He story he gave was that she didn’t like his mum and so one day when he had the kids, he had taken the kids to see his mum and the ex went mental and stopped him seeing the kids. He then said it went to court and she pulled a few tricks ...

I’ve deleted him and have no trace of him anywhere and I doubt he will ever contact me again either so good riddance

OP posts:
pocketdelia · 03/03/2019 00:15

The more information you drip feed about this idiot the worse he sounds. Nothing you've said makes him sound remotely attractive or in any way a catch. You deserve better. Listen to that gut instinct of yours, it's there to look after you.

Orange6904 · 03/03/2019 00:18

Sounds a bit dodgy, best to move on op.

Smotheroffive · 03/03/2019 00:23

Good for you OP. Normally dms try pretty hard for the sake of the DC to foster good family relationships, so its not so likely. Be prepared for the lure to suck you back in. Does he have a key or anything? Change the locks if so.

amilosingitor · 03/03/2019 00:27

I'm voting for attention seeker, well rid id say!

RedTartanLass · 03/03/2019 00:33

Well done for blocking and moving on, you def dodged a bullet then! Can I just ask how long you were together?

Wakk · 03/03/2019 00:49

Well done.

Acalavero · 03/03/2019 01:07

@Optimistic199
Where did you meet him? How long were you together?

Original poster
Optimistic199 · 03/03/2019 01:19

I met him online & we were only ‘together’ a couple of months... he was taking the whole thing very seriously which is what made me a bit Confused at his message this morning.

I have thought of something though, Last night on the phone he did mention that I change my watsap pic quite a bit and then this morning I’d changed it again (whilst he was online) & then I’d got his message. Could be related

Oh well!

OP posts:
Bubblegumgal · 03/03/2019 01:35

OP .... he’s not allowed to see his kids through a court order? I think if you read the threads on here you’ll find that’s actually a rare thing for a parent to accomplish & usually only under one circumstance....
Then he’s had 3 wives and 2 other serious relationships.....
He can’t give you a viable reason for any of the breakups....
I think this was his attempt to change the dynamic of your relationship with him so he can gain power to manipulate & control you.
I may be way off base here but my guess would be he’s a serial abuser & dangerous.

wishywashy6 · 03/03/2019 08:21

Agree with @Bubblegumgal OP

All the lovey dovey talk sounds like he was trying to love bomb you. He sounds like a manipulative controlling narcissistic tosser, stay well clear. Bet he's already trying it with someone else

Ididalwayswonder · 03/03/2019 09:55

First off, if he didn't want to be with you, why not ring you? Secondly, why did he need to send you such a blunt, shitty message. To catch you off guard?

It's like he's playing games. I don't think he expected the response you gave. He's shot himself in the foot.

He's not the one for you.

lifegoes · 03/03/2019 10:00

Well rid, everyone around him is mental. Yet he's the sane one 👀

I think he's expected you to ask why and try and defend yourself in some way. As you haven't he's spat his dummy out.

He'll come back I guarantee he will text in a few days.

Original poster
Optimistic199 · 03/03/2019 10:11

I have no idea why he wouldn’t ring (as usually he is on the phone to me all day!) so I do think now that he was playing games and expecting me to beg him which I would never do. Which is why he even said ‘I’m serious’ as at that point he hadn’t got the response he had expected

Oh well, I don’t know why I’m thinking of his reasons

No he would never contact me again he has mentioned some things before which makes me know he would never contact again so that’s good!

OP posts:
lifegoes · 03/03/2019 10:13

You've had a lucky escape OP.

WhatWouldDavinaDo · 03/03/2019 10:38

Sounds like you handled it perfectly, lucky escape!

Notcoolmum · 03/03/2019 10:49

Omg. This is simply bizarre. I hope that by posting here you can see how weird he is, and not just today, so there is no chance of you missing him and being reeled back in.

He sounds mental!!

Original poster
Optimistic199 · 03/03/2019 11:43

The last few days he had been pressuring me to move things on a bit (as in a proper relationship) but I was reluctant and the fact he has sent that message, a part of me thinks maybe he wanted me to question why he didn’t want to speak to me so then he could set the rules ie let’s move this on or I won’t speak to you Confused

I just found it very very strange the way he bluntly said he doesn’t want to speak to me
Anymore when the day before he was a completely different person and he had invested a lot of time on me.

But yes I can see how weird he is and know I’ve had a lucky escape!

No I won’t be missing him! And defo won’t be reeled in if he ever makes contact again (which he won’t)

OP posts:
Original poster
Optimistic199 · 03/03/2019 12:05

Ok he’s definitely a weirdo

He just called me. I don’t have his number saved & I answered (on the call it did say maybe: and the name I had previously saved him as) anyway I answered and acted like I didn’t know who it was and when I heard his voice said give me two minutes and hung up (was busy but wanted to know what he was gna say)

He called back this time a bit more annoyed and said basically I wanted to tell you that I don’t think it’s gna work out and I don’t like you any more LOL. I said yeah that’s fine you already told me you didnt wana speak to me so I deleted your number so don’t know why you’re ringing me???

He said well thought I’d let you know

Then he randomly said and I don’t like how much makeup you wear lolll

Wtf?! I said ok thanks and put phone down. What a bloody weirdo. I’m a bit shocked that he rang back and I guess he wanted the upper hand by letting me know he didn’t like me Confused weirdo!!!!!

OP posts:
Spacecadetagain · 03/03/2019 12:09

Please read my thread on here . Narcissist abuse or not ? This man sounds like a carbon copy of the vile abusive man that I finally discarded me at the weekendcafter 2.5 years of hell after I saw him for the lying cheating piece of crap he was .
My ex was exactly the Same . He would call and what’s app me morning noon and night . He declared soul mate status . His ex was an evil bitch . Then suddenly he told me he didn’t want a relationship and accused me of pressuring him etc . What I should have done was wave him goodbye but instead I ended up in a 2.5 undefined situation where he idiolused and devalued me so many times that I thought I was going insane . Behind my back he was sleeping with anything with a pulse from what I finally saw on his phone and discarded me for good at the weekend when I finally saw through his lies and he had a new sex supply lined up . This man has does this for two reasons . Either it’s to completely pull the rug from under your feet leaving you reeling and desperate to get him back in any terms .. in which case you will then find yourself agreeing to friends with benefits while he plays the confused card . Or it’s because He’s found what he thinks is someone better .. but in either case .. do not be surprised at all when he comes creeping back to suck you in . Please don’t be me .. block him on everything and cut him out .

Spacecadetagain · 03/03/2019 12:11

Optimistic I’ve just seen your last post . Yep he’s an abuser . He will no doubt come back in a week or two with apologies and claim to be confused . Seriously Block Block Block !!

Original poster
Optimistic199 · 03/03/2019 12:13

Spacecadet - oh no sorry to hear that

I feel that he definitely didn’t get the reaction he wanted off me yesterday which is why he called me to tell me he didn’t like me. Surprising as this whole week he was pestering me to move things on.

I wish I didn’t answer the call so he didn’t have the satisfaction of telling me that but I would have always wondered what he had to say so I’m glad I did and good riddance to a complete and utter weirdo!

OP posts:
BrusselPout · 03/03/2019 12:14

Sounds like you had a lucky escape there and handled it perfectly. Of course he wanted you to boost his ego by begging him not to end things, he even gave you the second begging opportunity with his 'I'm serious' message!!!

Spacecadetagain · 03/03/2019 12:15

Optimistic - I ended up almost suicidal at some stage but I’m now trying to heal and telling myself I’m finally free . Brusselpout is right . You didn’t feed his ego by begging and pleading . He doesn’t like it

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